Sit down to take a shit

>Sit down to take a shit
>Package arrives

Ever heard of Smartpost?

>have toilet right next to the door
>yell WAIT A MINUTE THERE!!
>finish my shit and go take the package

you're supposed to move on from plastic potties user...

>sit down to take a shit
>a passing car splashes water in your face

>iktf

>shit exclusively at work
>never interupted

Happened to me 5 minutes ago. For fucks sake

>waiting for package arriving today
>delivery window is 5 hours
>have to take a shit
i can't hold it much longer, i've been waiting for 3 hours

>not shitting in your outhouse by your front porch

i honestly just tell the delivery people to keep the package at one of their local locations so i can pick it up anytime i want

kek

feels bad rajesh

>leaving the house

>shitting at work
Aren’t you embarrassed? I can only go at home.

I just get up and let the poop drop into my underwear lol

> I cant take a shit in just a few seconds
Do I have ass cancer?

*can, stupid phone

>be me
>wait on package all day
>have to take a shit really bad all day
>finally can't hold it anymore
>sit down on the toilet
>hear the doorbell ring mid shit
>it's the fucking UPS cunt
>look out the bathroom window to see tyrone riding off with my package on his stolen bike

No, you're just young

>shiting at home
look at this beta shitter

>not getting paid to shit
now who's embarrased?

Kek

Just toggle your amazon lock so deliveryman can enter and stream his visit for entertainment

...

>sit down to eat shit shit
>package leaves

>Sit down to take a shit
>Package arrives
>It's the toilet paper my gf ordered last night because we ran out.

It’s a single use bathroom and it opens to the break room. With a staff of 7 people they would know.
I smoke ten minutes every hour so I still get my jab at the man.

>It’s a single use bathroom and it opens to the break room. With a staff of 7 people they would know.
I bet they already know that you poop.

>not having a 2 way webcam attached to the door and your bathroom wall
>not staring down the delivery guy as you take a gigantic shit

It's free toilet paper, dude.

>Sit down to take a package
>Shit arrives

Just do it outside :^)

>pay money to poison myself

I haven't taken a shit I wasn't paid for in months. Will not take a shit when I'm off just to shit monday morning. Something to look forward to

...

>not shitting outside so you can greet the delivery guy in person

>splashes water

So are you telling me that they dont just leave your package at your door?

>Sit down and fap
>Cum in pants
>Package arrives

The concierge of my building just holds it for me and texts me when it arrives

>take a shit 10 mins before 30 min break

of course they don't some favelado would steal it

depends on the shippers preferences and carrier/location

if you live in bumfuck they just leave 2k+ worth of shit on your porch usually, but once time a 2$ chink flashlight I had to sign for

This whole thread is the epitome of "shit" posting

>finish shit
>retrieve package from doorstep

I go out of my way to ONLY shit at work. Less burden on my septic system.

>Sit down to take a fap
>Cum arrives

>package arrives
>shit on it

>taking a shit
>last day of exams
>break is over

then he will just leave and try to deliver later or put the package in some place that you have to go to and get the package

>fap
>package arrives
>try to hide my ragin' hard on

they have a device with them and they force you to write your name on it before they give the package so no.

What's so hard? Just slip it into your waistband.

Depends on the package and shipping option the seller chooses, I've even had a TV waiting for me on my steps when I got home before.

what a shit thread

I want to do this, but our bathroom is right in the centre of 3 offices on either side.

Surrounded by women.

I mean, i still go when the need arises, but fuck I hate it.

NO THEY DONT NO THEY DONT NO THEY

maaan i love those shit threads
bump

>tfw I have abnormally long intestines so I can hold in a shit for 2 days

When I was little I only shat once a week. One day when I was 11 or 12 I started shitting daily

>Tfw I have to shit 3 to 4 times a day
I think I might have a problem

You eat too much food, consider drinking protein shakes (slim fast) with fiber supplements (benefiber)

Thanks, I'll look into that

based UPS man

UPS do not leave packages at the doorstep, they reschedule for the next day only.

...

Depends. I had to go pick up a small package mostly containing birthday cards, but when I bought a $600 monitor from Amazon, they just left the fucker at the front door while I was at work, no signature. Not even generic brown packaging, just the box you'd see in store. I'm glad I don't live in a shit neighborhood, but that was scary. If I were a POS I might have reported it as not arriving and tried to claim it was stolen.

When exactly did that happen? Mid-shit? After you've done, but had to wipe? Mid-wipe? Just as your buttcheeks touched the seat?
I am fails aficionado, I need precise details of your misfortune.

god this happenened to me three days in a row last week having to run to the door with a shitty ass ;__;

>hear letterbox opening
>someone is posting a turd through my door