/brit/

GAS
THE
TAIGS
lads
edition

/brit/ more like /shit/ lmao

lmoa

my favourite commie slag is tweeting a lot tonight

want to go shops but i shouldn't because i'll just buy sugary shite

and that's it?

LOL

>Gf just sent me a message where she spelt tortured 'torchered'

Should I bin her??

rolf

>end of year review coming up at work
>do absolutely NOTHING more than show up every day, do my work and leave

What more can I say besides "I am a reliant, responsible, dependable employee"?

It's a load of shit; having to submit a 10-page essay on how I've been a good goy and I deserve the privilege of working under Mr Noseberg for another year.

dead uncle

YOU
NEED
A
FREAK
LIKE
ME
TO
MAKE
LOVE
TO
YOUR
BODY

really made me noodle my noggin

>on bus today
>Minding my own business
>Suddenly a man approaches me and calls me a dirty paki wanker
>Tells me I'm finished now that trump has been elected and brexit happened.
>Begins attacking me
>Overpower the disgusting racist easily
>Restrain him, careful not to injure him like the gentleman I am
>People slowly begin clapping
>Qt blonde approaches me
>"You're so brave!"
*Begins feeling my muscular bicep*
>"I'm just doing what anyone would have done"

So so sorry

Which one la?

>gf just sent me a message
And that's it?

How can anyone be against the Kurds

can't honestly expect me to be reading these lads

The John Lewis Christmas advert is shit and has a black family how diverse.

How come pakis never get mad that they're on TV less than black people when there's loads more of them?

aiesha

>Have a genuinely good quarter at work
>Got thank you emails from senior people and the chief executive in a company of over 10k people saying how good my work was
>Get ready to go in and justify why I think I should get the maximum bonus
>Before I start speaking my boss tells me he's letting me go

Howling desu

>20 years old
>suddenly started having really bad nightmares
>always starts the same, I'm in a room in my dads old house
>light turns off
>feel a person in the room
>they grab me
>start screaming
>they hold me down and rape the shit out of me while covering my mouth
>goes on for what feels like hours
>eventually wake up

What are you supposed to when this happens lads?

It was so real i checked my bumhole for spunk when I woke up.

>falling for the kurd propaganda

A resurrected Lenin

are those real army girls

m-muh heart

take these words home and think it through
or the next post I make might be about (You)

Kurds more like TURDS lmao praise Allah

>wonder why there isn't more amusement at Donald Fart becoming US president
>find out using the term 'trump' to mean fart is a regional thing and not national

Do you use the word trump to mean fart? Is it a midland thing?

>

norwegian girl broke my heart, ruined my life, and gave me depression

so what is it?

hello turk

Easy. There was some thin-skinned poof on here earlier that cries at JL adverts and gets angry when you mock him

the ironic thing about them is that they're infighting is a major obstacle to getting a nation statehood.

whenever they get a small leg up, they succumb to shitty inhouse dispute. just as inept as the palestinians lmao

Very close to filtering mickland

My dad honestly calls it pipping off.

When I said it for the first time outside my house my mates looked at me like I was off my face on 12 pints and unknown pills.

Thanks a lot, dad.

nice cognitive dissonance

you were roofied

>things that happened

haha

i've heard it but i think it's a stupid word for it

we say pimp 2bh . another word that doesn't translate into american. but fart is universal now

*TRUUUUUUUUMP*
Oh, excuse me lads

kanye will win 2020

america is a reality show

Commies
Feminists
Muslims, but not even the cool kind
Beloved by lefties
ISIS make much better videos and nasheeds
Were actually getting destroyed by ISIS until the USAF became their personal airforce, now they're cocky as fuck

Could go on

Can someone post the image

>and thats it?
>so so sorry

>not realising that Nordic people look down on Brits
Just stay away from them lad

never heard of anything like this
where the fuck do you work lad

your posts have to be below a 10 word limit for me to read them, even then there's little chance I will, didn't even read this post

Hello I'm President *prrtt* Fart

>My dad
is he hot?

does she own any Norwegian wooden furniture?

support, make official rule please

llf

>infighting

They aren't the rebels

>20,000 word essay due in 15 hours
I'm fucked lads

Doing a Protestant lads

Confronted a racist visible Trump supporter today I asked him how he could allow such a horrible bigoted rapist molest American democracy and that the senate would never stand for this. He just laughed at me and mansplained "we are the senate!"

he threw me to the ground attempting to rape me, but I pushed him off and sprayed him with my pocket mace. He just took a step back, wiping his eyes and calmly said "its treason then" while unzipping his dick. Next thing I knew he was flying through the air at me, spinning cock first!

I barely made it out alive. just a note to you fucking racists! this cannot be allowed

#100%RealTrumpStories
#STOPTRUMP

Donald J. Trump, who earlier in the week said he was open to requiring Muslims in the United States to register in a database, said on Thursday night that he “would certainly implement that — absolutely.”

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

what do your parents do lads? need some inspiration for when i become a parent

how would anyone fall for the nordic girl meme
fucking pathetic haha

cant read lad

just got the new bank card

>girl at uni
>she's very cute & very shy
>we're both shy, so it's difficult for us to get comfortable with each other
>i'm making gradual progress, we should be able to talk to each other without us both being awkward soon
>there's 2 lads, but 1 lad in particular is "orbiting" her
>she's too shy and polite to tell them to fuck off

What do I do lads? How do I attempt to steal this orbiters fair maiden without triggering their autism? I don't want to deal with salty autists for the next 4 years

john lewis advert is shite lads.

they're trying too hard to recreate emotion from the early ones but everyone still buys it because they need something to make them FEEEL

call centre

Ketamine

very close to crashing this thread

its gonna be yuge, the best you've ever seen

got a £20 musclefood voucher for some reason

what should i buy

>Did my dissertation on the last night
>Literally started hallucinating as I was writing it, kept thinking I was seeing friends in the library
>Passed out on the library couch
>Cleaners woke me up hoovering around me
>Handed it in
>Went home to bed
>Didn't get up for about three days

Very, very bad memories

literally an executive for a fortune 500 company

Trump is literally Hitler, even before he assumed office.

YAASSSSSSSSSS :3

...

Alpha up and scare him away

Hmm not much British culture being discussed in this thread

real billionaires pay for everything in loose change

>Commies
>Feminists
>Beloved by lefties
But that's good

I hate this shit.

>Omg this corporate message that is over produced is so Christmas like, I love it XD

In reality you're just the 3rd orbiter

Think of talking points and FUCKING TALK TO HER

might project on one of you lot tonight so be careful

Smeg on my head.

I will not have empathy for Trump voters as they had none for me. They voted to strip people like me of basic human rights.

Dad sells avon

the queen used to give money to protestants for being protestants. no wonder

fuck off matty you big loser

didnt ask you did i

10 berry nettos

oh who gives a wank honestly do it itll be funny what are they gunner do fight you? lol heres an idea just fight them and make em look like prats, girls dont like prats believe me not once theyve left secondary school and arent well poor or retarded

My mum banned me from video games, internet and TV for 14 years. Was only allowed to watch a selection of about 10 films, repeatedly.

Worked desu, I was very successful. I have absolutely no self-control as a result though.

...

hmm perhaps some muscle food

Gather round and I'll tell ye a tale

>mate meets Norwegian girl in WoW guild
>he goes to see her in Norway a few times
>she comes over here
>says he's going to move to Norway
>don't believe
>actually does move there
>can't speak Norwegian and has no qualifications or useful experience
>has a few grand saved up
>sits on his arse playing wow every day living with his gf
>goes to a Norwegian course once a week but it's full of Syrian refugees
>stops going to course
>is there about 6 months
>says he's going to marry her (basically so he can stay there forever)
>gets married
>continues to sit on his arse doing literally nothing

Genuinely no idea what she sees in him or how she can be okay with him being a NEET whilst she works. Admittedly he's still got money, but once that runs out he'll be leeching off her for everything.

things that didn't happen

why the fuck did you leave it until the last night

>walking down highstreet today
>See a woman accosted by 2 white men
>"Why don't you go back to where you came from stupid paki? Brexit and trump happened"
>"Haha yeah before you go I want to rape you though"
>Intervene
>They get scared and run off
Very worried about the direction this country is headed desu lads

didn't read a single word

Eat shit

Shan't be reading one word of this compendium of bullshit

read all of this with no regrets