Which everyday items do you wish had smartphone integration but currently don't?

Which everyday items do you wish had smartphone integration but currently don't?

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ihealthlabs.com/glucometer/wireless-smart-gluco-monitoring-system/
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A girlfriend

A smartphone app that summons a gf

A gun

What is tinder?

>using tinder to find a girlfriend

toilet paper

my wife's son's chastity cage

tinder only summons thots

Actually fun vidya

>mfw soyboys will be here any second to say "my asshole"

my asshole

my asshole

A glucometer.
(Or better yet a blood less glucometer)

Dumb people are dumb

A gun so I could shoot myself with ease, preferably a timer so that it shoots me sometime during my sleep.

These have existed for years.

ihealthlabs.com/glucometer/wireless-smart-gluco-monitoring-system/

my asshole

My vape. I wanna track my cloud stats

A breathalyzer function

my 2 months old son's diaper
unironically

How would that work exactly?

it would alert me when it's full of shit/piss

You really want the botnet to have that information?

Seems pretty easy to just throw a hygrometer in there, then connect it to an arduino with a wifi module. The issue is that it's probably going to get nasty. Not sure how to solve that problem. Then again, you'll have to take care of the diapers and clean your shitty baby anyway, so does it really matter if you also have to rinse the hygrometer probe while you're at it?

You know, this is actually not a bad idea. We could add some tiny battery and make it rechargable via micro usb or usb c, put it in a relatively durable plastic case that you can add to the outside of the diapers with a clip or something.

Add a pulsometer and temperature monitor and you can sell it for some bucks. People are really into keeping their children alive.
google 'apnea' and 'sudden infant death syndrome'
t.daddy

this is why the chinks will always be trash

Everthing IoT sucks. It may work for a bit, get no security updates or bugfixes and after a month it's a pile of ...

Having a combined hygrometer/thermometer (that needs to be replaced on a monthly basis for $19.99 for muh hygiene & safety, subscriptions available) seems easy enough, but how to add a pulse monitor on such a device in a practical fashion? Blood sugar would of course also be very nice to have, since that would let you know when they're probably hungry, but I don't see how to do that practically on a cheap consumer device either, you obviously don't want to stick needles into them. Perhaps if you have a pulse monitor you can correlate the pulse to their hunger level? People generally have an increased heart rate after they've eaten, this may be true for babies as well.

>items
kek

None. It all frustrates me. The way it should work is that you should have a home server that is locally connected to all the shit you might want to monitor or control in your house and then you could connect your phone to the server with ssh or some other sane method or keep it separated from the Internet if you feel paranoid. But yeah, typing commands or scripts on modern phones is painful because they are all shit. Fuck this gay Earth. At least you could connect your ThinkPad to it.

Actually there is nothing stopping me from doing that, but it frustrates me how people waste time developing shit solutions and then other people waste money buying shit solutions (the former one frustrates me more).

my onahole

toddlers have unstable heartrate, because their blood system is in developement