Character wakes up

>character wakes up
>takes a shower standing up

>character wakes up without immediately sniffing his sweat-soaked pillow to see if it stinks

>Character doesn't shower before bedtime so he keeps his sheets clean and doesn't have to shower in teh morning

>character wakes up
>doesn't immediately go back to sleep because fuck everything

>character does this but doesnt have bad bed head and feel ashamed about it the entire day

daily reminder that you sweat while you're asleep

>character takes a shower
>doesn't spend three hours crying about how pathetic he is until the hot water runs out

Showering before bed is gross

>Character goes to sleep at night and wakes up in the morning
>Doesn't shitpost all night and sleep all day

>Character wakes up
>you don't

>Character wakes up
>Gets out of bed

I hate how unrealistic these flicks can be.

...

CANT WAKE UP

>user doesn't keep the ac on 60 degrees so he doesn't get his sheets sweaty

>character wakes up
>he doesn't look at his gun on the nightstand and contemplate suicide

How am I supposed to relate to this?

>character wakes up
>doesnt gargle with his vomit jar

So?

At least you don't have a days worth of sweat on you when you go to bed

>character doesn't hire a hooker off back page then hand her a gun when she arrives and begs her to kill him
Does that even count as losing your card??

>Character wakes up
>Doesn't immediately make sure he has enough vodka to make it through another day

Lol seek help

>Character goes to bed
>Doesn't prepare a stash of bedside toilet paper in case he wakes up in the middle of the night and needs to jerk off but doesn't want to get out of bed

>male character wakes up
>doesn't walk like a zombie to the bathroom with a piss boner

Dumb frogposters.

Smart fredposter.

>not rubbing one out as you slowly regain consciousness

>character wakes up
>brushes his teeth
>there isn't blood and toothpaste all over his face

>have to piss
>rub one out anyway
>piss
>dick burns for the next hour

No thanks

>character wakes up
>doesn't fondle his balls and penis for a bit before getting out of bed

>character finishes typing his post and clicks

>character wakes up
>doesnt fondle is balls and dick
>doesnt smell his fingers

>character types candlejack and then

>movie ends
>camera pans out to reveal the entire movie was a greentext
>main character clicks "Post"

>user reveals something personal about himself via greentext in a Sup Forums thread
>No one notices

> character wakes up
> he doesn't cry when realizing his dreams of normalcy are nothing but fantasy

>he can still feel his dick because he hasn't beat off furiously for more than at least 10 years
>he's not on an antidepressant so it's harder to cum
What the fuck is this, amateur hour? What fucking site am I on?

>character realizes everyone can smell the cum but him

truly horrifying

w-wait w-what?

>Character wakes up
>doesn't look in the mirror and regret not just manning up and asking for her number

>Character wakes up
>Doesn't tell himself that he'll put off getting his life on track until tomorrow

>Showering before bed is gross

>but wallowing in your own filth for 8 hours isn't

>male character wakes up
>doesn't attempt to hide his morning boner from family/flatmmates while he struggles to the bathroom at 1.25pm because he overslept again

>it's always tomorrow

> character wakes up
> doesn't pretend he's dead and floating away to ease the pain

>character wakes up
seriously?

Retarded amphibian poster

nah--soiling your bed every night with an entire day's worth of sweat, dirt, and skin because you haven't showered in 16 hours is gross.

> character wakes up
> doesn't softly kiss his own bicep to remind himself what human touch feels like

>character wakes up
>actually gets out of bed instead of pulling their laptop off the night stand and shitposting in bed all day

You're all a bunch of dumb fucking frogposters. Haven't had a single original thought in years I bet.

Glad I'm not the only one

>character zips up his pants with a vigorous tug
>doesnt catch his foreskin so badly he has to undergo an emergency circumcision
How am I supposed to relate?

This would be worth watching,

>Character wakes up and doesn't check all the tabs on his browser Ctrl-f searching for (You).

This is my favorite post off 2016 so far. Good job smart frogposter.

...

DELETE THIS

>character leaves their house
immersion ruined

>character poo
>doesn't find poo streaks on paper after long day at work

>Character masturbates
>isn't sobbing at the same time

his post actually hurt to read

way too close to home

>character cums into tissue or paper towel
>doesn't wipe off penis hole and throw it under desk out of site

>tfw I keep a picture of a person by my bed to remember what seeing another person is like
>tfw it's not even someone I know
>It's just a random person

>character wakes up
>doesn't hit snooze
>doesn't hit snooze
>doesn't hit snooze
>doesn't hit snooze
>doesn't hit snooze
>late for work but it doesn't matter and it's impossible to get rid of the feelings of worthlessness
>doesn't hit snooze

>character wakes up
>he doesnt immediately go to the toilet to throw up blood

Sweat and grease build up during sleep you dunce

>anyone goes to job
>works busy hours alone for 7 hours
>coworker shows up
>complains to boss that they did more work
>botching that they didn't have time to return texts
Fuck off cunt work is work not social time

>character wakes up earlier than 4pm

> character has 6-figure job
> doesn't just not show up for two days because he's paralyzed by depression then tells everyone sorry I was sick

> group of buddies on road trip
> character doesn't wake up to his friend """""accidentally""""" putting his hand on his cock

>character doesn't have Sup Forums X installed so he just has to check the ! on the tab
>character has to CTRL + F instead

Casuals.

Wow I have not seen candlejack in a long

Are you ok user?

I swear if I have to click ONE more storefront REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

>character is a white male
>with a girlfriend
>and a job
>who is educated

>character wakes up on his own not because his parents are fighting again

Finally, now I can quit Sup Forums.

> midnight on a Friday
> character once dated a model who wanted to marry him now shitposting outdated memes on Internet cesspool

>character is a """"""""""loser""""""""""
>has 8/10 girlfriend
>has a job
>has normie friends
>isn't insanely overweight or deformed ugly
>is just bored of modern life, that's all

I'd guess it's probably ulcers

>Sup Forums is full of frogposters
I knew this place was reddit.

>character is a moderator of an internet community
>receives a salary for it

user shut your mouth i swear to god i've had it up to here with you

frogposting has always been Sup Forums to the core, fuck off reddit

>character is taking a fat shit
>doesn't start leaking pre and having a prostate orgasm

Are movies even trying to mimic real life anymore?

These frogposting threads are the only reason I come to this board.

once you see 12 year old girls on twitter posting frogs, it's safe to say the meme is dead.

that's because redditors spread it outside, I don't browse twitter so I'm not aware of what goes on there

See you tomorrow.

This. The day we start letting normies decide what memes we meme is the day we lose all credibility.

>character wakes up at 8 am from a night of heavy drinking
>doesn't keep going back to sleep until 2 PM because his waking dreams are better than his real life will ever be

>tfw easter frogposting is spreading
based aussies do it again

>Character Wake up
>goes to work

>girl wakes up
>she doesn't unleash a hellish sounding fart under the covers

>character wakes up
>it's easter

>Character wakes up
>doesn't have a girlfriend

Jesus christ, why are movies so unrealistic?

Easter?

>character wakes up
>finger isn't crusted in shit from not wiping the night before and scratching mid sleep

EASTER

>character wakes up

>character wankes up
>ceiling not dripping with semen

Delete this. I don't come here to experience soul crushing realities. I come to escape.

>character wakes up
>doesnt spit a blood clot
???