The Witch

How did you live deliciously on your Saturday night?

Also why was the dad kicked out of the community?

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youtube.com/watch?v=Vgc5PDtIii8
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I ate ice cream and screamed

ran out to an art show with some friends, came back and shitposted

I haven't even seen the movie and know it was prideful conceit. He thought his interpretation of the religion was better than the settlements, and they kicked out for being an elitest puritan

why didn't thomasin show her breasts

I had two nice beers and smoked some weed.

>used to weigh 208 lbs and I would still be good to go after a bottle of whiskey or 2 and a half liters of boxed wine
>weight 155 lbs now and get a nice buzz going off a single beer
>tfw that cost savings

I don't know

>being this lusty
enjoy your bewitchment fag

So the witch fucked that boy right?

Is there word of a sequel yet? More movies like this one would be nice. Jump scares and gore get tiresome and old.

i jerked off and ate some ribs and ice cream

thank you based satan

why else did he come back naked and sleepy

praying for love in a lapdance and paying in naivety

Didn't she turn into a old woman who raped him?

>Black Phillip will never hook you up with one of his 1600s qt puritan witches
please, where can i find the book to sign my name in? ;_;

>walk of shame

how manlet are you

his snout looks like the ghost from nightmare before christmas

the irony of this whole idea though that edgy 'satanist' and atheist types don't get is that that very quality that makes Thomasin so deliciously attractive is facilitated/maintained by Christian values and traditionalism.

becoming sexually 'liberated' quickly makes a woman lose those qualities, if her sexuality isn't managed in a more responsible way, and she develops a 'wordly', jaded, slutty quality that lacks everything that makes Thomasin so desirable.

This is why traditional, 'classy' women are so much more sexy, even as they're more subtle in how they express sexiness in their self-presentation

Not at all. 6'2"/190cm.

Watched the Thunder game with a friend at some bar and got a number from a chick with a nice rack. She had weed on her which was a plus. I'm kinda numb to shit right now so it wasn't a big deal to me really. On the train home with the rest of the drunk losers right now. NY btw.

Also the father was excommunicated because he worshiped differently. Or something. I don't know I'm drunk but basically his pride got his family killed. They all sinned somehow, the fathers pride and the son looking at his sister like that. He didn't resist at the end because he thought God sent the goat to punish him (as well as cursed his crops), but it was really the Devil fucking with them all along in the form of a goat.

so you are a fucking twig or what? time to bulk motherfucker, you were barely even overweight before

They never specify, something to do with his prideful nature

I basically switched from drinking 2-4 5L boxes of wine a week and watching tv to smoking weed and running while listening to music/podcasts/audiobooks.

Settling this once and for all.

The Puritans wanted to break away from English Christianity, which was tyrannical, but otherwise liked the religion and wanted to "purify" it. The father was a Separatist, a small but vocal minority of Puritans, who not only wanted to leave England but totally overhaul the whole deal as it had become so corrupted. The Pilgrims of 1621 were Separatists, and the father was likely one of the stragglers that made it over with the first waves of Puritans in 1630 that settled in Salem/ the Massachusetts Bay Colony. Pilgrims/Separatists were looked at as holier-than-thou pricks, hence the claims of "prideful conceit." While people came over to America for religious freedom, having any sort of minor deviation from your plantation was social suicide. Being a Separatist in a Puritan plantation was not good for you.

Source: Director commentary and personal research. Screencap this and never ask again.

I actually rewatched this movie with a friend earlier today.

I initially thought that there was some sort of subtext that Sam was Thomasin's son, because I thought I heard her refer to someone as her 'son' at the beginning, but now I realize she, when praying to god, said 'thy son', referring to God's son, Jesus. It certainly simplifies things, as I wasn't sure where that addition would have fit into the story.

Actually thank you, good user. You're doing a great work.

Paint a red, upside down pentagram on your bathroom mirror. light 3 candles, shut the door, turn off the lights and look into the mirror and say "Satan thy summon thee"

This is true. Degenerates are just tryhard and edgy imo

Hard to say since there were multiple witches at the very end. Though the old witch took the baby and sucked the goats blood so who knows.

Spent the last few days doing literally nothing except watching Roland Garros. Comfy as fuck.

you didn't even poop? that can't be healthy

I only poop once a week for some reason. Probably because I mostly eat pasta and cheese.

this nigga lives deliciously

>The Witch 2: The Witchening
No thanks.

You sound like my ex-gf. She only had a cup of starbucks everyday. I used to tell her she already looked fine and would actually rather she gained a little more weight and she gave me a look like I just called her fat

But you did the opposite of that

VVittch vs Blair Witch

A direct sequel about Thomasin or something along those lines would be a terrible idea, but I'd like to see more literal adaptations of religious tales. I need more evil goats.

Good for you, m8

>2Witch2Sinful

>listening to audiobooks
>patrician

...

DELETE THIS

Pretty good Saturday. Went out and had brunch with my girlfriend, came home and watched baseball, went to my buddy's grad party, and then came home and played Smash with my roommate for an hour. Watching Charlie Countryman before bed.

What was the point of the incest scenes?

yes nigga. If ya girl says shes doing something and then tacks on the "it make you happy" she doesn't want to hear what you really think, she just wants you to say your supporting her decision, even if it makes you unhappy

>that scene where they're trying to exorcise the son
That was some intense shit lads.

The twins in that scene kill me haha.

Watched TWBB again. Saw it the first time 4 years ago, my opinion is still the same that the religious elements fall flat, DDL borders overacting in part and the end is a bit much. Other than that it's great


Why a sequel and not another film by the same director?

He already made it too long in the first place. Is there any substantial reason that we needed the last 10 minutes of the film?

I'd like to kill the twins if you know what I mean.

she didn't show her ass either it was obviously a body double

>Implying you wouldn't listen to audio books of your favorite stories narrated by the smooth voices of people like pic related

With the right narrator, audio books are great. Really great. Listening to Harlan Ellison voice AM is pretty amazing.

I got drunk all day and passed out on the couch. It's 2 am where I am and I'm basically waking up for the day even though I'll be lying here for hours and hours still.

>ambiguous ending meme
Showing the witch in the first five minutes raises the stakes for the characters. Delivering on that promise is the only logical conclusion.

Tons and tons of this.
Also the family coming from that Puritan community explains why the witches would want to fuck with the hem in the first place. Unbaptized babies (as they explain Sam was) are especially valuable since their souls are vulnerable, and baby fat is a key ingredient in "flying ointment" which helps them fly. They have to rub it not only on their sticks, but on their bodies, which explains that scene.
So that old witch could have also used the baby fat (which is a key ingredient in a lot of spells) to make herself young, or the hot witch could have just been another one of the 6 witches you see at the end of the film.

And to answer OP. I lived deliciously today by drinking rum, good beer, and purchasing Club crackers instead of just Ritz, purchasing ACTUAL BUTTER, and taking a hot shower, which may not seem like much, until you consider that my hot water heater had to be repaired by untrained hands. Once you've been without hot water for 2 weeks, it becomes delicious!!

I'm not saying it should be ambiguous. I'd prefer the ending with the goat/devil. The part with her walking into the forest and floating into the air was superfluous nonsense. Her signing the contract was closure enough.

No way man!!
If the movie had ended with her just signing the book, and fade to black it would havebeenso infuriating! At the very least it would have been anti climactic as fuck. She signs a book and then the credits roll??
Her dancing naked and floating for me was one of the best horror movie endings I can recall. The rest of the movie is all relatively believable non supernatural shit. Once Black Phillip shape shifts, we have all crossed over into the undeniable supernatural. The simple act of her floating was the perfect ending imo!

I just watched it with my ex and her boyfriend. Movie was really boring, it felt like it had no substance or actual plot, just watching a family die. It was literally just watching a family die and that girl fucking the goat. I don't get why you guys are so in to this film.

Quality post.

t. high school dropout

So, the last two minutes, then.

Even there, it's necessary to see that this wasn't some persuaded move on Thomasin's part. We see that she enjoys her decision, and the look on her face is one of relief, confirmation, ecstasy, and happiness. Ending with Black Phillip robs the audience of that experience, and ends on a note of, again, ambiguity that leaves the viewer thinking that she didn't *really* want to do it.

CAN'T UNSEE

fucking normie

Unsubtle cuckposter a shit

>drinking hot water by itself

You're not supposed to drink shower water

All I'm seeing in that pic is that the lanklett gets hoverhanded by only one qt while the manlet gets to feel up on both.

I TOOK A HOT SHOWER.
CANT YOU READ?

that's bad for your skin bro

Its the same water from your sink, its also the same water from the hose and your toliet

Living deliciously does not directly relate to what you eat or drink you retarded faggots. The other user was just saying how welcomed a hot shower is when you've had to take cold ones for 2 weeks.

The Witcher ;)

>he doesn't like butter

I don't believe most audience members thought she was hypnotized or coerced in the devil scene. Her signing the contract is not ambiguous in the least. You don't need double confirmation of her life as a vviwtch.

...

fuck off satan come back when you get cream cheese in hell

Fun...
Last night I spent an hour going through all of Anya Taylor Woods tweets.

>Loves books
>Doesn't seem to have a bf
>Doesn't seem to have many friends
>Loves music

Honestly, I'm pretty much in love now. She is my waifu.

How was this ever questioned? It's explained plain as day, even not knowing the detailed history that he simply had philosophical differences with his church and preached what he thought was right.

>I'm not saying it should be ambiguous. I'd prefer the ending with the goat/devil. The part with her walking into the forest and floating into the air was superfluous nonsense. Her signing the contract was closure enough.

In The Human Stain, one of the professors says he fails anyone instantly if they use the word closure.

You may be right, but you're coming at this from film school / story 101. And that shit is not art.

The ending we got had nuts and spooge. The entire film beforehand was a master class in ambiguity, and this absolutely carries on into the final scene. Not only that, it kinda doubles down on it.

To insist that the final scene has to be the reveal, the end, the 'closure' indicates an on rails, unimaginative dependence on a glancing knowledge of story. I used to make films in a local film making collective, and nearly everyone in the group fell for this Robert McKee bullshit, which was all you needed to confirm they had no talent or art in them at all, and that they were really better suited to the desk jobs they now all have.

The son had sinned too. By sucdombing to the lust towards his sister as well as givimg the mother another reason to suspect she was bringing sin to the family.

>Listening to Harlan Ellison voice AM

Based, based Harlan.
Where can I get these? I hate audio books but I would like to hear Harlan reading his stuff fo sho.

Its the same water from your sink, its also the same water from the hose and your toliet

>2016
>Not having a delicious combi-boiler

The son didn't succumb to shit.

To rationalise the fantastic is a form of autism, surely.

youtube.com/watch?v=Vgc5PDtIii8 Here you go user.

I enjoyed the taste of butter, too. I ate a whole stick.

Thanks user. I'm finally starting to get my life back on track.

I ate an icecream while masturbating. What do I win?

Noooice. Listening now. Fucker is real. Thnx bro.

Recommend more comfy spooky movies like this please guys

The Wicker Man
Picnic at Hanging Rock
The Blair Witch Project
The Ring
Rosemary's Baby
Carrie

Visited my grandmas, ate a lot of delicious food, met my cousin's babby, played with doges, drank beer.
It was a good day.

I watched the Witch. The Dad was kicked out of the community for being retarded and talking back to the judge. Imagine living completely living outside of all known civilization and not going insane.

The Puritans were impressive because they did not lose their wits when settling wilderness as they easily could have (Heart of Darkness). That's why they relied on such a strict code.

When the characters in the movie leave the community it's inevitable that the wilderness will make them crazy. It's what wilderness does.

is the blair witch really as spooky as people make it to be?

Btw speaking of flying ointment. Notice how they were all flying at the end?

It's because they got the fat from the twins.

I microwaved several scoops of Mayan chocolate ice cream until it melted, stirred it with a couple shots of Black Kraken and a single shot of fireball, then put two warm chocolate cupcakes in a bowl, poured the melted ice cream and rum over them like a sauce, then added a couple scoops of vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce.

truly delicious, brother

what happened to the baby and the twins? did they ded?
why was the old woman fucking herself with a stick?

is this a meme?