I got one of these fucking terror machines for christmas im terrified to even turn the thing on

i got one of these fucking terror machines for christmas im terrified to even turn the thing on
is there anything i can even do with it besides destroy it?

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someone's spam bot is running a little early

no im serious its the most terrifying thing ive ever received i just wonder if there is LITERALLY any use besides the bin

You could put a female condom over it and shove it up your ass

They make great alarm clocks.
>alexa wake me up at XX:XX

Its also a $40-$50 bluetooth speaker, just dont wifi it.

youtu.be/u5kNP7tyhk8

But Christmas is 12-24 hours away.

i dont have a job why would i need to wake up and i already have a sound system
to le bin
i lied im jewish

its not that bad, even as a non-normie

Why not get a job? You never have to wake up at a certain time?

Thats insanely damaging to your brain OP. Seriously. Help.