Favorite cinema ran out of crab legs

>favorite cinema ran out of crab legs

Do you anvil?

>The only good kino house in my township doesn't stock vegan Falcon treats

Heres your popcorn, sir. Who will you be sharing it with?
You are aware of our no single policy, right?

Why is the soap at the cinema showers always such poor quality? They always stock it up with axe or target brand.
I don't fucking get it. They could at least have the decency to use old spice.

>live in bong
>local cinemaplex banned haram movies
>only showing sharia-approved kino
can't watch captain america now

In Australia we eat pop corn in out theatres, pretty cool huh?

Budget cuts, same reason they just sell regular bird seed instead of Falcon-specific treats. I just sneak my own in under my trenchcoat

>tfw they catch you trying to sneak in your own toiletries
$3 for a ketchup-packet-sized amount of conditioner is a fucking rip-off

We do it a bit differently in Virginia, our pop eats out our cornhole in theaters

Just endure it, it's not worth the hassle of spending the night in a cinema cell.

Jesus look at the size of those popcorn in the bucket. I want huge popcorn.

So I got into a fight with this faggot the other day about assigned seats he didn't realize you to have to sit in your assigned seat what a pleb

Honestly, the cinema jail cells aren't that bad. They serve amazing Italian food. The cinema jail chef slices the garlic so thin that it liquifies the moment it touches the pan. Not to mention all the great jail themed movies the have available.

I dunno if this is true everywhere or just something they do in my local theater but when they assign seats they give priority to couples over people going on their own. I ended up losing my seat to some black guy and his girlfriend and having to sit in the aisle next to her husband

How much do you guys tip the ticket ripper? I usually hook him up with a fiver.

>given chicken dumplings instead of pork but too shy to say something

>His kino doesn't serve roe

I tried to tip mine once and he just ripped the note in half with a big smile, wtf

Shut up nigger

kek
Why am I laughing at this I'm 25 failing college my life is a miserable mess and I'm laughing at a meme maybe 10,000 people on this world get that isn't funny unless you've spent at least hundreds of hours learning absolutely useless lingo on a board that will never help me achieve anything practical

>using theater go-karts
>Chad+Stacy couple notice I'm alone and start ramming me repeatedly
I just want to be left alone.

>tfw banned for filling soda cup up with popcorn

The manager told me it's illegal, that's not even a real law. I had my heelies on so I dropped one of the smoke grenades I carry in my messenger bag on the floor to distract people and rolled out on my heelies.

Falcons are birds of prey, they don't eat birdseed you fucking retard.

>Didn't pass the marksmanship test required to get in to the cinema so I was sent home
Anyone have any advice to get better groupings?

>favorite kino doesn't allow rifles

>tfw you get separated from your wife and her son

...

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>won't let me bring in my falcon and dog

Same. But I was paying way more before I learned my mate was paying not nearly as much for the happy ending.

Are crab legs halal or haram?

Also whatever happened with that scandal involving your bong police turning a blind eye to that network of immigrants that kidnapped and raped all those British girls?

Underrated post

never happened kufar, mayor of london decreed it

>tfw the cinema showers run out of hot water and I have to clean myself in the kiddie bath

Feels embarrassing

>trying to go see Civil War
>completely forgot my theatre makes everyone do a clap test to see these big name movies
>I clap as hard as I can
>fail by 30 dB, not allowed in

Seriously?

>tfw when i went into the cinema showers with my anvil

crabs are haram, as well as all other kinds of shellfish

>Kinocentre only serves hors d'oeuvres and Chablis
>Flickshack only serves buckets of corn on the cob with margarine and no refills

When will we get a cinematique with proper crab legs?

Exactly, that's why I'm annoyed that the cinema only stocks it

>our local cinema has banned white males from bringing in lawnmowers

Pretty good thread, famicoms
No walls of text, and I've noticed some OC here and there.

I'll definitely be reading this a couple more times.

>tfw when the release date for the film you want to see is getting nearer and nearer and you still haven't received a reply to your written ticket application yet
I bet it's because I put "single" under the marital status section

Hnng Charlize

One of the only South Africans I can stand as a Dutch person, their mongrel dialect hurts my ears

It never happened... Ok

And somehow yall elect a Muslim mayor after it "didn't" happen

This has happened to me. I just tipped my falcondora at him.

10/10

You're either a mad man or somehow can afford the rust proofing treatment from the cinema blacksmith

>tfw my cinema has a 25% tax on refreshments for singles instead of a no singles policy
Win some, lose some.

This guy works at my local cinema. After selling me popcorn he came to watch the film with me and my girlfriend. They must not have liked it though cause they left halfway

A-are you me?

>take wife's son to local cultural indoctrination centre
>He asks me my opinion
>tfw need to consult online autism support group

Britbong here, it sucks that they keep pausing movies now so the audience can perform salat. I didn't join in and an usher forced me to leave for "oppressing national beliefs" or some shit

What does the cinema do with anvils that get left behind?

I didn't realise I'd forgotten mine until I got home

>his kino doesn't serve wine

I'm a 25 yo loser neverhadajoboreducation NEET living in my mums basement and this thread is the best thing of this month so far and I've had my birthday

>Local Kinomagnifíquestrianosclïœūñįė only requires 50% tip for each hands-on penis inspection

They could at least do it in the showers instead of in the line, but I guess I wouldn't have my wallet on me, so you know that's why they do it

>tfw tv is always needing a new janitor due to them always quitting over baneposting

...

is this the comfiest meme?

>forgot to lock my locker before shower
>come back to find all my clothes stolen
>luckily brought my vita with me into the shower but they took my wallet
wtf do I do? I'm standing here naked in the dressing rooms posting on my vita while normies give me odd looks. The movie is gonna start soon and I don't even have my ticket.

>at cïnêmãtœgråphīqüé
>they refused my cinema credit card
>forced to sit in "Flick Corner"

Just cover your junk with the Vita, it's plenty big enough, as I know you have a woefully inadequate dong. Then just try not sweat to much when you watch all the ladies make out with their bucks or your ass will stick to the leather recliners.

>tfw forgot to bring my climbing rope to the cinema
>no way to get up to the kino tower
>stuck on ground floor area, doomed to watch the newest plebflick starring some annoying white bitch

>made it past the darkie with the popping corn
>slipped past the ticket ripper
>evaded the penis-inspection gnomes
>didn't shower at all
>got a seat at the latest showing of Anvil and the Chipmonks
>the lights dim
>the film starts
>thisisit.jpg
>suddenly blinded by a searing light
>it's a kinoguard in the catwalk above with a spotlight
>the theatre hushes as everyone turns to face me with disgust
>I feel a breathe on the back of my neck
>my toes curl as I hear a voice in a thick German accent behind me
>a leather gloved hand caresses the back of my neck
>"DAS IZ VERBOTIN. YAH?"
>suddenly everything falls away as a trapdoor opens below

I've been in this pit living off discarded crab legs and those unbreakable yellow corn kernels for 2 weeks now. At least there's wifi.

Your fault for forgetting to bring something so basic, retard.

Have someone phone the front desk. They should have complimentary bath robes along with toiletries. But if one thing is for sure, they will be pissed about you having your theater shoes stolen.

>25

Damn, I'm fucking old

>Anvil and the Chipmonks

I kekked I must admit

>kinohouse runs out of crab legs AND lobster tails
I had to settle for a clam bucket instead, which I hate doing because they force you to rent one of their clam knives and you can't bring your own.

Haaæ!

>tfw the theater shoes don't come in quarter sizes

Feels bad, I'm a size 9.75 and I have to squeeze into a 10

MISTA F

>he doesn't bring his own chair
it must suck being a pleb

How do you guys get past the cinema imam when he asks for your sharia card? I'm not racist but i don't have the time to spend 500 hours praying at my local mosque.

Shut up bratbing

If you make him angry enough he explodes then you can slip past

>tfw you get picked to be the cinema shooter
>tfw you didn't bring a gun because you thought the chances of you being picked were so slim
>tfw everybody laughs at you when the designated rampage break starts

Can I even go back to this cinema again? It's the only one in my area that doesn't have the NSP, fucking hell

Not your personal blog

>forgot to bring my own headphones
>have to watch the ebonics dub

>tfw normies keep using their anvil in the squat rack

These are great pepes, mind if I save them?

>forget to funpost before the kino-ads are over
>ejected from theatre

Gimme something in trade and I'll let you save it, bro

I really need some rare sad pepes, got any I can have?

>tfw I left my pickaxe down the theater mine

I bet it will be gone next time I go.

lmao
how the fuck am I supposed to put down my cinema blanket in the deep meadows of the kino park then.
they shouldve at least allowed you to bring a weed whacker with you.
damn I mean at my cinema theres even a personal gardener service you can use for free including the requirement of a designated lumberman to bring down bigger trees blocking the kino screens

Happened to me once. From then on my mom's boyfriend always double checks my cinema pack before dropping me off.

You can pay escorts to distract them by facing north during the bi hourly prayer. It causes a hard reboot in the sharia net, disabling the imam for 30 seconds. It used to take longer, but they upgraded to solid state drives.

I'm 31. What am I doing here?

I only collect traditional pepes, any in particular you're interested in?

Give me that Almost Crying Pepe, that's a good one, very versatile and applicable in many scenarios

>mfw I'm 12 years younger than you
Meme into the long night with me, user.

Hey man not that user but I'm interested in the second pepe...11379027_14612425141...480.jpg

Mind posting it?

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Thanks a lot man. Enjoy your new Pepe in Paris. It's pure class.

It's all yours, friend :)

How do you thing Boers will fare now that a hardcore commie is gonna win presidency in South Africa? Will you let them become refugees in Europe or will they have to fight off nigs Rhodesia style?

Hahahaha

>Not being vegan
I always knew Sup Forums was nothing but full of faggots. Keep eating those sausages, faggot. I'm sure you're used to it.

Hahahah