RAVENCLAW HAS NOT ONLY WON THE HOUSE CUP BUT ITS STUDENTS HAVE EXCELLED IN EVERY SUBJECT AND THEIR EXTRA CURRICULAR...

RAVENCLAW HAS NOT ONLY WON THE HOUSE CUP BUT ITS STUDENTS HAVE EXCELLED IN EVERY SUBJECT AND THEIR EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES + FUNDRAISING HAVE DONE SO MUCH FOR SO MANY PEOPLE.... HOWEVER...

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>saves whole world
>doesn't get bonus points
Now that would be fucking stupid

>It's a Dumbeldore Posting episode

>saves whole world
>doesn't even get a cash reward of $10,000 American dollars

For willingly presenting me with his sweet, sweet boypussy and comforting me in my old age, I award one thousand points to Draco Malfoy.

But because he is a filthy Slytherin I think we can all agree Gryffindor deserves those points more.
Congratulation Gryffindor

IN SECOND PLACE GRYFFINDOR WITH 400 POINTS

AND IN FIRST PLACE SLYTHERIN WINS WITH 500 HUNDRED POINTS

*SLYTHERIN BEGINS CELEBRATING*

HOWEVER...

FUCK SLYTHERIN 101 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR!!

>let's create a house specifically for "evil" students since we can totally tell what kind of person they are going to be at the age of 11
>let's constantly belittle them for being Slytherins because some assholes once were Slytherins as well so that means each and every one of them is literally Hitler
>let's put their common room in a fucking dungeon

And then they are surprised the Slytherins grow up to be dicks. I get that Slytherin was about ambition and success at all costs, but they were simply viewed as just evil in the books.

Remember Sup Forums
Only you can save our board from the poopskin Sup Forumswitter cancer.
twitter.com/herssoncruz/status/741817818975342592

that's because rowling is a shit writer and a terrible person

t-bh i dont even care enough about this cesspool to actively do anything to "save" Sup Forums(also shit like that never works). best thing to do is to leave the board, do other stuff and come back in half a year or so.

HOWEVER...
you, dragon malfoy, were in one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

>Not trying to get the least amount of points, possibly even negative points.
These fucking kids, man.
Way to serious.

That would be hilarious
>Get everyone in the house to cause mischief
>Whenever asked something in class give a really stupid answer
>Stay out late and get caught on purpose
>Smoking fat doobies with Hagrid and coming back into the castle smelling like shit and weed
And it has to be Hufflepuff or no deal.

>The Harry Potter series
What did Dumbledore mean by this?

Why is Stephen King reviewing the boy wizard, Harry Potter?

Who is this Rowling character that Dumbledore speaks of? They aren't mentioned anywhere except for this speech.

>do other stuff and come back in half a year or so.
So you can make it more like your home board?

Dumbledore pocketed all that for himself and got it converted to guineas or whatever the fuck the wizard currency was.

The Slytherin common room was fucking nice, though. Also some weird stuff comes up if you google "Slytherin Common Room"

It's not even in Murica you fucking retard

>starring Seth Rogan

The whole school looks super comfy. They did a good job with Hogwarts

>Seth Rogen portraying a 16 y/o

who gives a shit?

Looks damp and cold, fuck that I'd rather stay in Hufflepuffs common room next to the kitchen and have Elf slaves bring me food.

>You will never be a shy Hufflepuff in a secret gentle femdom relationship with an outgoing Slytherin

jdimsa

Not you redditors that came here after seeing epic caps of baneposting on facebook thats for sure

The trick is to be as anoying as possible without getting kicked out of Hogwards

>you'll never have an invisibility cloak and roam the halls jerking off over all the cute girls
>you'll never hear a Slytherin scream with disgust as she slips in a puddle of your semen

Fund it

For a tolerant house of hardworkers and wizard labourers, Hufflepuff certainly has no qualms utilizing elf slavery more than the other houses.

Not even Slytherin was as indulgent.

dude what

Imagine the look of disgust on some pure blood's snooty face

this dumbledore meme is the funniest shit Sup Forums has come up with in a while

Having the invisibility cloak would be fucking sweet my man.
>Following girls into the restrooms
>Blowing loads on their skirts
>Rubbing your cock on their faces as they sleep
>If they wake up from the frottage its as if you were never there, but you are watching from the corner

Elves are below dogs, honestly. Disgusting things, they should be glad they're even allowed to serve us as slaves.

HOWEVER..

Not at all
Even this image is quote unquote "funnier" than this ""meme"", Sup Forums

Professor slughorn seems like more fair representation of a Slytherin to me. Brilliant, charming, highly self centered and driven to be seen as successful. not evil, but morally flexible when the reward is great enough.

did you draw that? because im afraid it isn't funny at all

And for being little shits, five hundred points from Slytherin

Those traits could also be very Griffindor, though.

You shouldn't really be with someone if you think their hobbies are stupid and tell them so to their face.

BECAUSE HARRY POTTER IS A MEMBER OF GRYFFINDOR AND NOT RAVENCLAW I THINK ITS RIGHT TO GIVE HIM A COUPLE THOUSAND BONUS POINTS

CONGRATS HARRY AND HOUSE GRYFFINDOR

Please delete this.

I agree. The fundamental difference between them is selfishness vs selflessness

It would've been better if the main characters were in different houses instead of making Gryffindor the good guys, Slytherin the evil guys and Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw irrelevant.

Agreed. Then each house would have been more deeply explored.

I'm guessing that's what they're gonna aim for in the reboot.

Maybe you should read actual childrens literature instead of books if you want something good

iirc the original plan was to have Ron in Gryffindor, Hermoine in Ravenclaw and Harry in Slytherin. With Neville as a fourth member in Hufflepuff.
But Rowling was unable to make it work so she just put all of them in Gryffindor

I took an english course about childrens literature in university. The first book actual fits the mold perfectly for what is considered classical Victorian childrens literature.

HOWEVER WOT?
I SWER U ARE ONE CHEEKY CUNT MATE, SAY IT TO MY FACE AND NOT ONLINE AND WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. I SWER 2 CHRIST I'LL HOOK YOU IN THE GABBA. YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR MOUTH OR IM CALLING ME HOMEBOYS RITE NOW PREPARIN FOR A PROPER RUMBLE. THA RUMBLE THATLL MAKE YOUR NAN SORE JUS HEARIN BOUT IT. YER IN PROPER MESS YA NOB HEAD.

youtube.com/watch?v=e9n9wswKMec

reported to spew

i keep reading those threads hearing his voice

is there even a prize for winning the house cup

Man I'd lick her butt

You get to keep the house cup in your common room for a year

You might be able to pull that off with the freshmen, maybe up to third year. Try it with someone older and you'll get you ass hexed. Also, male students are not allowed in the women dorms.

The house that wins gets their banners hung in the main hall all year.

Wasn't pic related one of the best in his school, though?

underrated toast

Obviously not better at dueling than harry

fucking ate it immediately

Harry also death cucked him by fucking his sideways pussy

Keeping the Slytherin house didn't make sense from the start, considering what kind of a person it's founder was and what kind of ideals he promoted, he literally left the school saying he left a monster inside it who will kill mudboolds one day

It's like germany keeping statues of Hitler and other nazi symbols after ww2.

Could've been in literally any house really. Isn't he the only Hufflepuff of significance in the entire story too?

Is this a joke? Why is it considered trash among real scholars then?

>fucking ate it immediately
And against bloody Pettigrew.

funnily enough, doesn't the actor portraying Draco Malfoy have more success in Hollywood than Harry's and Ron's actors?

It's like choosing the right house, ambition and desire for success over bravery and honour, lead to better future employment prospects

They were more just upper class kids in a frat. Obviously they are a comment on people at the top of the british caste system. You need the rich kids. Half the reason Harry was a prime canidate was that he was technically rich as fuck and his dad was a pure blood so he had a pure blood last name.

So it's basically nothing?

Wow.

There are also the Lockhart fanboy that got snek'd in year 2, the Ernie guy that talked shit about Harry in every year and Zacharias Smith who was a twat.

You realize the houses were originally started by the people they're named after right? Hogwarts was originally 4 great wizards and witches who came together to form a school. Salazar Slytherin was a magic supremacist and only took purebloods with promising talent and ambition.

Slytherin eventually left Hogwarts but the other 3 kept his house and preserved his intentions for it out of respect for him.

HOWEVER I WILL NOW COME UP WITH BULLSHIT POINT AWARDS REGARDING CIRCUMSTANCES THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE REGULAR SCHOOL YEAR

What else do you want? Maybe I'm out of touch with school competitions, what do kids get if they win nowadays?

Who gives a shit about what a bunch of useless and unemployable academics have to say?

Because it's not 100+ years old.

Why did Dumbledore and Harry keep telling everyone that Voldemort was the one that killed Cedric?

SLYTHERIN WINS!

HOWEVER..

GRYFFINDOR GETS 5000 POINTS BECAUSE... FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY

No joke. Childrens literature was pretty much non existent until Victorian times and the industrial revolution. The stories that evolved all had the same pattern, the first Potter book fits it to a tee. You can google the details if you're really interested. The first book is the only one that really follows the formula.

As for why it's considered trash by real scholars, it might be because only the first book really adhered to the traditional formula, which is why it might be considered good. Even then it didn't bring anything new to the genre. Literary scholars might just dislike the fact that it is in all sense a childrens book, but the series gained a large adult following who believe they are actually reading great prose and storytelling, when they are literally holding a book meant for children in such high regard.

He acted on Voldy's orders, it was like
>Yo, wormtail, body that fool
And he did it, the absolute mad man

a blowjob from the principal

Hogwarts had a population of 1000 pupils
4 houses
250 kids per house
Commons rooms can hold no more than 8 main characters at any one time.

BRAVO JK ROWLING!

Would you want everyone to know the best student in your school got destroyed by fucking Pettigrew? You'd lose all your funding right there.

Pizza, ice cream, candy, small toys.

Because they have an agenda.

You get to talk shit all year about how your team is reigning cup champions

It's almost like people enjoy reading fun stories and don't have any academic appreciation for literature, making scholarly opinion on the matter pretty much worthless.

>ywn smoke fat magic-herb doobies with hagrid
you've made me sad

Bragging rights. Probably meant a lot more to the founders since they were more competitive with each other.

Not to mention that Dumbledore wanted to use Cedric's death as propaganda so everyone would believe that Voldemort was back.

The story isn't as effective if they have to mention that Cedric got killed by one of Voldy's lackeys, who is supposed to be a dead wizard hero.

I was just throwing ideas out there. I only had to read the first book for the course. After it was done I ended up reading all of them because I was enjoying them to some extent. I like the earlier movies as well, that's why I'm in this thread.

>ywn open a magic portal and fuck yourself in the ass
Feels bad man

Yep
>make relatable paradigms to childrens lives in the book

>it's a harry's first day of school episode
>it's a harry feels isolated episode
>it's a harry has to study for an impossible test episode
>it's a harry feels mistreated at home episode
>it's a one of my teachers is mean episode
>it's a older people have control over me episode
>it's a I have a bully episode
>it's a people won't believe me episode

Maze runner and cirque du freak and all of them follow these same guidelines. All you have to do is make a parallel to coming of age issues with harder shit than real life so kids feel like they don't have it so hard but relate to the characters.

Dude, there's like 200 adult wizards total.

I remember when Sup Forums scraped by to win against reddit in Tribes. There was no prize, but it was worth it.

>tfw have giantess fetish
>tfw imagine Hagrid's dad fucking his mother

Go to bed Draco.

>rumble
>not ruck
Good effort, yank.

T H I C C

When the students get older it seems that they stop giving a shit about it. Seems more of an incentive to make the first years behave and study hard.

>fireplace
>underwater