/brit/

nervous edition

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is there going to be WW3 now???

gonna do a suicide

y

I'm finally here. After years of saving up, I took a 12 hour night flight from Heathrow to Johannesburg, and following a helicopter journey across the bush, eventually reached the safari lodge I'd been dreaming of.

At sunset we're setting off across the hills and plains to seek out some of the most beautiful and exciting creatures in Africa. Everything is prepared: the sandwiches have been wrapped, the water bottles stowed away and the jeep fueled and readied. Our guide was careful to thoroughly instruct us in the basic safety protocols: not to make any sudden loud noises, not to stand up in the vehicle, and not to lean over the side. Of course I listened with the rest, but unbeknownst to everyone else I do not intend on following a single one of the safety regulations. Why? Well let me explain. You see, I am not here to take photographs - I haven't even packed a camera. I am not here to enjoy the warm weather. Nor am I going to be enjoying the fine South African wines provided by the lodge. No. I am here for one sole purpose.

This evening we will encounter a herd of black rhinoceroses that have been confirmed as passing through the area. I can already imagine the sight of the beautiful beasts as they lumber around the grass. We will get as close as we can - this the head ranger has assured me. Now, as the rest of the party gasp and take photographs, here is what I will do. Yelling and shrieking, I will leap over the side of the open-topped jeep. Once in the mud, to everyone's shock I will rip off my cargo trousers to reveal my dick and ballbag. The latter of these (now this is key) I will have painted a bright shade of fluorescent red. Then, still hollering and flailing my arms, I will sprint at full pelt towards the alpha bull rhinoceros. And it is then that my apotheosis will come - the mangling and skewering of my bollock sack on the point of that majestic creature's horn.

The moment is fast approaching friends - the moment I become... complete

>habbeding habbens right before Christmas

don't see the appeal in putting in any effort

Isn't it kind of delusional for a late 20s kissless virgin to expect to perform sexually when visiting an escort for the first time? I need cuddle/kissing sessions first because I will be so consumed by nerves there's no point going straight to sex.

what habbedings are habbening?

Would you sign up to help Russia kill Turkroaches?

this is crazy

but here's my number ;)

>Murdered Russian diplomat Andrei Karlov began his career as a diplomat in 1976, working extensively in North Korea for more than 30 years before being transferred to Ankara in 2007, according to the Russian embassy's website.

Andrei...had a hard life

>implying you have to put in effort

Ah yes lets keep poking Russia with a stick this will really go down well haha fuck drumpf

Russian ambassador assassinated in Turkey by his own bodyguard over Russian intervention in Syria.

I think most prossies would be delighted if you were offering them money to just kiss and cuddle

Runts

Girls have some fucking T I G H T bodies these days, it's fucking unreal. You see some of their mid-rifts and dat thigh gap and tight arses and it's just astounding
What is it? Is it todays diets? Are they working out earlier?

you do though. you can't be neet forever

social media making girls more self conscious

this reminds of that japanese politician who was knifed during a speech

Still a lot of fat bitches going round though.

it's an illusion caused by the overall standard dropping so much, the average woman weighs about 13 stone

so true xx

Pro-EU think-tank says Russia and Syria could be orchestrating migrant sex attacks to swing the upcoming German elections

>muslims aren't just inherently rapey, everything is russia's fault!!!!

you can if you want idk m8 may as well have a laugh before its pitch black for the rest of eternity

fuckin hell

I was wondering why the post rate was so low. Seems everyone is in: boards.Sup Forums.org/int/thread/68821548boards.Sup Forums.org/int/thread/6882154868821548

We can come back here after that thread dies.

Everything is Russia's fault