Sir, I'm going to need you to unlock your phone and laptop

>Sir, I'm going to need you to unlock your phone and laptop

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I'm a native citizen and you can't do that without due process

*unsheathes IBM ThinkPad*
*teleports behind agent*

If I knew this was coming, I would have one of those embarrassing loli desktops that are always in the desktop threads

So I see you're running Adblock... You know, I'm actually on Adblock Plus myself, I know this adblocker is supposed to be better, but, you know what they say, old habits, they die hard.

Sorry, I'm not carrying any such electronics on my person.

Am I being detained?

>he doesn't have his laptop boot into a dummy OS windows 7 with tons of malware

then why can they search through your bags without due process?

don't touch me filthy cuban nigger

Phone and laptop? What filthy concumerist nigger do you think I am?

lmao land of the uniformed dimwits

AM
>I
BEING
>DETAINED
SIR
>?

That wouldn't happen to me, I'm not a nigger.

But what if the TSA agent is a nigger with a grudge against white people?

>nigger with a job
>grudge against white people

All TSA agents hate anyone who appreciates freedom

youtube.com/watch?v=FcIxk685_pk

YOU ARE UNDER ARREST
GET DOWN ON THE GROUND WHILE CROSSING YOUR LEGS WHILE YOUR HANDS ARE IN THE AIR AND CROSS YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD INTERLOCK YOUR FINGERS AND DONT LET YOUR HANDS TOUCH THE GROUND WHILE CRAWLING TOWARDS ME!

I landed in chicongo once and all the TSA agents were fat obnoxious sheboons

youd have to dig it out of my ass first

all it will take is a faggot terrorist to rig a phone/laptop to explode and you can kiss your privacy rights goodbye

You actually think the TSA would hire anyone who can think for a moment and come to the conclusion they're going directly against the constituion? Fuck no, they just want nice obedient workers who see a chance to abuse power over the average joe.

I DO NOT CONDEMN!

no thanks fucko, I'll just take the bus instead.

Officer I can explain

are hentais with lolis legal in your country?

Just push the power button, there's no side quest to use my device like normies and autist.

W-why?

>No
If you want to clone my drive, go ahead.

>This guy doesn't know that your rights as a citizen don't apply while you are trying to cross the border

>Not going private jet.
Poorfags

>"What's a laptop?"

an user running adblock plus?..

My what-top? But sure, here's my Nokia 3210. Knock yourself out, but careful, it'll go right through your foot if you drop it.

>Spongebob /Teen Titan Go/ Thor/ IronMan /The simpson wallpaper

"What the wrong with you?"

>Anime girls wallpaper

"What the wrong with you?" (again)

please disable AdBlock

>tfw my thinkpad still has the old HDD with the copy windows 10 that the ebay guy put on it
Nice, I guess

Have you ever been on an airplane? You can’t claim your 4th amendment rights and expect to get through security

because it won't be your property while in flight, since you are storing it in their location. same reason they can search your car in a school parking lot or your locker

>demanding that I purchase a laptop so you can search it
OP your scenario is logically inconsistent

two scenarios:

>he can't figure out how to use my rice
or
>I have a dual boot setup or Windows in a fullscreen'd VM

>activates stealth mic
Here you are, "sir"

*unzips powerwashed chromebook and factory reset phone*
*log into clean guest account*
*later on the plane log into actual account and recover files and apps automatically*

The botnet is pretty convenient

this isn't the 4th amendment (searches and seizures), this is the 5th amendment (self-incrimination)

>*

Scenario 3: they have an nsa-supplied usb which automatically compromises most known operating systems
Unless you’re running qubes or templeos you shouldn’t bring hardware you want to keep over the US border

gee bill how come you mom lets you wear two hoodies?

Outer one is a coat, visionlet.

*unzips your dick*

As a sovereign citizen, you hold no authority over me. Stand aside.

Technically, both apply. But you still can’t use it as a defense to avoid TSA searches.

T. Attorney

boot into my Windows XP which I have installed on the hdd. also give him my shitty flip phone

my actual os is on a usb

actually, you can and I have

even when I had a note7, they couldn't prevent me from boarding a plane

You didn’t allow them to look through your phone? Yeah, you can do that. I misunderstood the topic and thought we were discussing letting them search your bags

Turn arroud.
Goes back to europe

*boots into my normie 2nd operating system *

>implying
>"oh sir, i see youre in the military. go right ahead, and thank you for your service"

I only travel to free countries

So you don't travel then. It's ok, you're among your kind.

no one ever said they could, its the device itself that was the problem that they didnt want to have on board.

they have every right to do so as well

Okay wait a second
*enter gibberish into password prompt*
Wow, wtf, trying again...
*enter gibberish again*
Damn... I forgot my password... well, another time buddy

Enjoy your cavity search.

Nice, free fisting session.

You wish. They will use a special "device".

It's not locked.
>cue pristine clean installation of Windows 10

>not practicing your clenching to perfection so you can break any intrusive probe

It's made of rubber and you will be administered a local muscle relaxant.

Go to thinkpad BIOS and temporally disable the battery for servicing, laptop wont turn on until you plug an AC adapter.

As for the phone, i don't care, it's already compromised as far as i know.

I did this once
Context: in my job a pajeet got busted with cp, so every coworker was a suspect. My computer is always under 2 passwords, one for luks drive and one for the home. I asked them to copy my harddrive and they did, so my other coworkers asked the same.
When they found I had a password they asked for it and I asked for an order. They got after 3 weeks just to find another password and another two weeks.
In the end they found nothing.

>sir this is too clean, you must be trying to hide something

so was it a work machine that they cloned, or a machine that you might personally own and then knowingly used for work purposes?

if so, they had every right to force you to comply.

I keep all of my important stuff on my home server anyways, so I can just access it remotely. When I travel I take along a cheap Lenovo or Dell business laptop with a fresh install of Windows Enterprise on it. All they'll find is some work related PDF files, some audio books, and a few wallpapers, and Firefox and Libre Office installed. My wallpaper is an American flag.

This is when you ask them if they've ever heard of a thin client, and then politely explain that you work remotely.

*Proceeds to pull up underwear with right hand*

We have two computers always, our own and the one provided by the company, they got both and both with passwords.

Look up "threat image projection software" by rapiScan. That's how they get around due process while disguising it as training.

hot

i'm gonna need more of her

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

>unlock laptop
>blank screen
>agents can't do shit because they don't know my esoteric key combinations

Set up one now, so you can be sure it'll be ready if/when you need it.

Or you can keep it subtle and tasteful.

why?

Too bad you are in airport security, they have the right to make you bend over and search your anal cavity if they feel like you pose a threat to national security by bringing a bottle of water on an airplane

It's like you've never stepped foot in a federal facility before.

>gee bill
DAD! leave my website alone!

damn that's some orwellian shit

>implying usb devices are auto mounted

the worst they can do is fry my ports.

who dis gurl

So sex games and drugs?

>bringing any electronics through TSA instead of just mailing them

>That looks shady and cheap, like some ay-rab in a cave made it
>I don't understand why you wouldn't use windows or OS X like a normal person
>I've never seen "linux" look like that. I'm going to have to go through some files so I know it's not a fake.
>Sir, did you know that STEALING creative works made by people who are now dead is a CRIME!? You are DENYING their families their HARD...*cringe*..EARNED MONEY.
>We're taking you in
>And stay the fuck off that plane

Has this really happened to anyone on Sup Forums? Do any of you faggots even have jobs/parents/sources of income that you can afford to travel? I've been travelling around the past year to places like Russia, Saudi Arabia, and Switzerland and never has TSA stopped me and asked me to unlock my laptop. Only had some trouble when the faggots that check you back in ask if you bought gifts totalling more than $500.
>me: "no"
>Transportation of Soyboys Administration Agent: "so you didn't buy anything for your wife or kids?"
>"no, it was a business trip."
>"you're gone for a few weeks and you don't get anything for your family?"
>"no." fucking piss off m8
>"ok go on ahead."
>Chief of Soyboy Forefeitures: "SIR, SIR PLEASE STEP OVER HERE I NEED TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS."
>"DO YOU MIND OPENING YOUR LUGGAGE FOR ME?"
Besides that bullshit, I've never had a problem carrying my Linux-installed, Whonix + Tor + cybersecurity software laptop through TSA.

>traveling to police states

(cont.)
I had $2000 US rupees in my wallet and some leftover ecstacy in my backpack which they didn't even bat an eye at. What a joke.

Counterpoint: fuck flying.

Wasn't there a guy who brought like a fuck huge skrewdriver with him on like 20 or 30 flights and only got caught once with it? The TSA is a joke.

Yeah, security theater et al. TSA's been failing Homeland inspections for years now: oig.dhs.gov/taxonomy/term/16

>mails laptop and phone across border
>carries burner phone
sorry, sir, got no electronics on me

that's just about all of them