/brit/

haha same edition

yeah she's a buff ting too Tbh

1v1 on rust anyone?

>being a virgin past 18

how?

what on earth are you doing

well, he's had a lot of practice fucking the europeans

I'm probably like a strong 6, maybe a very low 7 2bh

i've got half a can of kronenberg here from friday if you want?

Aye. Sounds about right. The problem I have is that I call myself a 5 (or average) but see girls that are a 5 as lower.

I've swiped left on loads and loads of girls that are probably "my league".

good post
reddit tier post

AND DROVE.
AND LAUGHED.
AND HOWLED.
AT HIMSELF.

...

homeschooled

finally sorted it out last year though haha

good edition

>tfw have the virgin breath

literally cannot talk to anyone because they start gagging

Sound lad

not sure of my rating
i got an 8 on /fit/ once, but i don't want to post my picture here now cos i'm certain some people I know browse here

you are slouching right now

>tfw have the virgin chat

tried pickup lines but they don't seem to work

how do you know?
odds are extremely unlikely

what is the oldest you can be a virgin and be at least somewhat socially accepted?

i'd say 22ish

Fuck off all of you normie twats.

RRREEEEEEEEEEEE

ANGRY that i missed the first post and ANGRY that you skipped over all the other lyrics


hope you think about what you've just said
and how STUPID it had sounded

I was homeschooled and shagged my teacher all the time

Want to play some FIFA but the virgin shits are hammering me.

"are nige" is beyond a Reddit tier meme

Cringe at all the spotty autists using it

>tfw you accidentally press one of the board links along the bottom and it's invariably some gay anime pony shit
easy to forget how weird the rest of this site is

>i'm certain some people I know browse here
i also think this

But I'm 25 and people don't care about my virginess

jay

hope those are plastic boobies

>he does the virgin goals

18 is the last acceptable year for sure

Back when I frequented Sup Forums, it was always a joy to accidentally end up on /u/.

between 18 and 21

Your mum?

how many people really know

same

got rumbled once and I'm paranoid that the person is about and would notice me if I posted a pic

i am not spotty
nor autistic
nor a reddit user

please apologise now

lost my virginity at 14

to who? oh she goes to a different school you don't know her

miraculously lost my virginity at 15 and then had regular sex with the gf until i was 17
haven't had a single DROP of pussy since then lads
i'm nearly 20 now and a fully fledged gymcel

Hungry

probably padding desu
although I have some that the janny wouldnt approve of and it might not be

GOOD taste

>stares at you as you sleep

Not many, but I'm just guessing 2bh

HE WAS A BOY
SHE WAS A GIRL
CAN I MAKE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUS

lost my virginity a few weeks before I met my first gf

even though I had only had sex once and to a totak stranger at that, my gf still weirdly thinks I would not have been very attractive to her if I met her as a virgin

losing the label is important

*springs out my bed like a jack in the box*

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*virgin lands at her feet and immediately starts slobbering over them*

Just lie you dopy little pillock

cishet scum

>what is lying
literally can't understand why anyone worries about this. there is no perceptible difference between a man who has had sex zero and one times

>24, INTJ engineer 2 degrees
>the most khv who ever walked this earth
I'm like a walking stereotype. Should try OKC but I have no friends so profile pics are hard tbqh my lads

>he virgin types
normies know

*whips out phone*

oh yeah mate what's her name and school I'll bring up her facebook go on lad I want to see her

nah not really
at that point it's a bit weird but as long as you're not a socially awkward loser you're not gonna be properly looked down upon

Lost my virginity at 17

Gf didn't believe I was a virgin after I first shagged her. She got angry at me for lying

Tbf no one believed I was a virgin because I used to get with a lot of girls

>tfw phrased it to make her think im an important busy man and that she was the one who was asking to take time out my schedule to see her
hehehe.... like PAWNS in my game of CHESS... or better yet mahjong... yes, yes

this

my first gf was a lot younger and I'm pretty good looking so she assumed I wasn't a virgin and I just played along.

post it to imgur

meant to post this with this image
it seems my mental capacities have been exhausted by the sheer psychic forces i just exerted over another person

how much younger

I'm genuinely a pretty good looking lad, have been scouted by modelling agencies before but could never do it because of uni. The problem for me is that I'm somewhat of a late bloomer, and by the time I my facial features started developing in secondary school I was already somewhat of an outcast. Because of this I never talked to any girls, and after that I dropped out of uni for a year and never left my house. Now that I'm back at uni my social skills have improved drastically when it comes to making friends (with girls too) but I just have no clue how to 'seduce' (for lack of better term) a girl. Only times I've had sex was when the girl was not completely sober and thus I don't really count it. I can banter with my mates and am pretty outgoing, don't have a lot of problems talking to people, just not a charmer.

Blogpost over.

just bought a jar of jalapenos
they're so nice I might eat them all straight from the jar

proto gf thought I was inexperienced but wasn't a virgin the first time we did the sex

5 years

(not a nonce)

>2 years for what was clearly murder

???

Really am quite fond of burgers lads
By which i mean burgers not Burgers.

>tfw have to spend all day at work literally a metre away from 9/10 girl on my team who isn't interested in me
it's unbearable lads. how do I stop fantasising about her?

Rosie Webster is back lads

19, haven't lost virginity
will probably lose it when i start at uni in the summer though so i'm not bothered
it's literally never bothered me, maybe i'm just in denial but i'm completely okay with it

I get angry at girls at the bar lol, really need to stop drinking so much

enjoy your shits

stop being a beta twat and get over it

Probably argued he was just shoving potatoes in places and didnt know what the flue was

I'm on opiate painkillers lad
this might just stop my stomach cramps

>how do I stop fantasising about her?
>just stop fantasising about her
great thanks

>he was just shoving potatoes in places
like yer da?

Me too, except it bothered me about a year ago

*shoves potatoes in places*

I lost mine in the summer between year one and year two to a girl I met on a trip that took place during the summer that the uni arranged

don't worry about it too much. I know some people who are still virgins and they don't give a toss about it. No (decent) people are going to judge you over it

this is important lads

just got one of these bad bois for a cheap 750,000 quid

alri dad

It took me three shags to actually cum from sex for the first time

1st shag: spontaneous shag with a slag, had to stop cause her mates were looking for her and it was cold outside

2nd shag: spontaneous shag with a date, had to stop cause we noticed lots of blood. Initially thought it was her on her period but actually the blood came from my willy due to friction scratching without lube. she had to get her bus

3rd shag: planned shag with the date from shag 2. went well, romantic and passionate and rough and I came inside

>tfw 25
>tfw look at photos of me from six years ago and my skin looks significantly younger
I am literally getting old

*kills some mandem*
heh, nothing personal

*shove a potato in a man's gob and two mini potatoes up his nostrils*

*watch as he dies*

*get 6 months suspended because I was just shoving potatoes in places*

Popeyes is the best fast food chicken place but they've been in decline recently

injured in an accident at 14 and incapacitated. I went from masturbating 2 times a day to zero. After 2 weeks, I was frustrated and took it out on my parents. My mum and dad knew what was up and talked about my mum "helping" me masturbate. The approached me one afternoon and When my mum said, I know you are frustrated and why you are frustrated would you like some help masturbating. Blood was rushing in my ears and I said yes but I really didn't know if she meant what I thought she meant. I was excited and confused. She said that she would take care of me when I went to bed. Hours away.

...

You won't.

t. Final year of uni and thought the same thing

In the last series where Walter White lives in that little shed building in the middle of nowhere by himself. That's where I want to live. Ultimate comfy before it's time to off myself.

Why was her vagina so dry?

>the blood came from my willy due to friction scratching without lube
fucking hell mate what the fuck

Tfw couldnt cum from sex with the gf at all

Fucjed her 4 times a day never even came close

Most online guys who think of themselves as 5s are probably 3s fyi

do you not have control over your own mind?
do you just let fee-fee's and natural instincts take over?

immigration idea: adopt an american accent and become a homeless person in new york city

i unironically consider doing it sometimes

anything is better than this

looking back on it this was clearly a ted kaczynski reference, right?

I shout at girls on nights out fairly regularly because they always push their luck

Got to the front of a queue for the cashpoint before and this girl just pushed right in front of me

Called her out and she carried on so I started ripping into her for being a dirty slag walking around without shoes on a wet night in town

Started trying to give it back to me, called her a fat cunt and she started crying.


Many cases like this!