Careful sir, the bucket is hot!

>Careful sir, the bucket is hot!

>those stock photos
I wonder if they knew how much free exposure they would get.

Thanks nigger

>bucket is hot

bullshit, it's never hot and they charge for each squirt of butter

Wheres my crablegs you no good scoundrel

Still not as hot as your home country of Africa.

>Ahh thank you.
>Are the crab legs in between the sour patch kids and milk duds fresh?

>Butter dispenser is jammed
>Kick the machine
>Butter squirts all over you
>Run to hit the showers before the movie starts
>Showers are closed for renovation
>Have to watch Civil War soaked in butter

Tips on avoiding this?

This. I work at a theater. The bucket isn't hot. The soft pretzels are fucking scorching though. One time an old lady bit into one and

bring a falcon to lick it off you

And what?! Dear God the suspense is killing me.

>Watching Hateful 8
>Intermission
>Spotlight shines on me
>Look up
>See myself and girl seated next to me on the jumbotron
>Kiss Cam animation pops up
>Whole theater watching closely
>Lean in to kiss this random 6/10
>Theater jester pops up out of nowhere
>Pours a bucket of ice water on my head
>Entire theater bursts out laughing
>Cover my head in shame and storm out
>Torrent a screener instead

Never going to a Magnolia theater again

>Showers
what kind of fucking theater do you go to?

I live in Turkey

>roaches
>indoor pluming
nice try

WHAT HAPPENED TO HER

>penis inspector is also attending the snack bar

>singles policy means I have to keep giving my place in line at concessions to couples and groups
>finally get my turn
>concessionist gets out the singles egg timer and sets it to 60 seconds
>I just want some candy
>singles policy means I can only get bottom shelf candy
>it's shit like Dots and Animal crackers
>Junior mints top shelf
>my minute is nearly up
>get a medium drink and some crackers
>my time runs out halfway through the drink poor
>concessionist gives me a half filled squirt since being a single means I couldn't get premium sodas like pepsi
>pay my $18 for my soda which is sticky and my animal crackers
>They're stale
>get to theater
>singles rows are only located in the very front or near the back with the big and tall row in front of it and the toddlers/kids row behind it
>watch movie in the front
>neck hurts
>speakers are too loud
>movie finishes
>theater plays the reminder that all singles are to wait until all couples have left and may be selected for theater cleaning
>get selected
>spend 30 minutes cleaning
>given a coupon at the end for a free upgrade to premium candy next visit if visiting as a singles again
>it expires tomorrow

...

>mfw I never buy concessions at the movies
>mfw I chug a couple quarts of water two hours before the movie to ensure hydration and enough time to piss without missing the show
>mfw I have no need for sugary fatty overpriced junk and can enjoy the flick by itself

Fucking concession cucks, I swear.

>Theater jester

BWOOOONG

Kek

We had an old theater actually sell seafood. It made the place smell awful.

what fuck dude i have enough trouble sleeping

And?

>go to favorite theater with brother and dad in between classes
>decide we're gonna see the new Xmen because like Singer I lust for twinks and comics
>purchase tickets online cuz reserved seating since last year
>fandango sends me barcode thing to scan from my phone
>forget phone in car, go back outside to get it
>dad and brother just walked through, didn't even talk to ticket people
>I just walk through
>not stopped

Man if I was an edgy fedora I could murder so many people in a movie theater

at least your theatre allows you to enter if you're alone. the singles policy at my theatre states that if you're found on the premises alone you are to be executed on the spot via anvil

>get my regular seat at the theater
>prepare myself to enjoy the movie
>pack of teenage girls come into the theatre
>they all sit behind me
>tfw spent the movie learning about why Brandy was in a fight with Kellsie and why Tim is trying to get his gf back

kill me

>when you piss your pants halfway through Angry Birds and they make you walk over the Cinema Coals as punishment

>Sir, please take the bucket.

>dad and brother just walked through
>without talking to anyone

So in other words your family is full of scumbags who didn't bother talking to anyone like they're above the law or some shit?

>Sir, please, the bucket is very hot.

>when you realize you have to have the post screening penis inspection and you're uncircumcised and you forgot to swab out your foreskin before going to the movies

>tfw you are forced to pay $20 extra and are banned from the theater for a month

Yeah pretty much

>S-sir, the bucket is so hot..

>SIR

>C-can someone turn on the AC

>getting into movie free
>scumbags

Umm no, the theater are scumbags for not checking for tickets and therefore running the risk of the cast, crew and studio not getting their full cut.

I'm sorry. I noticed a KFC smell coming from this thread. What's happening?

IM DYINGGGGGGG

FINISH IT

Fuck You!

>when you go to buy a ticket and the skybox seats are the only ones available

HOLD STRONG, FRIDAY.
LEST I BURN MY HANDS.

samefag

...

Another way to farm (You)'s not bad

WHAT'S THAT YOU TRYINNA TELL ME SOMETHIN?

...

>they don't sneak burgers into the theater via bowler hat

Fucking casuals I swear. Just put some wax paper on your head, add burgers, cover with hat. A feast awaits

stay woke senpai

Did she die?

One time I snuck in n out inside. I ate an animal fry and 3x3, shit was cash

>mfw the guy at the concessiom tells me the surgical room was booked for a birthday party

>be me
>15
>going to see movie with Big Brother and the cool Uncle
>gonna do an IMAX double feature at the Irvine Spectrum
>put on my smuggler's hoodie, the one with INSIDE pockets
>stack up on redvines and cans of dr pepper
>watch first movie
>We have a bathroom break
>I didnt have to go so I waited outside
>Out of nowhere the manager walks towards me
>"Young man, open up your jacket"
>"Why?"
>"Open up your jacket!"
>"No"
>"Open up your jacket or I am kicking you out of my theater for good!"
>I open up my jacket, exposing the bag of redvines
>"Throw those away outside!"
>I head outside to throw away some perfectly good bomb ass red vine licorice
>meanwhile my uncle and brother exit the bathroom
>where_is_user.png
>I enter the theater without my red vines
>I get back to waiting outside the bathroom
>hear a voice behind me
>"There you are, user, where did you go?"
>tell them story
>Uncle gets pissed
>He storms the concessions stand and looks at one of the high school part time employees dead in the eyes
>"Get your manager down here, now."
>Manager who made me throw away red vines comes down
>"What seems to be the problem? :)"
>My uncle practically tears him a new one, accusing him of "intimidating a minor" and "separating (me) from the two of them", making them worried, how they were looking all over the place for me
>"Well he brought outside food and-"
>Uncle would have none of it
>Manager goes full damage control
>"How about I give you some twizzlers for free"
>Manager only thought that this was all for a large bag of red vines

>I hate twizzlers