Who else here feel like a programmer impostor?

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I do.
Everyone else is really bad.

So I guess you're a woman?

nope

I feel

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A tranny?

neither

Seriously, why is this?

I did my first three months on the job. Then I realized that I was better than any of my contemporaries.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

I get this way when I look at the accomplishments of programmers who greatly exceed my capabilities. Yesterday I was looking at the commit history of Dolphin, and just wow. Those guys are good. They work at such a feverish pace and crank out some seriously fast and high quality code. My projects feel so insignificant in comparison.

But just because you aren't Bach doesn't mean you can't make good music. It's not useful to compare yourself to the top 0.001% achievers and declare yourself a failure or fraud. You should instead look on what you can do, what you can almost do, and just keep pushing the bar up. Getting paralyzed doesn't help you.

You aren't an imposter, you're just self-aware. Use that to your advantage and improve.

I know how you feel.

I'm seriously ashamed of some code I wrote in the past. It feels like I'm just playing with Lego compared to real programmers.

The comforting thought here is that even if you're a "10x" or "100x" engineer with top tier talent. You wont be paid 10x or 100x more than a typical dev.

The engineer at Apple who designs the antenna they use in their iPhones makes more than the CEO. He is a world class expert, and if he walks, they'd have to license his new designs as he improves them or outright buy each version. This is why he's paid so much. There are a handful of employees out there that are infinitely valuable.

Of course, that list is small enough to fit on a piece of printer paper. Personally, I find this really relieving. I don't feel stressed about needing to be the best. It keeps my analysis paralysis at bay.

>> being a top tier engineer
>> being 'ipaid' and not having own company/successful projects

Wot?

Yes.

I don't right unit tests, I don't even understand test-driven development, dependency management, or the purpose of TEST in multi-environment development. I don't even like computers.

I used to, OP, then I found out most of my peers are hilariously incompetent and can't perform at the level I would expect out of a fresh CS grad - let alone someone with 10+ yrs experience.

Not true at a certain threshold of skill, though the number of engineers who have that kind of valuation is very small (probably less than 1000).

Being a talented engineer is not the same thing as wanting to, or being capable of, running your own company or successfully managing a project on your own.

Maybe you're just being confused by terminology, not concepts? Those are all very simple ideas, consistently executing on them is the hard part.

>1M salary
>Designs "you're holding it wrong" tier antennas
>Can't be fired because he's more important than the CEO
???

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He was headhunted into their R&D division right after that fiasco that required those dumb speck cases

I've recently started doing my first internship at a big company at nearly 30. I never worked so far and have mediocre grades. I've always been afraid of not being good enough but apparently I'm not as bad as I always thought. It feels damn good. I really want to do my best now.

>Being a talented engineer is not the same thing as wanting to, or being capable of, running your own company or successfully managing a project on your own.

Stop wasting time and energy stating obvious facts. Of course they're separate things,

However, any truly talented engineer would have no reason whatsoever to rely on some schmuck company to give them a salary to live on. With that kind of talent they can figure something better out. Remember - engineers are PROBLEM SOLVERS. Relying on a shit company for a shit wage is a potential PROBLEM.

Besides, if you don't have that kind of drive in the first place, why bother even becoming an engineer? That just sounds boring and lame.

Low self efficacy can be a strong symptom of higher competency. Keep giving it everything, user!

Well that's one hell of a negotiation position. You gotta be going into that knowing the company is basically giving you anything you want if you can make sure shit like that never happens again.

Just try to improve yourself. You shouldn't compare yourself to others. I compare what I did this year with what I did when I first started and I can see a huge improvement.

It does also help when your boss tells you that you're the best on staff, but like said in I don't get paid much more than the other idiots he complains to me about all the time.

Yeah. But he's so well known (in the industry) that everyone knows he's the best anyway and he gets what he wants wherever he goes.

He's under NDA and Apple keeps really quiet about him to avoid headhunting attempts.

Wednesday hasn't changed much over the years it seems.

Self-improvement is a personal journey comparing yourself to others is a waste of time.

It only makes sense in a competitive rivalry and that person or persons is always going to be someone within the reach of your own ability.

Did you think the ugly fuck on the right became an eccentric billionaire by moping over how much wealthier Gates and Jobs were?

Just make yourself useful it's not that hard. Sup Forums apathy, insecurity and spitefulness is not the way of the real world - believe it or not

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I'm not even a dev, I barely know how to program, so.. no, I don't feel like that

I'll do my best. I seems really weird to me that this company keeps talking about keeping me after my thesis and shit. I've been a pretty much neet with no real skills and now this. But i will take this chance.

I'm still new at my job and I feel almost incompetent sometimes but I get done what I'm assigned, sometimes I need help sometimes I don't, our repo is over 50GB so there's a lot of code to it and majority of people Only know a small portion of it anyways

>our repo is over 50GB
>majority of people Only know a small portion of it anyways


kek

i feel that most programmers are shit, myself included, so it's why i decided to get into the sec field instead of some other thing.
it's not getting better so there is job security built in. just gotta get my foot in the door.

>our repo is over 50GB
zucc pls

I want to lick her legs

That's too big. What the hell are you doing, checking in compiled assets? Including 4k 60fps video of developers literally jerking off?

>Did you think the ugly fuck on the right became an eccentric billionaire by moping over how much wealthier Gates and Jobs were?
he became a billionaire thanks to his intellect. that doesn't mean OP will become one if he stops thinking about gates' wealth.

billions of lines of unrolled loops

>her

On some level I think my massive insecurity about almost every element of my being is the only thing that keeps me in a state of perpetual self-improvement.

I do and I am an imposter, i've accepted it. I want to accept that I'll never improve. I don't even compare myself to others but i'm very self critical. Literally my own worst critic, blaming myself for things that I shouldn't be. I know it's an illogical way of thinking but i'm powerless to stop it. I also can't accept a compliment so other people can't make me feel better. I'm about to start a job in a couple of weeks that I am no doubt unqualified for.
There was a time where I felt genuinely happy about a project that I worked on. It was a bot to play a two player board game and I didn't even finish it. That was the first time in my life where I was actually proud of something that I've created. I don't think i'll ever feel like that again but it doesn't matter. I like programming even if i'm shit at it.
thanks for reading my blog

I'm a design engineer
Feel like a failure everyday
Feel like i dont deserve this job/salary
Don't know how i made it this far

Feel like i need to be let go, and I'm even becoming lazy now

My insecurity stops me from self improvement so when I fail at something I just want to give up.

not the same

have some class

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Any advice as to how to get a programming job of some kind?

50gb?? what are you working on??

cmon dude that can't be a trap