Copied from a Reddit post, here are hungarian jokes:
In a dark corner a scottish guy got stopped by a mugger.
"100 pounds or your life!"
"Here's 50. I'm already half dead from the scare."
The scot and his son are walking in the market. Suddenly the son asks:
"Dad, can I get an orange?"
"No."
"But dad! I'd really like one!"
"Allright son, then spit on a vendor and maybe he'll throw one at you!"
A scottish kid asks his dad:
"Daddy, what will be under the christmas tree this year?"
"Floor."
The scot is cutting the grass in the garden, when his wife shouts out the window:
"John! There're two guys here. They asking for donations for the new public swimming pool. What should I give them?"
"Two baskets of water!"
The scot is in terrible pain, because of his teeth. He goes to the dentist, and in the dentist chair he starts nervously checking his pockets.
"Don't worry, you don't have to pay in advance!" - Says the doctor
"I'm not worried about that. Just want to count my money before the anastesia!"
Two scottish guys meet at the café. One of them tells the other that he'll have a date there today.
"And? She's not here yet?"
"Yeah, she's here. The girl at the corner table."
"And what's the matter?"
"I asked her, that she should eat donuts so I can recognise her. She's eating the fifth one, but I'm waiting for her to become full, so I don't have to buy dinner for her."
