Vocaroo thread

sexy edition
vocaroo.com/i/s0pjWsrvQzuS

>official unofficial rules:
post anything

ive got no plans today, so ill rate ur english if you want

"There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.
I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Homu thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a Sup Forums pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" lesbian magical banana, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on Sup Forums posting about a potassium deficieny. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic bananafag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "BANANA DID NOTHING WRONG." You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be."

Other urls found in this thread:

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vocaroo.com/i/s1FnqnVPb1cC
vocaroo.com/i/s1j5cxnWZnfr
vocaroo.com/i/s03ZCFpNLJDi
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vocaroo.com/i/s109IKjoL2Oc
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vocaroo.com/i/s1vnF40ZXZVR
vocaroo.com/i/s1odfjZjgXob
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youtube.com/watch?v=ghH1tOEfLyY
vocaroo.com/i/s0KU9eV5d1TP
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twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

shit thread Tbh lads

...

horrid thread

What a shit thread lads.

vocaroo.com/i/s0ADF2hNA7JK

grammar mistakes threw me off

@___@ i have a really shiiiiit accent
._. When I get home ill post
(●´ω`●)

are you a trapppppppp'?P?P^?P>

PLEASE try read this lads

>Den här går också bra för fy fan vad jag hatar svenska tjejer. Degenererade jävla horor som bara bedrar och ljuger. Det enda dom bryr sig om är sig själva och sin jävla "lycka" vilket innebär en lina från en pundares kuk eller varför inte en resa in till ghettot. Jag gillar faktiskt terroristerna för dom dödar iallafall bort skräpet, nbögarna, från samhället. Hell fucking Seger.

/thread

fucking ace ++

I would post but some Bonglander already did it.

I shall wait till 5 other cunts do it.

vocaroo.com/i/s1FnqnVPb1cC
first go at mongolian throat singing, does anyone have tips ?

Hmmmm

French already sound like they have a frog down their throat.

Sounds good.

vocaroo.com/i/s1j5cxnWZnfr
:'(

vocaroo.com/i/s03ZCFpNLJDi

>vocaroo.com/i/s1FnqnVPb1cC
sounds islamic imho

vocaroo.com/i/s05URKGd50Jc

vocaroo.com/i/s1V9n2YqkBPy

vocaroo.com/i/s1IA9ja4rGRx

8.5/10 nice. only thing i noticed is that you don't always use the right O sound, e.g. when you said "post" and "overweight" you should use a hard O

vocaroo.com/i/s0N4TAZJdC31

First attempt edition

vocaroo.com/i/s1hlVJKyezBz

Was I close?

meh thats my try
vocaroo.com/i/s1RKPv5FP0AX

10/10 nailed allahu akbar

>fread
>finking

10/10

t. potato

vocaroo.com/i/s1IXhjjpjj8t

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My usb cam is shit.

I regret doing this.
vocaroo.com/i/s1tYTOJx5L8p

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Why is an American in Boreway?

vocaroo.com/i/s02vMm07Hq9K
i'm retarded and couldn't say would you like me to make you have my babies

10/10 would leave my Girlfriend with you.

vocaroo.com/i/s109IKjoL2Oc
i need to practice reading more

r8
vocaroo.com/i/s1wtLC3gP07z

If you are not a qt boy please leave.

Other then that you sound American.

howlin here lads

best one. Really good prununciation 2bh

gib easy german pls

i should work hard on my accent i know
(ㆀ˘・з・˘)
Vocaroo.com/i/s09aqKTBKVJj

Any Swedish bros on here want to give me feedback on my Swedish?

pls don't bully, I know the accent is completely different but I'm just trying to learn the words for now and I'll work on that after.
vocaroo.com/i/s1masUz232dc

vocaroo.com/i/s0fgyL2En6p2
Not a faggot by the way.

give me something to say

Which language?

It's good 10/10

whatever you want bb

Wow thanks. I hope one day I can build the courage to talk to Swedes in their language but it's hard

Keeping learning

Din värdelösa kuksugare :3

kill yourself and die

Il neigeait. On était vaincu par sa conquête.
Pour la première fois l'aigle baissait la tête.
Sombres jours ! l'empereur revenait lentement,
Laissant derrière lui brûler Moscou fumant.
Il neigeait. L'âpre hiver fondait en avalanche.
Après la plaine blanche une autre plaine blanche.
On ne connaissait plus les chefs ni le drapeau.
Hier la grande armée, et maintenant troupeau.
On ne distinguait plus les ailes ni le centre.
Il neigeait. Les blessés s'abritaient dans le ventre
Des chevaux morts ; au seuil des bivouacs désolés
On voyait des clairons à leur poste gelés,
Restés debout, en selle et muets, blancs de givre,
Collant leur bouche en pierre aux trompettes de cuivre.
Boulets, mitraille, obus, mêlés aux flocons blancs,
Pleuvaient ; les grenadiers, surpris d'être tremblants,
Marchaient pensifs, la glace à leur moustache grise.
Il neigeait, il neigeait toujours ! La froide bise
Sifflait ; sur le verglas, dans des lieux inconnus,
On n'avait pas de pain et l'on allait pieds nus.
Ce n'étaient plus des cœurs vivants, des gens de guerre :
C'était un rêve errant dans la brume, un mystère,
Une procession d'ombres sous le ciel noir.
La solitude vaste, épouvantable à voir,
Partout apparaissait, muette vengeresse.
Le ciel faisait sans bruit avec la neige épaisse
Pour cette immense armée un immense linceul.
Et chacun se sentant mourir, on était seul.

You asked for it honey

weew

Isha'allah

Happy juletide to you all freaks out there.
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vocaroo.com/i/s1vnF40ZXZVR
done

Must I scourge the internet for something easier?

vocaroo.com/i/s1odfjZjgXob

:^)

You have to teach us the reading rules of french first.

French has as its basis that you should utter the words as if you were the coolest motherfucker around.
Does that suffice.
And swedebro certainly didn't explain Finnish did he: Anyways, which are the words that bother you?

vocaroo.com/i/s1oG4bVDHeUc
:(

Swedish*
No disrespect intended Sverige.

>swedebro certainly didn't explain Finnish

chechnya - krooto!

Aw now you're just about fussing over something I promptly rectified:

oh sorry didn't see the correction before i posted

No worries!
How's my Swedish though?

Bernadotte would be proud

Hehe almost forgot about that.
Though, and forgive my english, fuck him.
>In 1813, he allied Sweden with Napoleon's enemies, including Great Britain, Russia and Prussia, in the Sixth Coalition, hoping to secure Norway. After the defeats at Lützen (2 May 1813) and Bautzen (21 May 1813), it was the Swedish Crown Prince who put fresh fighting spirit into the Allies; and at the conference of Trachenberg he drew up the general plan for the campaign which began after the expiration of the Truce of Pläswitz.[22]

wait I thought he came after Waterloo.I can't believe he betrayed Napoleon like that, what a fucking asshole

vocaroo.com/i/s0pBftbTFMZg

youtube.com/watch?v=ghH1tOEfLyY

More than betraying his country, by his actions he'd deserted his ideals too considering he acquiesced to being crowned, although he'd started his military career as a revolutionary. At first, people may have said that he'd only approved to being crowned to moor Sweden in a friendship with France, but then him backstabbing his country depicted that he'd both betray his country and ideals to conserve his role as king (otherwise Russia might've deposed him had he remained favorable to Russia). There's even the rumor that he'd refused to be seen his doctors throughout his life to hide from them his "Mort au roi" tattoo).

So your royal family are assholes, traitors and cucks ._.

you Chechens sure are a contentious people

favorable to France*
Hope I'm making sense.

Well m8 I think the republican ideals disapeared when Napoleon crowned himself Emperor

yeah well to be honest many of Nappys generals were opportunistic cucks who backstabbed him. The first time he got exiled none of them wanted to continue fighting

>ah well to be honest many of Nappys generals were opportunistic cucks who backstabbed him.
[Citation needed]
The greater part of his generals renounced submitting themselves to Louis XVIII on his second coronation, and were as such either incarcerated or reprimanded with an execution.

>Well m8 I think the republican ideals disapeared when Napoleon crowned himself Emperor
Eh, it all boils down to whether you're swayed by Napoleon's pretensions that he was merely crowning himself emperors to appease the other powers of Europe, who he thought it would please that autocratic rule had returned. That said, the Revolution was never about retexturing the Ancient Regime in Republicanism, but rather about dissolving the privileges of the clergy and nobles. These were its core values, and Napoleon for the most part defended them tooth and nail as emperor (barring him creating a "nobility of the Empire" which was slightly hypocritical.

>The first time he got exiled none of them wanted to continue fighting
My apologies.
To be honest though, Napoleon would've abdicated had him marshals urged at Fontainebleau or not. As you say, some were opportunistic though and wished only for France not to be depleted in a further struggle, since they know they'd be retained as generals in the King's armies anyways.

Nobody's perfect. Anyways good point.

>[Citation needed]
some french documentary I saw. Apparently after Russia a lot of them felt like
>"hey we're alive and filthy rich after plundering Europe let's just sue for peace and live like kings" which Nappy didn't wnat to do
but that was just from that documentary so it might be wrong

>he was merely crowning himself emperors to appease the other powers of Europe
never thought about it this way. Maybe he did or maybe he just wanted the prestige. we'll never know I guess
>These were its core values, and Napoleon for the most part defended them tooth and nail as emperor
agreed. He was pretty based

btw do you guys think Waterloo was Unecesarry? A lot of people claim that had he won he still didn't have enough men or resources to continue the war but Idk.
very interesting man, Napolen

>"hey we're alive and filthy rich after plundering Europe let's just sue for peace and live like kings"
Especially knowing that their brillance in the preceding wars had certified them a status in the King's army, whether they be peasant or noble, and none could've hoped for more.
>we'll never know I guess
Hence it being doomed to be an autistic struggle between the French who parade the notion that Napoleon tampered with the Revolution only under the incentive to appease Europe, and Englishmen who call him a dictator.
>btw do you guys think Waterloo was Unecesarry?
Absolutely. Once the European powers had dismissed Napoleon's pleas for peace, which would've be the only sane path on which down to journey, Napoleon had to hinder the Prussians and English forming a joint army, and therefore he sent the Prussians in an humiliating defeat at Ligny and Quatre-bras. Following that had to be urged into retreat the English and dutch army, and Napoleon waged battle on them at Waterloo where Wellington had been strategically encamped.

However what was supposed to be an easy victory devolved into this:
>a rainy day meaning the battle could only be started at 2:00, leaving the Prussians ample time to reinforce the British
>Napoleon being sickly, and delegating about 80% of the battle to rash Ney (which is why we're devastated when Brits hope to sort Waterloo as a victory against Napoleon when he was barely there)
>Grouchy being an idiot and falling for a Prussian ruse, and therefore leaving the main corps of Prussians free to maneuver to Waterloo
And thus the Prussian and British were fused, culminating in 3:1 odds for France.

Hope the /his/ autism isn't coming off too strong.

Absolutely necessary I mean*

>Hope the /his/ autism isn't coming off too strong.
nono I love reading this stuff. But what I meant was do you also agree that it didn't matter whether he won Waterloo or not, or do you think he could have remained Emperor and defended France if he won at Waterloo?

>didn't matter whether he won Waterloo or not, or do you think he could have remained Emperor and defended France if he won at Waterloo?
Ah insanely hard to determine.
What should be telling though is that France was rearing itself into such defensive battles before the Austrian and Russians foes had began looming on France, so I'd have to be swayed to the pessimisic perspective on it all.
Basically the empire's manpower had been depleted at Leipzig, and its morale shattered at Leipzig. In 1815, there were only "Marie-Louise" (the nickname for young boys age 15 to 20) remaining amongst which there could be mass conscription. A Hitler's volkstrum so to speak.

>When Napoleon was faced with invasion by a massive Allied force in 1814, he conscripted many teenagers for his armies. Orphans of the Imperial Guard fought in the Netherlands with Marshal MacDonald and were between the ages of 14 and 17.[109] Many of the conscripts who reported to the ranks in 1814 were referred to as Marie Louises after the Empress Marie Louise of France (they were also known as "The Infants of the Emperor").
Europe should recognize the genocide it exacted on France!

>Basically the empire's manpower had been depleted at Leipzig
yeah that's pretty much what I've heard. Basically he had all of Europe against him and France was done after literal decades of war.
It might sound morbid but I am glad Waterloo happened. even though it was a clusterfuck and he lost and lot's of people died I'm glad Napoleon got a final battle to be remembered by, he deserved it

"La mort n'est rien, mais vivre vaincu et sans gloire, c'est mourir tous les jours"

>I'm glad Napoleon got a final battle to be remembered by
A battle throughout which he had to be bedded as its climax was transpiring outside his tent?
Ew nah.

Do you mean instead of rotting away in Elba while never escaping to France one last time for the Hundred Days'?

>Europe should recognize the genocide it exacted on France!
kek you kinda exacted trhe same on Europe (maybe not in kills but in conquest) so I'd say everyone was even after that

>A battle throughout which he had to be bedded as its climax was transpiring outside his tent?
yeah I know. As I said I'm glad he got a final battle to be remebered by even though it was a clusterfuck

>Do you mean instead of rotting away in Elba while never escaping to France one last time for the Hundred Days'?
yes I'm so glad he got to shake up Europe one last time.The hundred days were a great way to send him off. St Helena wasn't better than Elba but at least he put the fear of god back into Europe oine last time if you know what I mean

vocaroo.com/i/s0KU9eV5d1TP

Hmm true, but not on even proportions it might seem.

France had been robbed of its edge in demographics once the Napoleonic wars concluded themselves, and the British and Germans were catapulted into a position of superiority against France from the sheer size of the population theircountries now amassed, against France that had been ravaged demographically by fighting thr 5 other European giants at once.7

>The hundred days were a great way to send him off
I still don't have my money about it though. REEE.

-___-" why?

vocaroo.com/i/s0MRU7e8f1nc

Hello friends

vocaroo.com/i/s0L4fKVavXUU

there's something cathartic about saying this

vocaroo.com/i/s03Y620Bl61Q

I've seen estimates by the likes of Henry Halleck (US General back in the day) that, even after Waterloo, the French probably could have held their outer ring of forts for a year or two if they'd wanted to - instead the garrisons pretty much gave up and the political will was gone, giving Napoleon time to build another Grand Army - no idea if he actually thought Napoleon could've pulled off a victory.

He was also damning of the Austrians for being indecisive - he reckons had they moved on Napoleon sooner, with half as many men, they probably could've shattered him when he was in Germany.

That was pretty good.

Thank you kindly, friend.

vocaroo.com/i/s0gOVFOAxAMU