Name's Bond, Jane Bond

Name's Bond, Jane Bond
theguardian.com/film/2016/may/30/emilia-clarke-nominates-herself-as-a-jane-bond-contendor-and-dicaprio-as-a-bond-boy

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youtube.com/watch?v=1pUXH1Bye88
news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/female-rapists-you-really-dont-expect-it-from-a-woman-because-theyre-meant-to-be-on-your-side/news-story/d8d62770b613b46695326e3d73e0eb6f
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>female Bond
>goes against literally everything in Bond's character
Why even call it Bond? Can't they just make a female led spy thriller/action flick

Sweet baby Jesus

...

It's fucking ridiculous, if they make a female bond movie I will not see it, as I'm sure a lot of people won't, I'm a James Bond fan, if they don't do James Bond I won't see it, just like if they made Lara Croft a male I wouldn't see it either, cause I don't care
Why can't they just give the fans what they want? Why do they try to pander to a small minority of people?

>Why do they try to pander to a small minority of people?
Jesus Christ get your tinfoil hat off, it's just Emilia Clarke saying she wants to play Bond. No one with any actual say in the matter has talked about making Bond female.

this is what "cunts" do, they take what people love and cunt it up. they don't like when guys have something cool that guys worked hard and love on, so they come along and CUNT it up.no I'm talking about cunts not women CUNTS

Look at this misogynist cishet shitlord. Go get a friend, manbaby.

She should play it as transgender bond

what if a couple of guys say got hold of say Agatha Christie and turned her in Adam Christie,

Why is it okay for SJWs to disrespect over 50 years of character but when someone is white washed, it's the worst thing ever?

>unearth a corpse
>perform sex change surgery on it
That would certainly be something

Agatha Christie was a real person, not a character you stupid Sup Forumstard

Yes. Are you being dense on purpose? Changing Bond into a woman brings a fresh new perspective on the character and makes her someone that girls can look up to. Making a PoC character white is stripping them of all of their history and culture.

>Extended fight scene of her knocking out henchmen with her flabby chicken wing arms
>has to take a break running up stairs to catch her breath
>instead of a martini at the bar she goes for a booth and starts off with an appetizer sampler and a diet coke

I don't know why they don't do a spinoff sorta like a 009 or something like that with a female lead, or a No One Lives Forever flick full of 60s references but not as comical as Austin Powers

HIGH

>Bond is a "bad" role model for men
>She's a positive role model for women

>nominates herself
what a fucking beta lmao

your right I was mad and couldnt come up with any cool characters that are female that have long standing franchises that have stood the test of time

I always wanted to see a small, chubby Bond that has to look smug and shout at all times.

Is there any reason why Hollywood has such a problem with giving straight guys one thing to get their rocks off to, nowadays?

she can ride dragons on missions

>Muh ovaries

You are now aware that you live in a world, a terrifying world, where there are people right this moment who use terms such as "canon" and "cinematic universe" when talking about films and television shows.

A terrifying world where imagined characters on a screen are required, according to those who discuss them, to adhere to "ground rules" set out by the creators of said-characters. A terrifying world where those that discuss these characters and their actions, are actually enraged if said-characters deviate from the mannerisms expected of them, the mannerisms that may have initially been set in the pages of a comic book.

Think about that. A comic book. For children. Yes, pictures and words on the same page, which are meant to be read by children, that are actually read by adults who then bicker and express their frustration at film-adaptations of these comic books not being "faithful". Faithful to a comic book. That's supposed to be read by young children.

This is your world. This is the world of capeshit. Terrifying, isn't it?

>No One Lives Forever
>no one knows who owns the ip
>will probably never happen
Life shouldn't be so horrible

let the fans decided and I bet you it will flop harder that die another day

Ok. I know you're baiting but I'll humor you.

Bond is a rapist. Bad role model.

Female Bond would be a powerful female figure with a healthy sexuality.

How do you not get this?

THIQQQ

Hell you could have gone inside an Agatha Christie book and gone with Ms. Marple. She's not as big as Poirot but she's a thing, popular enough for a TV show in her own right.

Essentially the philosophy seems to be that any publicity is good publicity - they make a Jane Bond movie, or a Girlbusters movie, or a movie about Hitler starring Adrien Brody as Adolf which actually, now that I've thought of it, sounds like it could be good for a laugh- whatever it is, the point is that everyone will hear the buzz and pick a side, and then they'll HAVE to see the movie or risk being a hypocrite. The controversy guarantees that large volumes of seats will be sold, and it's a much better guarantee than you'd get from word of mouth that the movie was actually good, or even critical acclaim.

The problem is that that evolves into a philosophy of "if we only ever bake turd cakes, eventually people will confuse the turd with chocolate".

There's no need to produce a high-quality film, because a low-quality film with controversial hype is cheaper to publish, and therefore makes more money when a short burst of gullible rubes buy tickets for opening weekend to satisfy their curiosity.

Since the movie has no chance of lasting more than a fortnight of profitable viewings, it's in the studio's interests to save every possible dime and rely almost entirely on the press that they generate by raping last night's dinner out of some beloved existing IP they bought a decade ago.

They try not to pay any writers or big name stars (a good way to avoid such costs is to poach some ex-SNL "talent" out of their death spiral on the comedy circuit and tell them to improvise for 90 minutes, you may have noticed this trend became prominent soon after the writer's strike), and coast through the movie with a couple of cameras, renting a dolly and maybe a crane for a shot or two.

They insist it's because of movie piracy eating their profits, but ultimately it's a result of the increasingly predatory insurance companies gouging them for every cent they have, while the GFC no doubt crumbled most of the major studios' rainy-day funds into dust.

In that canse, I propose John Krasinski for Larry Croft.

what if she raped someone,
and for fuck sake when did bond every rape anyone

>just like if they made Lara Croft a male

I don't think Ghostbusters 2016 will make do good even with the buzz though

It's easy to get fake mad on internet, but in real life I doubt anybody actually cares and it looks boring and shit and nobody really wanted it to be made to begin with so it will bomb

>Mr Marple
>he's black and homosexual
>it's a smash hit

I could see it happening in a couple of years when the #putgirlsineverything meme dies.

What a beautiful man.

yer noooo, also lara croft ripped of Nathan drake when they did the reboot

But they didn't call him Lara Croft
And that's the point

Make all the female Bond clones you want, but why would you call it Bond when it's not
It's just shameless banking on the name

youtube.com/watch?v=1pUXH1Bye88

>what if she raped someone
>she
>raped someone
>she

I'm sorry user, but the hype train has no brakes. I wish I could agree with you, but history has shown that buzz=bucks, 100% of the time.

Nobody actually does care, not really, but it's a prime water-cooler topic that divides people neatly along age and gender lines - most people are aware of its existence, and that's enough; brand awareness is the first hurdle, and by far the biggest.

It will make money, and Paul Feig will not be sated. He will kill again, mark my words user.

don't see rape here I see two adults trying to out do each other and give in to each others passions

Would honestly pay to see this t b h

so women cant rape
news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/female-rapists-you-really-dont-expect-it-from-a-woman-because-theyre-meant-to-be-on-your-side/news-story/d8d62770b613b46695326e3d73e0eb6f

Ripley from the Alien franchise could work.

>not realizing that by simply having a penis you're committing 24/7 rape on all the women that do, have or ever will exist
You're raping your mother as we speak
And mine while we're at it, kindly stop pls

true that's one lets turn Ripley in to ryan
"get away from him you bastard"

While we're at it, let's just make a fucking Alien reboot, with the main character Allen Ripley

>Sup Forums
>talking about Lara Croft and Nathan Drake like they're original characters

What movie?

you got me I tip my ferdora

What we should really be focus img on is that the last few James Bond films have been bad, very bad.

I don't care who or what they get to play bond as long as it is a good film. I don't have any faith in them doing that.

>Sup Forums
>implying Indy is an original character

i see your John and i raise you a Henry

Good Bonds are traditionally 1:10 though

Traditions are important

Not today, Satan.

Yes, being straight (and white) is going against the flow nowadays

>"UGH! Quit white washing poc characters! Wah! If a character is black let him be black! Wah!"

>"Umm James Bond doesn't have to be a white male sweetie quit being racist and sexist :)"

Fuck social media these days. Technology has made it so fucking easy to make people complain about absolutely everything.

>this kind of ageism in current year
Old Bond when?

Really though I'd watch it

Why Jane? Isn't the female version of James Jaime?

Already addressed why you're wrong here. Please read the thread. :^)

>user in charge of reading comprehension

Why can't Warwick Davies be Bond?

Shut up Karl

No

Jane isn't either though

Cause he's a straight, white male.

You don't get to make fun of my disabilities, bully fucking shit

A remake starring Robert Downey Jr is already in production.

I nominate Moametal as the next bond.

Seriously, the next Bond should be a cute girl.

Next Bond should be anime to be honest

Just a few alterations to the setting: MI6 is actually an afterschool club, M is the instructor and James is just a cute girl student

post more of this senpai

>There are people out there who want this to be the next bond

God she's fat, what happened?

She ate too much

failed attempt at bulking. Basically she was told to get bigger muscles and tone her body, so she started eating like a pig. Then you're supposed to train hard, to make the calories into muscle mass, but she just stopped at the eating calories part.

She's got the burger part down.

>American Bond
>some goofy suburban raised guy like Krasinski

Don't celebrities get professional nutritionists or some shit?

He gets to ass-fuck Emily Blunt tho

>user in charge of reading comprehension

>she seriously thinks she could be Bond

sure, but maybe she's an independent stronk womyn who don't need no nutritionists or personal trainers.

wisslpb?

I don't give a fuck about James Bond and it would be actually kinda cool to see Gillian Anderson in the role for novelty reasons (expanding the Bond universe and having her play 009 or whatever in a spin-off would be the superior choice), but Khaleesi is simply a shitty actress with an inflated ego.

Can't wait for the sexism spin though.