ITT: movies that could not be released today

ITT: movies that could not be released today.

>Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)

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>still no Crank 3

;_;

>female character in distress asks for a male's help

Different times, I guess.

Wolverine also overpowers and defeats a woman, on-screen.

Very shocking re-visiting X2 today.

I'm afraid it'd be a disappointment.
Could they even get any more over the top?

Crank 1 and 2 were fantastic. Textbook example of a movie not taking itself too seriously and just having insane fun with a concept and just seeing what they could get away with.

A #3 would be amazing.

I think Crank 2 exhausted all the remaining potential. Chelios won, he cheated death and killed all the people who might've come after him.

Space

I've no doubt in my mind.

Till then I kind of use Hardcore Henry as a substitute for Crank 3. Damn that movie was fun.

does it look like i have cunt written on my forehead?

Fuck you, Chelios.
youtube.com/watch?v=MpJvmJWEDEo

I thought it was a pretty shocking scene for capeshit when I saw it in theaters. Wolverine doesn't give a shit, he always goes for the throat.

Don't worry user. After 8 years of Trump we won't be a country of pussified pc libcucks anymore.

I wish I could watch that flick without getting dizzy. Maybe I could tolerate it on the small screen.

What's that? Fucking Cunt-a-nese?

Because we won't be a country. I'm getting ready for captain America civil war 2 if you know what I mean

>Catch Ebola
>No I'm clean like a baby!

>libtard speaks in capeshit

how surprising

Are the Crank films a good watch? I've seen a couple gifs/clips of Jason fucking a girl in public, and it's making me really hard thinking about it because it seems like him having sex with a girl in public is like the ultimate form of consent for a girl. I have never been friends with a girl and I currently have no friends, so this is really appealing to me. What do you think?

Not sure who's trolling who

>After 8 years of Trump we won't be a country of pussified pc libcucks anymore.
No, we'll be a smoking hole in the ground between Canada and that fucking wall.

This movie needs a sequel so badly, the most videogame movies ever.

Wonder what Crank3 obligatory sex scene would entail?

Does this scene deserve to be on horse porn.com?

they're really fun

Kelly Hu

Hnnnnngh

I think you missed the part where he fell from a helicopter, broke his fall with a car, hit pavement and then still lived by getting an artificial heart.

They could literally do anything in Crank 3. They could even give him a completely artificial robot body after the sci fi elements of 2. It practically writes itself. He'd have like a robot dick that makes Million Dollar Man sound effects and a rocket fist.

She's still a cutie.

>Wonder what Crank3 obligatory sex scene would entail?

Sex at a major sporting event, like the super bowl or stanley cup, where she asks him to do anal and there's an awkward 30 seconds or so where he can't get it in because she's too tight, then an old women throws them some lube from her purse

>this is what libtards actually believe

Keep fantasizing about that zombie apocalypse, kiddo. Maybe you can put all those katanas you have to use

Make it so

true lies

Kek. Too much information. Yes they're worth watching they're completely over the top action movies made fast and loose bordering on avant-garde. 1 is better than 2 but they're both worth seeing.

>thinking Chev would remain a straight man in a sequel made this day an age

They're amazing. 2 is literally kino.

About public sex or about movie ?

Even dumber that conservacucks think he'll do anything to actually benefit the country.

What would the gimmick be to get him to do batshit crazy stuff though?

That scene with Dennis at his therapy and milf therapist starts trying to seduce him makes me diamonds.

> I'm getting ready for captain America civil war 2 if you know what I mean

LOL! Commie-pinko hippies and SJWs rising up in some kinda civil war is a Rightwinger’s wet dream!

Fury Road wouldn't be allowed to be made now

as opposed to hording guns for the impending race war/2nd amendment repossession battles that conservatives are so fond of. I'm not even that liberal really but conservatives shouldn't be judgmental when it comes to weird weapons fetishes.

We could get a Kalo spinoff where he has Tourettes and wacky gay shit ensues.

I'd watch anything in Crank universe...

>movies that could not be released today.
This is my favorite meme.

>it's a "pretend we're being victimized by the SJW"s topic

Well memed.

>I'm getting ready for captain America civil war 2 if you know what I mean
>Left wing vs Right wing in the current year US

How can you have a war when one side doesn't believe in gun ownership?

That would be more of a genocide than a "war"

The milf therapist in that scene is Jim Carrey's ex wife and Mary Swanson from Dumb and Dumber

thank god
Crank is for 16 year olds

>It's a redditor greentexting episode

Nice. Didn't know that, thanks user.

>commie investigator with symhaty for criminals
>all around leftists undertone against the state

Yeah, we call him OP.

I’ve never understood what was so bad about terms like “Social Justice Warrior”, “White Knight”, being “Sensitive”, etc. Beats being a dick ::shrug:: And, as a survivor of a narcissistic abuse family, I wish I’d been more “overprotected” as a kid like Millennials allegedly are. Then maybe I wouldn’t be such a messed up “grown-up”.

People are different, with their own personalities, we’re all shaped by the experiences we’ve been through, both good and bad, we're all wired differently, nature vs nurture, and we all deal with stuff in different ways. Some are more hardassed, some more sensitive, some have developmental disorders and can't be "normal", etc. Who cares? We’re all just flawed people doing our best to make sense of and survive this messed up world. If you don't believe me take a Human Psychology class (or just study up on the net).

The ones to watch out for are the ones who go out of their way to say how “normal” or sane they are IMO. Creepy. Makes me wonder what they’re hiding and why. And anyone who says stuff like “man up”, “grow a pair”, etc needs to be punched in the face for being an insensitive prick. Its not that easy for all of us. Makes me want to strangle them until they learn some empathy.

Elon Musk would release his Sentinels

Patriot Games

>Excuse me. I ughh... think one of us is in the wrong room

true
but crank2 is for patricians

>A movie where two ADULT MEN attempt to orchestrate the RAPE of two innocent little girls.

Elon Musk is fairly conservative

He would sell tech to both sides assuming the left wasn't immediately wiped out

...

Never watched it always saw it on tv but never gave it a chance.

Is it the one with brad pitt?

seriously hope you didn't just type that

No, that's The Devil's Own, another Harrison Ford vs. IRA movie

Fuck when you point it out like that it kinda is.

Becca wanted it though.

Which is patriot games again? Last Ford movie I watched was Tfa.

Wish more people had a heart, empathy, and compassion these days, or at least appreciated those of us who do. Hate how kindness is seen as weakness. Hate how almost everyone here on Sup Forums seems to have the same creepy personality (or is too scared to stand out). Most of you probably aren't even real and this is just The Matrix or something. Probably you all are just a bunch of Agent Smiths ;-) Most of you have all the personality of Agent Smith. Though he's probably your hero, so you take that as a compliment.

But I'll be myself, stand up for guys (and girls) like me who are a bit "weird" or awkward or whatever, and screw what anyone else thinks about it. "Normal" people suck. But I'm sure my message will be lost on most people here, as its not manly, cool, or "badass" enough, and that's all people care about these days, because we've been societally brainwashed to put that stuff on pedestals at the expense of humanity and kindness. The more I think about it, the more I think the hippies were right.

Patriot Games is based on the Tom Clancy book where Harrison Ford saves a member of the royal family from an IRA cell and kills Sean Bean's brother in the process. Then Sean Bean tries to get revenge while Ford goes after the IRA cell

>thinking trump won't use his presidency to promote his own business intrests at the expense of the taxpayer

You still live with your parents don't you?

Agent Smith was the good guy though

I'll give it a watch then, thanks user.

Protagonist
>white
>cis
>male
>straight
>christian
>conservative
>anti-semitic
>racist
>ableist

Antagonist
>black
>female
>buddhist
>swiss (which implies jewish)
>queer

Thank you,

like SJW have won, and we're all in the aftermath because a black guy and white girl are given a role in Disney's Star War movie, not because of Toy production but because SJW literally own the new Jewish Empire forcing us into Interracial breeding AGAINST OUR WILL.

please be bait

Gee, it's not like EVERY president has done it, you know Bush had cousins and family who owns guns and ammo factories?

Clinton family had similar interests

Love me some mad max boi

>this is what libtards actually believe
You realise that there are plenty of conservatives that hate him too?

More and more everyday...

Goddamn it every thing is political now.

Anybody know bout some Heavy Metal though?

No way that movie could be made and have the same awesome soundtrack.

There is a Stevie Nicks song exclusive to the movie but not on official releases of soundtrack for some reason.

Blue Lamp-Stevie Nicks on YouTube now.

This movie is so fucking funny. Its like American Pie, but good.

Pretty sure it's because of dialogue is spliced over the song in movie hence why it isn't on the soundtrack.

>Baby toes

conan the barbarian

proof: youtube.com/watch?v=P3L7tRQzDEQ

Whataboutism is a terrible argument (I mean, it's a shit one to begin with, but still) when the whole appeal of your guy is supposed to be 'he's not like those other crooks!'

Is this any good or is it just boobs, violence and CGI?

babby need his bawbaw?

I've only watched arny and still love it for how cheesy,the costumes are awesome,and the soundtrack is pretty damn good.

You all are just brainwashed by society into thinking either you're all "alpha males" or "alpha" type people or those type of people are the only ones who can be "likeable". And you think how the "alpha" type people respond in a crisis is how you'd respond. You know, because you watch shows like The Walking Dead and stuff and you all think you're so tough. And you think you have free reign to rip on people who maybe aren't as tough and you think that makes yourself a good person or something.

it's VERY boring, there's not nearly enough boobs and jason momoa's not even good at being in the fucking scene, he looks always out of place

100% agree with you my man

AL QAEDA

AL QAEDA

Thulsa doom was straight up jabba if you can remember what I mean.

>le sjw bogeyman

fuck off! Of course it could be, why wouldn't it?

damn Sup Forums has a lot of reddit/tumblr runover

sorry guys

all the cucks in this thread familia

I was 13 at the time and conned my clueless immigrant mother into taking me and two buddies to see Heavy Metal.

MOM: “But is cartoon, why must I go?”
ME: “Umm… it’s new theater policy, mom.”

Needless to say, she was NOT amused once the movie started but to her credit, she didn’t drag us out of there and we got to see the whole flick.

She did bitch slap me up-side the head in the parking lot afterward but it was worth it.

I was on a thread on Sup Forums yesterday with better discussions than Sup Forums.

Johnny5 will need be alive on Sup Forums.

LOL Nice trolling attempt. You creepy, cynical bastards and your posts about "cuckolding" and hidden interracial agendas.
Anyway, I always thought "cuckold" was a funny as hell word. And I swear I've never heard it in actual real life conversation. I'm 39 years old and never even heard the word, period, until a few years ago when I was reading some erotic fiction on the net or something like that.

...

Worth it imo.

Can't get decent threads going on here about nostalgic stuff at all. As I said in previous post Sup Forums has better discussions about movies and tv shows.


Me watching Lizzie McGuire

>he thinks this big strawman counts as an argument

are you eating lots of soy products? I think you might be turning into a woman.

>muh toxic masculinity, muh social construct!

>[current year]
>unironically using the word "strawman"

It's sad when someone's political interest remains at the level of comparing yesterday to today.

>thinking I give a shit about your opinion