Introduce yourself in a workplace meeting, but I got nothing

Question about IT 'professional' meetings as a newly hired consultant with a couple of months experience.
At every meeting I've been to, we start of by going around the room and introducing ourselves. This part is really nerve wrecking...

What do I say? I got no real experience to talk about, or anything else relevant to get me credibility for that matter. Only my name, how long I've worked here and that I'm a web developer. So about 30 seconds of content.

Anyone has any tips for these situations? I would so much rather sit with my head down in the actual projects, but this is just a part I have to get better at.. Tips or advice would be really appreciated..

Hi my name is user, I have autism so please be patient with me

kill yourself

but ure just webdev monkey not "IT professional"

thats one way to look at it, sure.. Cant be too different for you "IT professionals" with customer meetings and such, though?

thing is why thefuck lowlife like you is even invited into meetings?

In what world meetings a privilege? Hahaha, you think only the best and the brightest are the ones invited to meetings? Fuck no, and you should know this....

In case you didn't realize it by now. No one is expecting developers to not be a complete spergs. Just introduce yourself and explain what is that you are working on/what you are good at or something. Try not to stutter too much.
How the fuck did you even get a contract without being able to introduce yourself. Daddy's company?

Good points, thanks.
And you would think so, but no - maybe rather dumb luck.

You fucking weebs need to learn how to bullshit. Do you have any wit about you? Make a fucking Chuck Norris joke for FFS. This one is always golden

>Chuck Norris invented the giraffe by uppercutting a horse

Autists love it and you can thank me later when one of the sock wearing pre-op trannys gives you a bj in the mens room.

Just make shit up nigger, I was a karate expert in my last meeting. No one is paying attention during introductions anyway.

You too? We should fight sometime.

Normies like yourselves should be segregated from beautiful people. Die, you fucking niggers.

Chuck Norris sucks

30s is fine, everybody hates meetings and would rather they end quicker and I doubt anybody cares about anyone else's life story. If somebody doesn't know you, what they actually need to know is who you are, what team you're coming from, what your competence regarding the meeting's subject is and why you're there.

I see, very nicely put. Thank you so much.

Also some decent advice mixed in here, I appreciate it.

Talk about what you are passionate about, use buzzwords. Blockchain, neural networks, synergies, digitalization. Smile.

Nobody there fucking cares user. Everyone is there to work and get paid first and socialise second if even at all.

Fuck those meetings
But, just say something generic
Like:
>I like working on cars
>I like playing video games
Or a sarcastic/funny one
>I like watching Netflix and long walks on the beach.

Yup meetings are really such a waste 90% of the time. Meaningless discussions going on and on..

Go watch youtube videos.