/brit/

I play my enemies like a game of chess
Where I rest, no stress, if you don't smoke sess
Lest I must confess, my destiny's manifest
In some Goretex and sweats
I make treks like I'm homeless
Rap orgies with Porgy and Bess
Capture your bounty, like Elliot Ness, yes
Bless you if you represent the Fu
But I'll hex you with some witch's brew if you're doo-doo
Voodoo; I can do what you do, easy
Believe me, fronting niggas give me heebie-jeebies
So while you're imitating Al Capone
I'll be Nina Simone, and defecating on your microphone

edition

Can some bongs help meake Webms of this

...

Nah fuck you buddy, /brit/ is pure stop shitting it up with your bull-ish

I wanna thank all the British SAS dying by the second for us
thanks, we will repay you by burning your flag

Any of you lads wet the bed?

I never wet the bed as a child but since the age of 14 I wet the bed like once a year and it really fucking pisses me off.

It's not regular enough for me to be able to do anything about it but it just happens randomly.

Sam thing every time, I dream I'm taking a piss then actually piss.

really got the ol' neurons firing

Wew lads had like 3 hours sleep
Got fucking mandied to fuck last night

get a load of this guy haha

You are wetting the bed because you want to have sex with your mother and kill your father

t. Sigmund Freud

you've asked this twice now and fucked up your spelling in both posts. so i'm not going to help you.

try to go to the toilet and piss everytime before going to bed

Stop indulging in intoxicants they ruin the body and the mind

I don't get drunk enough to piss myself anymore

I did it once when i was 14 or so, it was pretty weird because in my dream i was riding a car and suddenly holiday by green day starts playing while a warm sensation spreads in my nether parts, when i came to my senses the deed was already done.
But never again since that time.

Yes sir

Good lad

Now start lifting and eating right

...

how much do you lads have in savings?

Am I fucked if I'm 22 with no savings?

Gonna confess to something. One night me and my gf were in a really silly mood and I ended up pissing on her while she masturbated, but I mean like all over her including her face. Is that bad?

I do eat right, kinda, just need to start lifting desu

I'm still on it now lad

>Am I fucked if I'm 22 with no savings?
no,do start though if you can afford it. the older you get the more expenses you have up to a point.

Around 7 million pesos, which would be like £1300 or so

I had 12k euros 9 months ago
but i've been a neet for 9 months so I'm probably at 2500 euro max now

rent and shit doesn't come cheap

What's Colombia like to visit lad?

As a foreigner will I get kidknapped or anything?

It looks beautiful but I hear there's lots of crime and some Colombian qts come to study at my university and my heart had palpitations everytime I saw one of them, she was literally supermodel tier.

I hate the French language, they all sound like they have potatoes in their mouths and they're more arrogant then even the snootiest Englishmen.

Just fainted after getting up

If you have takeaways more than once a week that's too much

good morning lads. even the yanks; good morning.

Sounds like you two runts are equally depraved. Cherish her.

thats fucking hot

i once did that on purpose and woke up covered in blood and pee

No just save like crazy when you finally get a job
Start out by putting away £1000 as your emergency fund ofc build this up by setting aside a certain percentage of your paycheck every time
It is not to be touched except in case of emergency
Then build up your emergency fund up to cover 6 months worth of expenses
After that start investing in whatever retirement vehicles you have over there

It's important to go out and have fun with the lads but do it on the cheap

bet she got all pissy honhonhon

>ducks make the sound "quack quack"
>french say ducks make the sound "coin coin"

Boggling

Good advice.

I have like 2k in a h2b isa and 1.5k in a savings account.

I don't even treat it as money I own, I just think of it as lost money.

Was it that fainting challenge? I did when I was 15 and knocked my head on the counter

please respond

Lad, Russians think pigs go 'khrue khrue'

they do say coin coin
clean your ears mate

noting wrong blud

>British woman raped before being killed for 'honour' in Pakistan

ah yes, so-called "honour"

no it was so i could wag school and i spent the day in a hospital bed on anaesthetic it was so comfy

Those ideas are from Dave Ramsey he's definitely worth checking out he does videos podcasts articles the works and it's all free

He's the GOAT when it comes to financial advice for the average man and he's /biz/ approved

>he doesn't honor-rape

fucking scandicucks i swear

y'all is whack ass niggas

FOY

bitch ass punk ass whack ass nigga

my dick hurts from wanking to child pornography so much

Bit weird m8

doing some recording today lads. cba desu

*puts the yanks to bed*
*wakes up the brits*
morning sweetie :)
time for /brit/, you don't want to be late

*puts the yanks into the fucking ground*

why the fuck are there so many aussies on at all times of the day? serious question, not even trying to meme

Feel like the Aussies failed to control the yankrunts last night.

Need to take your guardianship seriously or else we'll have to look for other tard wranglers.

*rises anew*

alri

there's nothing to do in australia else than get drunk, shoot kangz or shitpost

>shoot anyone
>in Australia

Good one m8

They're only allowed to own air rifles that they have to keep in lockers at air gun clubs

Unemployment, and it's 5 pm on a Sunday which is pretty reasonable shitposting hours

Is vagina dentata a real thing?

can't even shoot kangaroos anymore either

yes

t. know a lad who had sex once and now he's got no willy

don't think i ever finished teeth lads.
wasn't a very interesting film

Do any of you lads like to fish?

It's my favourite outdoor activity and I go almost every day

cara 2bh lads

>he thinks there's gun control in the boonies

m8

>ywn enact wake in fright in your lifetime

m8 i...

This 2bh

Umm laws applies to everyone sweetie x

bit of a munter 2bh
aim higher lad

just had another wank to child pornography

not really 2bh

NEED a gf just like this t b h

If I ever got one like her I would marry her

tell that to your mum i slayed her pussy

not really enjoying these to be honest...

Don't have a mum I'm a test tube baby

>Do any of you lads like to fish?
>
>It's my favourite outdoor activity and I go almost every day

I refuse to stand for the national anthem because I will not support a country where whites are the minority in basketball. I will not stand for his blatant instititional racism

fishing is probably the least fedora activity out there

>tfw no bf

pretty gay m8

>I post greentext accompanied by images of young males wearing fedoras

Black

Lives

Matter

I wont respect the anthem till Churchill apologises for Dresden.

no bully pls

stop killing the mandem

>having a minority represent a majority is fine
>having a minority of a minority represented is racism
>second sentence probably made zero sense but I hope you get my point anyway

Everybody Uno
Everybody play
you might get no cards
you might get eight

Hello my crops.

Harvest time soon....

Fuck me sideways, i was stomping cunts the other day on sf5 and now im being played like mandolin, wtf happened?

I unironically own a straw fedora but it looks a lot better than that one

It's great for hot weather and not autistic like felt fedoras or whatever else they're made out of

I once got arrested b a police officer for doing something illegal. Apparently some other white guy got arrested the other day too.
This can no longer stand.

Fuck the queen, fuck this country. I'm starting an organisation and we won't rest until we are allowed to do whatever we want without punishment, where the government give us everything we want for free, and where if anything inconvenient happens to us, we will riot and protest until nothing bad can ever happen to us ever again.

W H I T E
P O W E R

>playing video games

third eye status: stuck in a bog

alri radcliffe

Doing a poo lads

Not a single letter of this graced my optic nerve

Self destruct activated
this sequence cannot be aborted

Oh la de da you are so important and superior that being looked at by you is a grace and a privilege.

I've got news for you, buddy. You are nothing. You are a pathetic insignificant speck. You melon, you worm, you absolute spanner.

>I unironically own a straw fedora but it looks a lot better than that one

>It's great for hot weather and not autistic like felt fedoras or whatever else they're made out of

There's only one breakfast worth of a good man. You see, too many people try to impress each other with rare coffees, exotic teas, cocoas from beyond the ocean, and go in too many detail on the various ways of maturing, refining, smoking and brewing them. I myself have thought long and hard to find the true gentlemanly breakfast; it had to be something noble, light on the stomach, easily gulped down before a healthy morning jog. And then it hit me. I had the butler get my tools from the small clock shop I own and work at as a past time, when my military comission in the queen's own doesn't keep me busy, and in the vast dining room, lined with portraits of the lords and ladies of my line, clever-eyed ancesters of proud bearing, I was immediately hard at work. I had the stable boys help the mechanic dissasemble a derelict machine I had left in the old lace workshop, a beached monstruosity of black iron, while the dining table made for some fine firewood and gave me the space I needed. For days, I took no respite, the dining room was unrecognizable; a thick black smoke held on to the ceiling like an otherwordly alguae would in an underwater cave, constantly sucked in large metallic pipes by an airpump I had solid lads constantly manning, around the clock, lest everything would be swallowed and myself found gasping for air. I was screwing, wrenching, soldering, jointing, broaching, casting, using cores and counterboring, making minute adjustments of flanges, dies, coupling, gages, as well as losing myself in the back breaking hauling in place of the various pieces, gears, pinions, chains, and of the heavyset simpler parts needed for structural integrity. At last I had done it, it was achieved. I slept. When I woke up, it was time for breakfast. I flicked the switch of the machine. Propelled by forces unseen, a cast iron mace surged, clouting me square in the gonads. I uttered 'true gentleman's breakfast' and reached again for the switch with a trembling hand.

My son was 8 months when I lost track
And he'll be damn near 4 when I get back
And if do see him then
Will he know I his father or think I'm a strange man
Sometimes I say he'll remember me
But if I ask: 'Come here, bean!', will he answer me?
I guess this I never know
Until I get out in 1994...