/brit/

past my bedtime edition

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gf just line'd me this

played on a roleplay server in samp for a bit thinking it would give me a better life, realised after a few days that life in it is shit without friends like in real life and killed myself

>my deadly queen's heart attack
what did he mean by this?

where's the cock

*jumps off a building*

vitamin D dude

>dude
FOY

pretty much

A lot of non whites on Sup Forums, really makes me think

Going to be minding my brother's house for a couple weeks starting tomorrow, it is going to be hard not having a pc, and console right next to each other. Going to have to just entertain myself by doing one thing at once.

yeah like you

*you hear ride of the valkyries growing increasingly louder as i approach your destination on my helicopter*

yeah, people don't seem to realise that you aren't white if you have black hair and/or brown eyes

In the name of God, Glorious and Almighty!


First, if a man come from the west side of the world, as England, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, or Norway, he may, if that he will, go through Almayne and through the kingdom of Hungary, that marcheth to the land of Polayne, and to the land of Pannonia, and so to Silesia.

And the King of Hungary is a great lord and a mighty, and holdeth great lordships and much land in his hand. For he holdeth the kingdom of Hungary, Sclavonia, and of Comania a great part, and of Bulgaria that men call the land of Bougiers. And men go through the land of this lord, through a city that is clept Cypron, and by the castle of Neasburghe, and by the evil town, that sit toward the end of Hungary. And there pass men the river of Danube.

and there pass men a bridge of stone that is upon the river of Marrok. And men pass through the land of Pyncemartz and come to Greece to the city of Nye, and to the city of Fynepape, and after to the city of Dandrenoble, and after to Constantinople, that was wont to be clept Bezanzon. And there dwelleth commonly the Emperor of Greece. And there is the most fair church and the most noble of all the world; and it is of Saint Sophie. And before that church is the image of Justinian the emperor, covered with gold, and he sitteth upon an horse crowned. And he was wont to hold a round apple of gold in his hand: but it is fallen out thereof. And men say there, that it is a token that the emperor hath lost a great part of his lands and of his lordships; for he was wont to be Emperor of Roumania and of Greece, of all Asia the less, and of the land of Syria, of the land of Judea in the which is Jerusalem, and of the land of Egypt, of Persia, and of Arabia. But he hath lost all but Greece; and that land he holds all only. And men would many times put the apple into the image’s hand again, but it will not hold it. This apple betokeneth the lordship that he had over all the world, that is round.

2 house parties literally 5 doors way from each other. And they're both a 2 min walk from my place. Fucking laughing lads

youtube > netflix

prove me wrong

i wont

didnt read any of this

How are they comparable at all?

...

...

read all of this with great interest

i can't improve myself without approaching normieness

>God
Stopped reading

Video streaming

everyone i interact with hates me after a small period of time

du du dudu du duu du dudu du duuuuu du dudu du duu dududuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

...

Smeared Vaseline all over my face and I don't exactly know why.

Hey brit, does anyone of you have a scribd account? I am dying to read this book fr.scribd.com/book/319506283/Dreamstate-A-Conspiracy-Theory
Excellent author btw, I've read all his other stuff
Could anyone please download and share? I am too poor to buy it :(

Yeah but one is for purely mindless entertainment and the other is for pretty much anything.

me>you

had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.

i see my extreme low-frequency wave transmission has yielded results

Let's hit em all right now, while we still got the muscle

Can't wait to see how this goes

you>me

>had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.

From the travels of Sir John Mandeville, 1300s

At Constantinople is the cross of our Lord Jesu Christ, and his coat without seams, that is clept Tunica inconsutilis, and the sponge, and the reed, of the which the Jews gave our Lord eysell and gall, in the cross. And there is one of the nails, that Christ was nailed with on the cross.And some men trow that half the cross, that Christ was done on, be in Cyprus, in an abbey of monks, that men call the Hill of the Holy Cross; but it is not so. For that cross that is in Cyprus, is the cross, in the which Dismas the good thief was hanged on. But all men know not that; and that is evil y-done. For for profit of the offering, they say that it is the cross of our Lord Jesu Christ.

And the Christian men, that dwell beyond the sea, in Greece, say that the tree of the cross, that we call cypress, was of that tree that Adam ate the apple off

This holy cross had the Jews hid in the earth, under a rock of the mount of Calvary; and it lay there two hundred year and more, into the time that St. Helen, that was mother to Constantine the Emperor of Rome. And she was daughter of King Coel, born in Colchester, that was King of England

And one part of the crown of our Lord, wherewith he was crowned, and one of the nails, and the spear head, and many other relics be in France, in the king’s chapel. And the crown lieth in a vessel of crystal richly dight. For a king of France bought these relics some time of the Jews, to whom the emperor had laid them in wed for a great sum of silver.

pomf =3

can you actually get a ticket for doing 1mph over the limit in the US? over here we generally have a 10%+2 rule so you have to be going over 35 in a 30 zone, 46 in a 40 zone etc

i would have slaughtered you if my handler wasn't keeping me on a short leash

WOULD YOU FUCK ME FOR FREEEEEEEEE

did we ever find out who was phone?

>The night of the Twenty Third of June, in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Sixteen Anno Domini

THIS IS PEQUOD ARRIVING SHORTLY AT LZ

i'm sure you wont mind if we take a quick look around

hand hook car door

On india and china

In Ind and about Ind be more than 5000 isles good and great that men dwell in, without those that he inhabitable, and without other small isles. In every isle is great plenty of cities, and of towns, and of folk without number. For p. 109men of Ind have this condition of kind, that they never go out of their own country, and therefore is there great multitude of people. But they be not stirring ne movable, because that they be in the first climate, that is of Saturn; and Saturn is slow and little moving, for he tarryeth to make his turn by the twelve signs thirty year. And the moon passeth through the twelve signs in one month. And for because that Saturn is of so late stirring, therefore the folk of that country that be under his climate have of kind no will for to move ne stir to seek strange places. And in our country [ENGLAND] is all the contrary; for we be in the seventh climate, that is of the moon. And the moon is of lightly moving, and the moon is planet of way; and for that skill it giveth us will of kind for to move lightly and for to go divers ways, and to seek strange things and other diversities of the world; for the moon environeth the earth more hastily than any other planet.

In that country and in Ethiopia, and in many other countries, the folk lie all naked in rivers and waters, men and women together, from undern of the day till it be past the noon. And they lie all in the water, save the visage, for the great heat that there is.

From that isle men go by sea to another isle that is clept China, where is great plenty of corn and wine. And it was wont to be a great isle, and a great haven and a good; but the sea hath greatly wasted it and overcome it. The king of that country is to be so strong and so mighty.

The folk of that country have a diverse law. For some of them worship the sun, some the moon, some the fire, some trees, some serpents, or the first thing that they meet at morrow.

RIP morpho you were taken from us too soon

I'm having a cup of tea at 8pm

might do a wank

might not

might go to bed

might not

dunno

it's 12:20 you cunt

Best dip for doritos lads?

who /WANC/
[White Anglo-Norman Catholic]

whipped cream

it's a meme you dip

>dipping doridos
they're so flimsy though
best are those lime nachos or the rolled up tube ones

unironically sour cream. give it a go, especially with the spicy ones.

i want to go downstairs and brew up but mummy and daddy might wake up

flaming hot cilantro salsa

*sperms*

why do brits do some metric/some imperial

why not pick a side?

earlier whilst running down the stairs for some reason i decided to jump the last 3 steps and smashed my head against the sloped ceiling above the stairs. i landed with full force on my back against the bottom steps and the wooden floor. i now have a huge lump on my head and mild back pain, but otherwise feel totally fine. should i go to a hospital?

tfw no wife gf

I like Celsius for outside temperature since negative = chilly

>the next metal gear game will be a zombie survival shooter
are you fucking kidding me

probably won't be necessary
do you feel nauseous?

naw take a nap and sleep it off, best thing to do after hitting your head hard.

hit the other side to reverse it

go if you're worried about it, probably wont need it though

also i've always had a fear of hitting the bit above the stairs so i've never jumped down, i'm laughing at the thought of you doing it, fucking quality

>temperature is literally the measurement of energy in a system
>negative energy

alright Cornelius

by sea, is a great isle and a great country that men call Java. And the king of that country is a full great lord and a rich and a mighty, and hath under him seven other kings of seven other isles about him. This isle is full well inhabited, and full well manned. There grow all manner of spicery, more plenteously than in any other country. For of all things is there plenty, save only of wine. But there is gold and silver, great plenty. And the king of that country hath a palace full noble and full marvellous, and more rich than any in the world.
And wit well, that the king of that isle is so mighty, that he hath many times overcome the great Chan of China in battle, that is the most great emperor that is under the firmament either beyond the sea or on this half. For they have had often-time war between them, because that the great China would constrain him to hold his land of him; but that other at all times defendeth him well against him.

And there be other trees that bear honey good and sweet, and other trees that bear venom. Of this venom the Jews had let seek of one of their friends for to empoison all Christianity, as I have heard them say in their confession before their dying: but thanked be Almighty God! they failed of their purpose.

And the king of that country hath as many wives as he will. For he maketh search all the country to get him the fairest maidens that may be found. And he taketh one one night, and another another night, and so forth continually suing; so that he hath a thousand wives or more. And he lieth never but one night. And he hath also into a 14,000 elephants or more that he maketh for to be brought up amongst his villains. The king of that isle is full rich and full mighty and right devout after his law. And he hath about his neck 300 pearls orient.

no i feel fine it's just the massive lump i'm worried about

>laughing at my head injury

bad lad

alright Cornelius

can't help it, its like something you'd see in a fucking cartoon

Saw an actual real life piccaninny in Tim's today, and he had a fat tattooed white girl in tow. Turns out the memes are real.

well i'm going to bed now and if i die from horrific brain injury i hope you're happy. although admittedly i smashed my head like 3 hours ago and feel ok so it's unlikely

WHO TF UP????

what

face.... off

A picaninny is a black child

He misused it to describe a black man

night lad, don't bounce on the bed when you wake up and crack your skull open on the roof

>english is lingua FRANCA
france cucked again

alri skull face haha

face... ...off?

THIS IS A /BRIT/ THREAD

my balls

...

yes, his face... off

Any of you lads have pics of your local?

I wanna know where /brit/ drinks

My basement, I rarely go to the pub

>tfw no chink gf

Basement pics?

i dont leave the house except to go shopping

On the very rare occasion when I do drink I usually go to pic related

got into a scrap last time i was there

What's on tap?

Is that bad?