Ok Sup Forums fags you've just been brutally murdered

Ok Sup Forums fags you've just been brutally murdered.
What fictional detective would you want solving your murder and why?

Sherlock is off limits. It's cheating.

Here's mine. Because he's an obsessive little asexual that won't stop until the jobs done.

Same

Columbo. Or Robocop
Maybe a team up?

Jack Reacher

...

Sam & Max

Columbo

He will torment and trick the perpetrator into admitting guilt

>freelance police isn't a real occupation
Why live

C O L U M B O
O
L
U
M
B
O

Why would I want a detective on them? If someone killed me, they did me a favor.

so do yourself a favor

PLEASE EAT MY BRAINS

Just one more thing, this.

Sherlock isn't cheating. He wouldn't be a brilliant detective IRL. He's a good detective because the guy who is writing him has written him to see things that aren't there. Sherlock is probably the worst detective and a shitty character.

Columbo on the other hand is a great detective. Sherlock's got nothing on Columbo.

Why does revenge matter once you're dead? Unsolved or solved, you're still dead.

because you're a ghost and can't move because you swore vengeance on the person who killed you

Adrian Monk

Barnaby

If I had the means, I'd arrange the most elaborate suicide masked as a gruesome murder that implicates a bunch of people

For fun

Like Gone Girl?

Raylan Givens, he gets shit done and there is a chance he'll do it off the book.

Nero Wolfe.

All my family would have to do is bribe Archie with milk.

You mean "Midsummer Murders" Barnaby? Man, expect additional 4 corpses before he finally catches the right suspect.

I would hope my family hired Encyclopedia Brown, he always solves the crime and he works for cheap.

Morse.

Brenda from The Closer

will graham

...

Batman

...

How's my corpse? I already told my family I want to be stuffed and I want to be sitting at the table with them for every meal

Inspector Clouseau

Lenny Brisco

the true detective: rust

Data Holmes

pushing daisies guy

Conrad or Christine

Monk because hes the only tv detective I know

Only correct answer.

I want to listen to Higgins's war stories.

Fuck sake, I read over the part where I'm already dead. I don't care any more. Let me rot in peace.

Meldrick Lewis.

cuck

Nice. Didn't think of these two.

wut

Fuck. Beat me to it.

>not picking Colombo

shiggy

Faacking noice

Damn kid. Ole skool herr.

Top kek

He'd avenge me in some sort of wacky fashion and that's all I could ask for.

Colombo, given he's literally a demon borne from the manifestation of guilt that the murderer feels, driving them slowly insane one step at a time until all the pieces come crashing down around them.

Harry Hole

Maybe this Will Graham. But the new one would end up making out with the killer.

No nig nogs please. The killer would just leave some fried chicken at the scene. Confuse the fuck out of them.

Kato!

Fantastic. 20 years from now it might be solved. Maybe.

as long as its cathartic for everyone involved

You'd kill yourself again if you had to watch him drink a cup of tea inside every goddamn manor with every goddamn mysterious old spinster
On the other hand, his wife and daughter were fine as fuck