Tech Greentexts

ITT: Greentexts about technology

I'll start:

>be me like 5 years ago
>fixing computer
>"oh no, i lost a screw"
>fuck it, i'll invest in one of those magnetic trays
>next time fixing a computer
>put screws in magnetic tray
>i lost the entire magnetic tray
>5 years later
>still never seen it again

>be me
>fixing technology
>put everything back
>there's an extra screw
>toss it in the overflowing "extra screws" box

>be me like 5 years ago
>fixing computer
>put it back together and there's an extra screw
>I'll stick it in next time I open it up
>next time I fix computer
>can't find where screw goes
>put it back together
>extra magnetic tray
>toss it in the overflowing "magnetic trays" box

>Be me
>Browsing Sup Forums
>See an anime thread
>Post this greentext

kek. But seriously

>Interviewed for a job
>Ask question "what are your plans around supporting Windows later than Win XP"
>Interviewer laughs. Let me explain it son, in business Win XP is all anyone uses. The business world isn't like gaymers at home who can just go and run newer OSs
>Yes but what about future plans
>Confusion. What do you mean, why would we ever move on?
>This was October 2017

>someone calls helpdesk, i answer
>"hey the printer is broken. it just keeps printing black"
>go down to copy room and check on printer, user's probably just trying to print some retarded format
>o shit
>it's not the printer, it's the A0 plotter
>she didn't mean it prints black when someone prints
>it literally just prints black
>it's spewed out like 50 meters of an A0 paper roll and photo-grade ink
>try to cancel
>it's hopeless, the printer is claiming that it's "finishing current job"
>fuck it
>pull power cord
>clear print queue on print server
>contact the user who submitted that retarded print job
>was an engineer trying to print some CAD drawings of a ship
>he accidentally printed it in 1:1 scale

must have a pretty beefy print server to have been able to rasterize that

I should have tried that in my old high school drafting class

I don't even know if "overkill" is enough to describe this thing.

used to be a VM, but it struggled if it got giant jobs so my old colleague just went "fuck it, use the compute host itself as the print server"

Yes, but where's the problem?

i think that passes as "pretty beefy", yep

Well, that's kinda the point of a printer server, specially if there is CAD involved in the first place

And later they cry over malware infections.

But let me beat that one - there are accountant companies in my country that STILL uses fucking DOS software, all text based. Near 2018.

Nearly everytime the answer is "we paid for it, so why change it?". Holy shit.

>buy optiplex off craigslist
>it rattles when it pick it up
>open the case
>4 granny porn dvds
>later i "lose" 2 livecds because its somehow super easy to put the disk between the drive and case
Fucking SFF Dells man.

>decide to add a RAID1 of 2 SSDs to my home server
>buy a sleek 4x2.5inch hotswap thingie for drives for 5.25 bray
>buy two 120 GB SSDs
>buy a hardware RAID PCI-E 1x card
>buy SATA cables
>everything arrives on the same day
>hellyeahmotherfucker.png
>start installing everything
>mfw I'm out of sata power cables...
>mfw I have free molex but no adapters
Sometimes I think I must be retarded or something.

This is extremely aggravating to my autism. Fuck you heathen.

>Greentexts about technology
I think you mean greentechs

>or something
Nice hobby you got there to keep yourself alive.

Our AS400 machines work better than any replacement would ever do

>be me 20 minutes ago
>Government Agency that uses my tech company calls
>all of our files for ARC (random program they use for everything) are gone!?!
>Open ARC main folder
>See subfolder called "ARC"
>tfw they just moved everything down 1 layer

>2017
>Not posting greenTeX to your favorite Chechen blindfolded parachute sewing telegram hub.

>be me
>build my first PC a few years ago
>incrementally upgrade it over the years
>never separately buy any cables
>like a month ago, buy new SSD
>"I should have some spare sata cables or something around, right?"
>SSD arrives
>dig in "random parts and cables" box
>find like 10 SATA cables, both angled and straight, and a wide variety of SATA and molex adapters, extenders, Y-cables, Z-cables, I don't fucking know
How did you manage to run out of cables dude

>"pretty beefy"

It's a server my dude. 6x500B drives for media, 2x1TB for data, 2x120GB fo OS.

Also, it was in my new apartment. If it was ack home I would definitely have multiple moles->sata adapters.

>500 byte drives
Kekkity
>Also, it was in my new apartment
That explains it.

Can I ask why 240GB, and two drives, for a server OS?

>Guy buys refurb HP computer
>Comes back and tells us the CD drive doesn't fit CDs
>Check his computer
>CDs fit perfectly and read fine.
>Talk to client and turns out client had set the computer upside-down and when he put his CD drive in a backwards drive of course it wouldn't fit.
>"Sir you bought an HP not a dH"

My guess would be that he planned on running multiple OSes in VMs.

It's actually just 120GB since it's RAID1 of 2 120GB SSDs.

And I need that much because of 2 reasons:

1. A decent amount of docker containers
2. Metrics from multiple hosts collected with Graphite

Metrics for ~6 hosts for the past year take about 20GB. But then again I have pretty high resolution retention for 6 months back.

No reason to change it if it works well, FreeDOS and DOSBox will let you use it on virtually anything for decades to come. It's probably not networked anyway so not much of a security issue.

When I was a kid I had a hand me down laptop from my Dad, I tossed my laptop on my bead and the display cable disconnected, after me and my Dad took it apart and put it back together there was about 20 extra screws.

>1
>2
>3 4

>be me
>browsing anime
>see Sup Forums thread
???
>profit

>not be me
>nothing necessarily happens

fuck you

>be not me
>don't know, because not me

Ok man I thought this was going to be a shit thread but you got me, I laughed

>Be me
>Lose a screw
>Whatever, no one will notice anyways

>Be me
>at job interview for customer service position
>interviewer qt af
>get asked what I know about technology
>Mention Linux among my proficiencies
>"W-what's Linux, I've never heard of that before"
>Explain what Linux is like a fucking nerd
>Still didn't get the job
>feelsbadman.tar

I don't think your interviewer used the word "gaymer", user.

>Linux
If you had just said GNU+Linux you would've gotten the job AND gotten laid by the interviewer.

>talking to my dad about the heating system problems in his truck
>Problem only started on ride over to a flooring job we're doing
>Phone halfway across the room because don't want it smashed in pockets
>Get home
>Open youtube on my phone
>Recommended videos are on fixing this specific heating problem

Not the first time this has happened fuck you google

I've never had this problem. Are you guys just retarded?

>be anime
>browse me
>see a Sup Forums thread
???
>????????

lmao fuck off quad

ay bro i only made one post before i went into lurk mode.
dunno who nabbed my tweet for the thread itself

and yet you keep using google because..?

>le yo
>above 5 years ago
>"fixing"
>disasemblying things
>omg i broke the processor heatsink
>put a little fan over the cpu
>my pc died at 4 minutes
>well, i think this was a not good pc
>trashed
>back in 2017
>read Sup Forums
>read this post
>remember that day
>well, i think i was a stupid boy

>GNU+Linux
it's GNU slash Linux, you pleb

>fixin shitty laptops and pc's for people
>charging hell of money for simple tasks
>feelin like a fraud, depressed af
>only got 30% of it, cause contract
End me

Management is all about political manoeuvring. There's no point in making a rational case that it would be a long-term benefit to the company if they upgraded. Those fuckers won't give your department a dime unless you can somehow scratch their back in return.

Good Sup Forumsread

This my favorite.

...

Our as400 don't work so well ; (

>be me

>be a tech nigger
>try to fix a broken laptop charger
>while connected to the socket
>get electrocuted three times at row
it didn't boost iq

Can I work with you?
Your seems like the ultimate nigga

...

>Sup Forums

>be me
>playing a game hunting a certain material item
>go to post in the general for said game
>google captcha wants me to type in the name of the item i was hunting