Secrets thread

Secrets thread.

Share/vent.

I'm trans and I like dicks

cars friend tried to mother me in the back of my finger

i've catfished multiple people just because sometimes i don't feel like getting off to porn

ne of the girls from a clan I used to be in has the hots for my buddy, who is married. Wife is suspect and then buddy invites her down. First time actually meeting in person, 5/10 face but 7/10 body. Slender but curves in the right spot. Her personality is shire though, know it all and opinionated.

Buddy's wife has belly chub but an ass and set of tits that would make niggers commit genocide over.

Since the clan mate has been there, shes Ade it apparent she wants my buddy, and buddy is making it worse by "being hospitable" as in he waits for his wife,yself and our room mate (3 people living here) to leave and then takes chick out to restaurants and shit.

Buddy claims he doesn't want it but wife is upset and heavily suspicious.

Secretly I fantasize she leaves him and ends up coming to me for "comfort", and I get to rock her world and plow that beautiful ass.

>clan
A what?

A video game clan, just another word for guild

I tell people I'm productive but I sleep all day

I unironically like memes

Also i used to sniff my lil sisters used panties when i jerked off.

How lil are we talking, you sick piece of shit?

2.3 trillion in genocide

that's how much of a punk bitch you are and I cleaned up my end a long time ago

get tortured again faggot

What?

> Be... me, 7-9 yo, in elementary school.
> Have black friend, name is Wil.
> Wil is the nicest kid you'd ever meet. EVER.
> Fridays in PE, usually we have freeday. (Big fan of the 'scooter' boards. btw)
> Friends teach us this cool trick with Hula Hoops, where basically you turn them sideways and they glide like a frisbee.
> We all face the opposite side of the covered cement, facing the chainlink fence where no one was.
> I remember this one trick from last friday where I throw the hoola hoop and it bounces off the fence and right into my hand.
> "user, show them your cool trick!"
> I throw it with the force of a thousand suns, it bounces and goes right above my head.
> Hits Wil right on the nose and knocks him out, everyone stops what they're doing to look at the blood gushing from his nose.
> Tried to look as innocent as possible and distance myself from friends.
> Wil is taken to local Hospital and never heard from again, I tell my parents this.
> Months later, his parents invite everyone in our friend circle to his party. Father goes around questioning who did it to his son.

> MFW, tall black man comes to me and asks who fucked his son up.

I'm a beta wannabe cuck. I wish my wife would fuck other men but I don't even have the balls to tell her. When I fuck her I fantasize that she's getting it from a random stranger or a big black dude she picked up in a bar. It's the only way I can get off.

Not much younger than me, we are both adults. Not proud of it, and dont do it anymore. She leaves them in the bathroom we share, althoguh ive moved out.

Oh, well, that's just normal. Good on you for having a conscience and stopping though

I have a small dick and I'm afraid I will never have a stable relationship that I want because of it.

Either a potential SO will leave me before we become official because of it, or my committed SO will cheat on me because of it

I try to be a generous lover and make women cum, but they always want the dick more than the act of cumming in the end. And I have had issues with ED so that hasn't been easy either :/

I love my gf so much but I feel like she's slowly slipping away. My biggest fear is losing her since she's literally the only reason I'm still alive but I feel like she doesn't love me like she used to anymore. If I lose her I will fucking kms

Sounds like you should fuck bitches.

If you smother her with attention out of your fear of losing her, you will lose her. Especially if she becomes aware of how desperate you're feeling about the situation.

Talk to her you mong,bottling up emotions is never a good idea

These niggas both right. Give her some competition. It'll will keep her from fleeing. Doting on her in an act of desperation will only drive her away. Motivate her to want to be with you. No one wants a tryhard overbearing SO.

convinced my ex gf to fuck my dog

Her Kik is acuate92, idgaf I'm drunk

having server problems maintain relationships and they all ways seem to self destruct

Post video, faggot.

I havent had sex in years REEEEEEE

entering relationship zone with my freind. She doesn't want anyone to know, but she has no problem being way more then platonic with my freinds in site. I know she really likes me but i have no idea what to fucking do.

Last year, I moved in with my grandparents to save money while I'm in college. Since then, I've been having an affair with my grandma.

...

I made a spy video of my sister naked once then felt really guilty and deleted like a dumbass. It was perfect too, boobs, butt, washing her body in the shower.

I'm a real piece of shit

>22
>Have gf of just over a year
>She gets pregnant
>Guilt trip her into getting abortion
>Go to clinic in Brisbane
>Men cant stay you have to leave, she will be able to be picked up in 2 hours
>Go outside, hail taxi
>Take me to a brothel dude
>Go and fuck a prostitute, even get her number for out of hours incalls
>Pick up GF, go home and cuddle her all afternoon while she cries

Same GF a year later
>Go to Thailand for holiday
>She isnt feeling well
>You can go have a couple drinks with those Canadian dudes we met yesterday, i dont mind
>Go out with them for like an hour
>Find bar girl
>Fuck and cum inside with no condom
>Go back to hotel, sleep and cuddle

Different girl, 5 years later
>Date and cheat on the regular
>Once with a girl she works with
>In the last 5 months i get on tinder
>Find 22 year old girl with daddy issues, im 34
>Fuck her on the regular
>Wife is cool as shit with porn, i regularly save pics from 'pics you shouldnt share'
>Insert and rename my photos of my fuck toy
>Wife has blown me several times while we look at her photos

I feel zero guilt for any of this

Ask me anything, i swear im into the 250-300 range of times cheated, mostly tinder one nights or escorts on my lunch breaks at work

Post pics, dick.

When I was 5 or 6 me and my 7 year old cousin took turns having our 4 year old cousin suck us off. For the longest time I felt horrible for what I had done, then 10 years, roughly, later, me and my older cousin were talking and he brought up how much he'd want to fuck our little cousin. At first I was super hesitant on accepting it, but after a while I really wanted too and we spoke about what we'd do to her in depth. After that I was jerking off allot to the thought of railing my cousin, who was like a 7/10 and still is.

I didn't really jerk off to anything crazy, super vanilla stuff, however once I began to jerk off to incest with my cousin, I began to go down a dark hole of just weird shit and got addicted to it.

I've gotten over it, but it still kinda haunts me.

Post dick pics

It's not something I planned. It's just one of those weird things that happened.

Dick post, pics.

How old is she? How does something like that happen?

You're being awfully coy for a guy who just admitted to fucking his own grandma.

i used to suck dick for money when i was only 13

Want to get my daughter drunk enough to fool around with her or atleast take pics to jerk off to later

Ausfag here.
I actually won a spot 10 keno about 2 years ago. winning approximately 1.3 million dollars
I won it while I was on my lunch break at work when I went down to the petrol station to get some lunch and fill my car up. I thought I'd put on a cheeky spot 10 while I ate my lunch....turns out I won.
I was screaming internally but I didn't want anyone to know I had won anything so I took my ticket, rang up work with some bullshit excuse and went home. I rang the lotto commission up and had it all verified and account details sorted etc... within 2 weeks I had about 1.1 mil in my bank (after tax)
I never told my family, I essentially got an accountant involved to make this money work for me. I ended up buying some properties. One of which is in an isolated mining town where the rent is ridiculous ($700 a week) an apartment for myself and some car park spaces in my major city, people need to rent those things and for 50k a pop to own you can make about $80 to $100 per week in rent.
all in all now years later and always on the look out for investments I make about 2k a week normally.
My family still think I work a deadend job and that I owe the bank heap of money for the Toyota 86 I drive.
I'll never tell them.

68.

And I really don't know. I guess sexual tension. I'm 20, was 19 when I moved in. And while free rent and food is awesome, it's not easy to say to a girl, "Hey baby, let's go back to my grandparents place and bang!"

My grandpa is damn near 80 and hadn't fucked my grandma in almost 20 years. She's been thinking about having an affair for a long time but was never able to to through with it until I came along. And I'm not picky, I'll stick my cock in anything. And I like dirty shit, and fucking your grandma is pretty fucking dirty. And she knows I won't tell anyone because no one wants to be known as a grandma fucker. But she looks damn good for her age and we both get off on how taboo it is. Plus I can bareback that shit and don't have to worry about STD's or knocking her up.

I turned my stepdaughter into an omegle whore ...

Now she's showing tits, pussy and whatever she's asked to on it ...

Never found her on ML on any other site yet though :/

can i have like 100? im poor as fuck

nah

aw. I tried.

I've manipulated men into buying me dildos and pizza. I even got one to pay for my internet for 3 months, and I never talked to him after he paid for it. I lied about where I lived so he would think he could drive over and bang me, but I just directed him to my ex's house, and promptly blocked him on everything.
I still have a month left of free internet.

I'm in love with Melissa Benoist from Super Girl.

I'm a 35 year old man.

How did he pay for your Internet if he couldn't even tell your provider where you live? I smell something fishy.

You don't need the address.

Anchovies?

I lie to people about having sex. I just can't when all my awesome friends are banging lots of bitches and like everybody in my friends group expects same from me. I'm not terrible at girls it's just that i'm not the most attractive guy you'll ever meet and that gives me a hard time getting the bitches. I haven't had sex for like more than half a year. Shit even now i'm lying. More than a year.

Are you me? Because I'm the same. I don't even like superhero bullshit, but I watched the whole damn first season on netflix in 2 days. Godawful show, just horrible. But she is so adorable. I just want to kiss and cuddle her.

I keep binge watching the Merrell Twins.

lmao most men are so fucking stupid, mfw they actually think they are supperior to women. I'm a man btw

So how do you get Internet service if your provider doesn't know your address?

Ya basically! I like superhero movies, not too much on shows because they usually suck. I tried some clips of Supergirl on youtube, and man, it's a bit to cheesy for me.

But Melissa is effing cute. Also, Fappening pics help.

Provider knows, but financial only works with customer id, kiddo.

Stop perpetuating rape culture.

...

Not gonna lie, I watch their vids every Tuesday, and listen to them on Younow when they're live when I'm at work (so I can only listen on headphones, but not watch).

They're just so happy, and they make me happy too. Whatever it takes to fight this depression I guess.

M or F?

Of course, your address never shows up on the bills he pays.

Never! I'm going snuggle-rape the shit out of her!

I know right? It's honestly not even a sex thing. They're just so sweet and happy I just want to be around them.

Only males can have dicks, you faggot.

samefagging this hard

Yep, it was clearly a statement about how user sucked his own dick for money he paid himself. I hope you don't breath with that same brain.

Circle economics. Beautiful.

They're pretty conservative because they're Christian, so I've never found their contents sexual. But when you watch enough of them you really feel like you know them.

I'd love nothing more than to hang out with Roni and drop dad jokes with her all day. Nessa is the definition of that cute girl that does cute things and cries over sad movies that every Sup Forumstard wants for a waifu.

But seriously. I can't not smile whenever Roni laughs. And she laughs at everything.

Have you seen her hardcore pics?

I masterbate a lot

Those are fake! She's a sweet, pure, innocent thing would never do such things!

(At least not with anyone but me!)

How is that a secret?

I masturbate a lot... at work.

I havent materbated in weeks.

When he does it, he's thinking about guys.

now gettin caught meant getting fired but I figured i'd cum it all by the time I retired

Roses are red,
Rocks are hard,
I can't cum when you make faces,
Like a fuckin retard.

There's not enough fedora mes on the internet for this post

I have just spuffed a relationship of three years up the wall by being too nice, there is good advices here.

Fuck some bitches.

Lulz

I'm a feminist

BOOOOOOOOOOO

He doesn't get a fucking bill. He just paid it to the providers bank account with the customer id as reference.

Me too. So what? It's fun.

Raped 8 villagers (different times) while on a peacekeeping mission

Me and my gf went out with a girl from tinder yesterday. We had two threesomes with girls before, but that's the first one we actually went out if.

Nothing happened but the nigh was awesome, the girl is super fun and everyone seemed to get along very well.

It's almost scary, lucky she's from another city, otherwise this could go wrong in so many ways so fast

Me too. So what? It's fun.

When and where?

On a mission, in a village.

What colour were they? Every think you'd get caught?

Timor 06

Shit skin of course. Never worried about getting caught.

I can only cum from jerking off to girls on chaturbate. How do I fix myself Sup Forums? I wanna be able to cum from sex D:

Dont jerk it for awhile. Then have sex

how did you do that? how old is she?

I think I'm evil. Dubs proof

Tricked her with fake webcam the first time with chat software that requires no account (utox or something) and told her everyone do that with link on vid sites to prove it and told her about omegle and made sure she bookmarked omegle ...

She waited quite a few weeks before going on omegle and she got herself naked on the first time ... She even fell on some fake webcam, so i expected to see her on ML ...

tried that, no dice. maybe the condom is the issue...