Help, anons

This may or may not be a dumb ass question, but here's the deal:
I got arrested a few years back for a crime that has since been expunged from public record (possession of a deadly weed); however, the event happened to fall on a week that a writer covering crime for my local newspaper inexplicably published the weekly arrest report from that particular PD online. You can probably see where this is going; I'm now trying to get a job in a respected field, and this is going to cause me problems as it's the first thing that shows up when you google my name.
Before I lobby the newspaper itself or the writer, who doesn't even work for them anymore (she stopped writing for them a week after my arrest; I fucking shit you not), is there any service whereby you can pay (or not) to have a discrete webpage taken offline and/or blocked from general view upon a google search. I figured this would be the place to ask.

No

>is there any service whereby you can pay (or not) to have a discrete webpage taken offline and/or blocked from general view upon a google search
No.
You can allege copyright infringement directly to Google though. It only has to look mildly believable for them to hide the result and the newspaper won't bother fighting it.

Arrest record websites are fucking assholes and know how much this matters to you, so you have to pay them annually to hide information off their sites, and this is a perpetual thing.

Just change your name to something ungoogleable.

It's not even an arrest record site. It's just an article on the newspaper's online website that one of their writers just happened to put up. As far as I can tell, it's never been SOP for them to do so. She just took the initiative to do it for two random weeks one month. I just got unlucky as fuck, besides from putting myself in a really dumb position in the first place.

just a tip OP user.
unless you were under 18 when this happened, it never, ever goes "off record" no matter what they say or tell you. it is there forever.

haha yeah, I know that. Your average employer wouldn't be able to find out though.

Thanks for this. I'm going to try it.

let sleeping dogs lie, user.

You committed a crime and these are the consequences. You have no one to blame but yourself.

lol. I wouldn't want my worst enemy to be effected by a victim-less crime that he committed over 5 years ago when he was just a dumbass high school student, especially if such an occurrence wasn't even the norm.

Wise advice. I've altered my course of action.

>(possession of a deadly weed)
I live in a country where this sort of thing is punishable with the death sentence... and even here, no one will search for this when considering a candidate for a job position. There is a very good chance that you are perfectly fine, and no one is going to google your crime record.

He may be mean, but he has a point. Many people seem to ignore the fact that we are living in "le current year", and publicly behave in a very stupid manner, even though everything that you say or do in public will be recorded.

You can be a perfectly normal, very employable skilled person, but you decide that ONE TIME to perform fellatio on an icecream cone "just for laughs" when out with friends, and you end up on reddit's front page and become a meme.

Also pic.

And these are not even breaking the law!

I Just Can't Deal With How That Guy Capitalizes Every Fucking God Damn Word, What The Hell Man

ban assault weed

You're 100% right, and normally I'd agree with him, just not in this particular situation given the crime and circumstance. It's not an excuse, but I know of people who've fucked up much worse, but their arrests weren't even put online, only print. This was just a freak occurrence where I happen to be in one of only two arrest reports that this writer ever published online. That being said, I wouldn't be caught dead in a similar situation nowadays whether the arrest had ever happened or not. I don't do that kind of shit these days anyway, it's legality notwithstanding.

if you are in the states and have a common last name like, say, Smith, or Williams it's fucking great. it's those last name(s) where if there is like two or three of you left of the family(name) that kills you.

>I don't do that kind of thing these days anyway, it's legality notwithstanding.
Lesson learnt. Hopefully others learn from your experience. And hopefully you can get a job without any issues.

Best of luck, user.

Use SEO to get the page pushed far below other mentions of your name on search engine results.

yepp, the problem is that my name is as unique as they come. When you google my friend who was arrested with me, the article is buried under 4 pages of D-list athletes and actors lol

>possession of a deadly weed
getting arrested for a plant...
so much for Land of the free.

>I Just Can't Deal With How That Guy Capitalizes Every Fucking God Damn Word, What The Hell Man
His mind is working on a different frequency, You can't stand it because you don't understand his great works.