Attempt II

Welcome to the dark art of social manipulation. You get a thick, big and strong erection when you see a naked women. Likewise, you can get popular if you push people's emotional buttons just right. When you get people to like you, you get free drinks, easy job promotions and more dates.

The social game is strategic. Unfortunately nobody taught you this in school; you learned by trial and error. The popular kids in high school "gets it". In the working world, those with better social skills will get better jobs and easier promotions even if they're below average skilled, ie the scheming Jew becomes the CEO through social connections or the incompetent secretary who got the promotion by sucking over 9000 dicks.

Here are the strategies you want to follow.

1. Show, don't tell. Never brag about your accomplishments or drop names. Instead, let people see your accomplishments on Linkin or your vacation pictures on Instagram. People are noisy, voyeuristic creatures who love snooping - that's why the best selling magazines of all times are celebrity gossip magazines. People are more infinitely more impressed when they "spied" on your vacation via Instagram than you outright bragging about your vacation. Better yet, let others brag about your vacation.

2. Praise people. How do you come across as sincere even if you have seething contempt for them? Praise occasionally. "Nice haircut! Did you lose weight? You look good today etc." Some people fall into the trap and overly praise which makes the compliment seem insincere. You'll get an intuitive feel when to praise without crossing the line. Praise everyone, even the obnoxious cunt at the office - you want her to be on your side? Why? Because even plebs in numbers can wield power, ie fat tumblrsettes and keyboard social justice warriors. When you help the weak, old and young, people will immediately like you. Politicians know this, hence kissing the baby on every televised election.

3. Have Patrick Batemen tier level of hygiene, dress style and fitness. People subconsciously want to associate with winners. After all nobody respects a fat slob with bitch tits. Since you have the discipline and will power to dress well with impeccable hygiene, what other amazing things you have in your life, they wonder. Curiosity will drive them to WANT to be your friend. It's no secret that people judge by appearance - use this to your advantage.

4. Develop a caricature version of yourself. People get famous on TV by playing a role - David Rempsey is famous for throwing a tantrum, PieDiePew is famous for screaming at the screen like a autistic (he made $7 millions off youtube last year), Simons from American Idol is famous for making mean comments at bad contestants. You can make yourself known as the "funny and intelligent guy" or "the guy who travels the world" or "the guy who is popular with the ladies" The worse thing you can is the boring nobody. Never express your insecurities and fears. Let people see the caricature you.

5. Send them a happy birthday card and New Year card, via email or post card. Create a template for your class mates or co-workers to save time. Something like "It's been a pleasure working with you. Who's awesome? You're awesome. I wish you the best of luck and make this an amazing year. See you at work tomorrow!"

6. Got an invitation? Turn them down. Since normies are boring, you want to strategically hang out with them. For every 2 invites the send, turn down one. This implies you're a busy person who values your time and hence, people will treat you with respect. All of this is done without saying a word.

7. Only say positive or neutral things about people. Never gossip, even if you have seething contempt for them. It's easy to talk behind a co-worker's back. But the person you're gossiping with thinks you talk shit about him also. Remain neutral on the topic, even if you have a strong opinion.

8. Your time has high value. Never get used by people who repeatedly ask you for requests but give no value in return. Turn them down by saying no. Tell them you're not an expert in this subject matter. Never ever waste your time with a fucking pleb. Occasionally you'll come across an idiot - never argue or pick a fight. Nod your head, smile and locate the nearest exit.

9. Appear to have no agenda, even if you have one. People have a hard time buying from a sale man but an easy time buying from a friend. You want to come across as genuine and sincere. Don't try too hard to offer help or freely give people things (remember the try hard kid in class who always raise his hand first or brown nose the teacher by offering help?) Be selective in giving your time, money and praises. Strange fact in life: the more you give people free stuff/time/effort, the more likely they are to abuse you.

[[[response]]]

You should measure shoulders/hip not shoulders/waist. That is what defines aesthetics and you would see the golden ratio of ~1.6 on most of those guys

respond to the thread topic you fucking fingolian

1.9 is the cutoff for still looking human. The dudes >2.00 look like freaks.

Fuck yoou you're thread a shit.

>Sup Forums, international discussion

[muffled CHEEAAAATTTT in the distance]

ye sorry it's not a "how can i get a nigger gf?" thread for the 1500th time this week.

Maybe would be more intellecutally stimulating to post ">BE AMERICAN >SHART IN MART LOLOLOL XDDDD HAHAHAHA XDDD LOL LMFAOO"

some points are good, the first one is 100% true, rest is hit or miss with lot of bullshit

for this reason, I give you the

good thread™

stamp of approval.

If my caricature of myself is "the guy who goes with the flow" then wouldn't that disqualify me of most of these points?

Ah m8, now you dropped out of character. Stay neutral even if you have a strong opinion, remember?

You sound like a woman.
Fuck off

filthy
dumb
maplenigger
scum

How does that sound anything like a woman?

We /COSMOPOLITAN/ nao?

Who would want to be this fake, leaf?

Someone who doesn't want to be a neet loser

Probably not you though. There's nothing "fake" about learning how social interaction works.

>How do you come across as sincere even if you have seething contempt for them?
>Develop a caricature version of yourself.
>Send them a happy birthday card and New Year card, via email or post card. Create a template for your class mates or co-workers to save time.

What you're describing is a miserable existence, leaf.

Yeah much better to be a NEET like you instead of understanding how people think and work in order to achieve a desired outcome.

Literally what's wrong with it?

Donald Trump has developed a caricature version of himself. Pretty much every personality has.

>Send them a birthday card
It's a little thing that goes a long way.

To you it's nothing to spend 5 minutes writing "Happy birthday! Thanks for being the great coworker someone could ever ask for, hope you have many more happy years!", but it makes me people feel appreciated and happy. Even if it's insincere.

Your inability to understand this suggests you belong on or maybe some other forum of bitter social outcasts.

>create a template

Just be heartfelt and thoughtful you autist, how hard is that?

Go back to /r9k/, this content overwhelms you

A MOTHERFUCKING LEAF

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You should create a spreadsheet that outlines all of your possible social interactions for the day so you can maximize your potential deceptive power. Alongside each one make sure you note down whatever agenda you have for each person in your social network so that you can track your progress accurately. And don't forget the threat matrix that outlines which people are most likely to see through your facade!

good post, really constructive. Thanks for this

LMAO this thread reeks of Art of Manliness or some other faggot ass bullshit. Fun fact, only losers read this shit. Actual successful people know this intuitively or just got lucky

Good refutation to literally any of the ideas presented

Well done. Why is Sup Forums literally the lowest IQ board on Sup Forums?

1. Be born with good genes

that's it, sorry, lmao

...

Because you're dragging the average down, leaf.

>he's european
>he doesn't have good genes
Lmoa get a load of this poorturetard here

Even the normies I know don't act like this
I think the only autistic one here is you

I've created a constructive thread that helps people understand social dynamics amidst dozens of "TFW NO GF", "How do i get a gf", and other whiny /r9k/ shit

And it's quite telling how no one has anything constructive to add, or even appreciate the information

social manipulation is for morally bankrupt dramaqueens and sociopaths

it's fucking disgusting, I've met people like that irl and they're just assholes, once you see through their act you just quit hanging out with them

Sup Forums is a shitposting board so those posts probably aren't sincere

Why would being a normie be good?

Normies are subhuman.

The average normie is overweight.

The average normie is poor/not financially secure.

The average normie hates his job and just "clocks out".

What I'm proposing is becoming more.

>once you see through their act you just quit hanging out with them

More like they stop hanging out with you because you're a waste of space doomed to be average for ever.

how does it feel to have such intense autism

>I've created a constructive thread
>it's quite telling how no one has anything constructive to add

i didn't say i don't

sorry to burst your bubble, friendo

if you're ugly, dumb, short, timid, etc, you will never succeed in life

everything is biologically preordained

Yeah i probably should have posted a picture of a woman's ass close up in the camera and posted "BRRRRRRPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"

Or maybe a pictured from BLACKED.com along with "How can whitebois compete". Would probably get lots of constructive posts.

Because I'm posting productive things trying to help you fucking aspies and all I get in response is /r9k/ memes.

>if you're ugly, dumb, short, timid, etc, you will never succeed in life

Good thing I'm none of those

>he unironically thinks Sup Forums is intended for constructive use and stimulating discussion

is this what autism looks like?

people aren't as dumb as you think, while manipulation might work some times, other times people will realise you're a fraud and it will have negative consequences for your reputation

All of this stuff could be true, but im seriously incapable of any of it. How does it feel to live like this? Cant be fun.

>How does it feel to live like this? Cant be fun.

Feels like success and achieving your dreams.

So pretty good. Not for everyone though, some people like being unsuccessful.

You're retarded.

it doesn't work "some of the time", it works all the time. I haven't even posted anything particularly controversial, these things are basic.

Let me fix your shitty thread, OP.

>1. Just do what you want to do. Don't do anything as vain as bragging about it or posting it all over the internet. Who cares who knows?

2. Praise people if you sincerely mean it. If you don't, don't bother. People see right through your falsehood, but more importantly you are doing yourself a disservice by being false.


3. This one is okay, look good, feel good, be clean, be attractive. Basic stuff.

4. Don't develop some false image and project that onto people. Sooner or later, everyone will see that you're playing pretend. Develop your character and actually be who you want to be.

5. If you actually care about people, send them a sincere card for special events and holidays. If you don't care for them, don't even bother.

6. Turn down invitations to things you don't want to go to and accept the ones you do.

7. This is good, don't spread shit around.

8. Your time has high value. True. Have self-respect.

9. If you find yourself having to conceal your agenda, you're probably being false. Try again.

>1. Show, don't tell.
I do that naturally because i hate bragging and braggers.
>2. Praise people.
If they deserve it.
>3. Have Patrick Batemen tier level of hygiene, dress style and fitness.
Dressing like a hobo feels really good when you're the boss. I agree on hygiene and fitness though.
>4. Develop a caricature version of yourself.
I guess i don't have to force it.
>5. Send them a happy birthday card and New Year card, via email or post card.
This feel like the polite thing to do, if a tad manipulative. Will build a database of birthdays, good idea.
>6. Got an invitation? Turn them down.
Kek, what am i, a japanese boss ? I have a wife and kids, and they're more important than whatever normie n°96 could offer me.
>7. Only say positive or neutral things about people.
I don't need to force it.
>8. Your time has high value.
Ditto.
>9. Appear to have no agenda, even if you have one.
This one feel extremely dishonest but i practice it constantly. It is highly effective. My motto is "don't lie", and not saying shit is the number one loophole of that rule. I exploit the shit out of it.


Pénis.

>If you don't, don't bother. People see right through your falsehood, but more importantly you are doing yourself a disservice by being false.

No you aren't you dumb fuck.

#2 is probably the most important of all those mentioned and should be done always. Compliments really aren't common, and they're easy to make and make people feel great about themselves.

Tell that fatass secretary she looks nice today and watch her face light up as no one has ever said that to her before.

>5. If you actually care about people, send them a sincere card for special events and holidays. If you don't care for them, don't even bother.

Takes a few minutes, make the person feel good. Why NOT do it?
Everyone likes being acknowledged. You're both making someone happy and also building rapport with them.

What are your dreams user? What is success to you? I'm curious how someone with your beliefs thinks.

>How to trick people into liking you
>Be nice to them

Truly you have cracked this world wide open, user!

I'd just drop by and tell them happy birthday instead of writing a card.

And yet people don't do these things, despite them being incredibly simple.

I'm not saying it's a secretcode you fucking faggot. Fuck this retarded board

Go cry about tfw no gf

If she looks nice, what's the problem in saying so? If she doesn't, why are you handing your approval out for nothing? The difference is sincerity which people do pick up on, no matter how good an actor you think you are.

>Why not send a hastily written card to some schmuck you don't like

Because it's a total lie, you tard. Better advice would be to find something to like about the person first, then everything comes naturally. Your entire life "philosophy" consists of putting the cart before the horse - putting on a fake smile instead of cultivating genuine character.

I have a gf/family/friends/job and am genuinely nice to people without trying to push my own agenda. Did you get lost on the way to /r9k/?

>If she doesn't, why are you handing your approval out for nothing?

To build rapport.

>you want her to be on your side? Why? Because even plebs in numbers can wield power, ie fat tumblrsettes and keyboard social justice warriors. When you help the weak, old and young, people will immediately like you. Politicians know this, hence kissing the baby on every televised election.

>you want her to be on your side? Why? Because even plebs in numbers can wield power, ie fat tumblrsettes and keyboard social justice warriors. When you help the weak, old and young, people will immediately like you. Politicians know this, hence kissing the baby on every televised election.

Missed this part, faggot?

>I haven't even posted anything particularly controversial
yes, you're giving advice on how to be a fake personality that is just created to profit your own agenda

It's much easier to build rapport if you're not lying through your teeth the entire time.

Answer my question faggot. What are your dreams?

>this is a bad thing

Not so tough when people start asking questions huh OP. Fucking blowhard diva bitch.

What's the point of answering questions when you're just looking for things to pick at?

it doesn't really matter what I say because you'll just find a way to scoff at it instead of discussing the topic at hand.

I just wanted to know what goals this behavior supposedly achieves.