Help me /g, i have low confidence

I am a senior developer with experience in PHP, Python, Java Android and Javascript, i handle back-end and frontend and server. Working as "Lead Developer" in a medium sized company with 30 employees.

I make a middle class salary in my country, third world asian country. I go to work with a motorcycle driver, my driver is university degree.

I consider myself currently as "quite successful", but i have a lot of fear in my heart, i can feel really down sometimes, even to the point of despair.

Long story short, i have no degree, i am self-taught. I always feel inferior compared to people with bachelor degree or master degree, i also fear the future because i am afraid i might not be able to get a job in my 35-45. I am currently 27 years old.

How do i deal with this chronic panic attack or inferiority complex?

Should i just buy a degree and faked it? Should i just find a girlfriend that can support me? Should i prepare for a suicide pill to prepare for the day where i cannot get a job ?

HELP Sup Forums

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Define yourself at work.

In my country, universities are low quality, but still, like all countries in the world, it is still a "boost" for you, especially to HR that think it means something.

(i am the OP)

Im in college in computer science. Most of our books are free online. If you really feel like you need to learn more stuff, just read them man.

>Define yourself at work.

I am lucky enough that all these times i can get a job because the Bosses trusted me and gave me the opportunity to prove myself.

I wrote a book about programming with Javascript in Windows 8 when i was 22 years old, it's in Amazon.

I am middle-upper in IT knowledge, currently learning math and Machine Learning.

I make more middle-upper class salary to the point i can support my mother and my 2 brothers, while lots of university graduates i know are struggling really bad these days because jobs are scarce outside of IT, and in IT and software, it's really tough and takes 100% of your time because you need to learn and test, etc.

But despite my "success", i have chronic fear attack randomly because i lack a university degree, it makes me fear for the future.

:(

If you already have the job, your boss trust you and your moto driver has a college degree, i dont think you need to fear anything...

the thing is, i'm already a very good software developer (web and mobile), still weak in math and machine learning. But i don't really need to go to university to learn again, unless it's for math and machine learning.

But i really feel inferior because i have no degree. My mother already told me many times that all companies now use test to prove you can do the job, and they don't really care about degrees.

But i still randomly feel fear and inferior and have confidence panic.

I am thinking of buying a degree, but i fear it may actually kill me because i might get exposed someday.

and i "know" many companies still believe in degree in IT sector, especially the HR that doesn't know a lot about programming.

I could be wrong, but i feel it.

i didn't go to college because back then my family had money problem.

I learn by myself because i was curios, then slowly fell in love with it, and after quite some time, i get a job as junior and now i am senior developer (in reality i am a lead developer).

But i feel i am inferior with someone with a bachelor degree or master degree despite they cannot program / basic skill sets. Because they have a degree while i just have a high school paper.

You need to go to another board. Like advice. Your issue isn't tech related. Experience is better than a degree.

>help me /g, i have low confidence

made a topic there minutes ago.

Yeah, I'm working on this path as well. College was expensive, but managed to go to those boot camps. Now working at a Fortune 200 company.

Honestly wondering if going for lead/senior is worth it at the moment though.

holy fuck this guy is insecure. don't look for attention and justification for your past actions here, you retard.
and yes, get a girlfriend that can ((((support)))) (you)

i became senior simply because my salary is higher than average and i know more technologies. I am Lead Developer because i am responsible and handle multiple projects.

For me, it's not about worth it or not, it's simply because with higher salary, i have more responsibility.

But despite having a career in IT, sometimes i can have fear and very low self confidence because i don't have a "computer science degree".

I wish i live in a world where colleges don't print paper that proves person A is better than person B. But i don't live in such world.

My mother gave me confidence boost by telling me companies use test instead of degree, but i feel like it's not true and many companies still believe in degrees, especially HR.

i know i am insecure, chad. I am looking for attention and advice. I wrote in my OP, i AM insecure and have random panic attack.

Take up meditation op. Stabilise your mind and exercise your amygdala.

>I make more middle-upper class salary to the point i can support my mother and my 2 brothers
Why do you coddle them? Why should they not have to support themselves independently?

You don't want to work for a company that values subpar degree over experience writing book

My brothers and mother have no skills that can make money.

It's fine for me, it's just small money, it's not like they are living like kings and queens, i just support by paying the bills and their food, and they eat mostly just cheap but healthy foods.

After all this story and you are saying you are afraid
I know you are here just to brag if I am right, fuck you. If not why you are getting scared you have a job just go with it and stick with it, if you get scared for every little thing than thinking about "what if a car hits tomorrow" is also a valid fear but no you don't, just breeeze and slide

>self-taught
>27 years old
>despite that, being a lead developer with many responsibilities
>quite successful
talk to a shrink, this isn't Sup Forums related

> I know you are here just to brag if I am right, fuck you.

I wish.

> If not why you are getting scared you have a job just go with it and stick with it

Because i feel like when i get older, i will lucked out and can't get a job because i have to compete with some asshole with a degree. Not to mention i got a job these time only because i talk directly with the Boss instead of the HR. I believe i would not pass the HR because i only finish high school, i might be wrong, but i "feel it".

I prefer to talk with professional IT workers that can relate instead of some overpaid shrink.

>My brothers and mother have no skills that can make money.
That sounds like their problem, not yours.

Feels wrong not to help my own mother and brothers. Again, it's just small money for me, just 25% of my salary. I can get more money in the future.

I feel like i can get heavy mental stress for being a bad son if i don't do it. I got a job in the first place years ago so i can help my mom. It would be ironic if i would later not help her after i became senior developer. I just treat it as charity, really. In the end, i need to be a responsible son.

>just 25% of my salary
That's a pretty big chunk of your salary.
>In the end, i need to be a responsible son.
Why? Who said you have to do that? I don't think you are a bad son if you refuse to succumb to guilt trips from your family.

I am not that kind of a son. Quite a big chunk but it's no problem, because i live with my mother and she cooks and manage my clothing and all that through some laundry service, i still can't afford a house unless i am willing to sign a decade of mortgage. I can afford a car with cash though, but in my country, the road is jammed a lot, so i prefer to use service like Uber, but i used a moto driver that i pay monthly. Cheaper and more reliable.

Then paying rent is fair enough, but don't conflate it with some sort of obligation to finance your mother just because she's your mother. But what do your brothers do to deserve money from you?

they are my younger brothers, just like me, they didn't go to college, but unlike me, they don't like IT, so they cannot get a job. I am not obliged to finance my mother, but if my mother cannot survive without my money, i would not just ignore her. Simple as that.

>they don't like IT, so they cannot get a job
What prevents them from getting jobs in other fields?

This e-book + videos might be of interest to you:
bigmachine.io/products/the-imposters-handbook

I tried to tell them to learn it, but they don't like it at all, i can understand because not everyone can code and not everyone likes computer. Unlike what Ivanka, Kode with Karlie and the Apple CEO insisted.

It would be low pay and mother is too protective towards them, it's ok, i am planning to buy a car next year so they can be an uber driver with my car (and maybe also drives me to office and to home from office).

i bookmarked it.

>It would be low pay
So what? Most starter jobs are low pay.
>mother is too protective towards them
Then she needs to accept reality, they are no longer infants.
>i am planning to buy a car next year so they can be an uber driver with my car
They really have you by the balls, don't they?

No, they don't have me by my balls, but i want the best for my family. I don't want to regret in the future that i didn't help my own mother.

And besides, i can just also tell my brothers that i want some part of the money to also pay for my car's auto-loan payment. Since i won't want to pay the car in one big cash payment.

i am not an individualist, i am like a jew, family oriented.

in Asia, it's not that uncommon to see children helping their family. I don't know about western countries culture, i hear they kicked the son out of the home when they reached 18, but it's not like that in Asia