Theater Trashing General /TTG/

Welcome to Theater Trashing General /TTG/.

Primarily for the purpose of being a better trasher on the theater.

>Clean it up edition.

flacons and penis einsections and single policies

am i funny yet op

CLEAN IT UP
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bump

>go to food court
>order large curry from A Taste of India
>beef vindaloo fucking nummies
>brown stringbean behind the counter says "I hope you enjoy"
>fucking immigrants stealing jobs
>walk up to the cinema
>order my tickets, choosing my seat specifically to be at least 1 chair away from anyone else so I can relax
>walts past ticket checker
>"Hey I need to check your ticket"
>laugh and apologize "you win this time kid"
>he looks at my steaming hot vindaloo
>"You can't take that in sir"
>laugh again "haha okay you got me this time kid"
>turn around and put the rectangular box under my shirt
>it feels really hot on my tummy
>walk to the room where they have the movie in at
>lights have already dimmed but I find the right row
>sit down in my specifically chosen seat
>what the fuck
>why am I so hot
>my dick feels so hot and wet oh my god
>realize curry tipped under my shirt and pants
>spicy vindaloo sauce is fucking everywhere, on my dick, my upper arms, the seat, the floor
>movie is starting
>don't want to sit through 3 hours and 7 minutes all sticky and hungry
>start shoveling vindaloos chunks out of my boxers and into my mouth
>it's too hot and I spit it all over the seat infront of me
>fuck it
>keep eating, I try licking vindaloo off my arms but it just makes it worse
>I now have curry on my nose, mouth and shoulders
>finish all the beef chunks I can salvage and enjoy the rest of the movie, keeping myself full with a bag of Maltesers
>lights come on
>everyone stares at me
>I only now know the full extent of my feasting
>there is brown stains over the whole area, it's sloppy and chunky and I have it all over me
>cross my arms to look like I don't care and leave

Should've gotten the staff to clean it up. It's their job.

So let me get this straight. Vindaloos????

Fuck you

*turns full large popcorn upside down*
Oh whoops, clumsy me. Guess I better go get another free refill.
*smirks*

>sneak candy into the theatre
>leave wrappers under the cup in the cupholder

I'm so naughty

These threads are always funny because of how limited in scope these stories are.

The messes described here can all be cleaned in less than a minute since there's a team of people cleaning auditoriums.

It's like watching a redditor's 1st day on Sup Forums trying to fit in.

*pours cherry icee in between seats*
Oh sorry friend. Might wanna clean that up. Guess I'll go get another free one or I'm telling the manager you took it from me.
*smirks*

>tfw the designated shooter decides to line up everyone

amatuer.

Look at this haul from a discount Tuesday morning screening of Ghostbusters, I had a little help with this one.

What kind of a fucking asshole are you?
You got beef from an indian place?
That's fucking cultural appropriation you shitlord, everyone knows indian food doesn't include beef.
You might as well have shat in the designated aisle while you were at it.

yes yes yes CUM CUM CUM CUM IN MY PANTS LOOKING AT THAT HOT MESS FUCKKK MEEEE

everytime i movie for the cinema i take with popcorn but after finished our movie i dick in the box but staff come for clean and grab popcorn box but actually for grab my dick

>getting vindaloo
>its not goat or lamb
Bruh...

You're right, that's why I always bring a bunch of lead fishing weights from the nearby sport's authority and melt them onto the floor with my butane torch.

Fake.

>The messes described here can all be cleaned in less than a minute
Under suppressing fire? Bullshit.

I'd rather take a bullet to the head than deal with a mother bitching about why I won't let her park her stroller in the hallway

>watching secret life of pets this past weekend
>lots of kids/families but managed to find a seat alone so I could eat my nachos, popcorn, and hotdogs in peace
>not a great movie but whatever
>stay for the credits because I'm not a neanderthal
>everyone rushing out of the theater not even caring about all the hard work people put into this movie
>makes me fume with rage
>as I walk out I see all the tubs of popcorn they left behind
>run through the isles kicking them all over
>usher comes in
>WHAT THE FUCK
>run out of the theater
>get in line to grab road nachos
>hear another usher's walkie talkie
>"some asshole just kicked over a ton of popcorn in theater 2 can someone come help me sweep this up?"
>"sorry I think everyone else is busy"
>he and two other workers are just standing around chatting
Heh serves him right

>not using rubbing alcohol to light the stroller on fire as an object lesson
Just scream incoherently about how the baby spontaneously combusted, and you're suing your workplace for the emotional damages.

The trick is to really lean all the way into the turn. You would be surprised what you can get away with if you play dumb really well.

>not spilling your bag of 1000 marbles covered in vaseline onto the floor as you leave the theater

Why use vaseline?
Just put them in a popcorn bucket and use the butter pump for lubrication.

>there are people ITT right now who don't scoop and poop while at the theatre
it's like you dont want to be comfortable

I don't like popcorn butter in my colon.

...

>one of the gimp seats is open (basically padded toilet seats where the regular cinema seat should be, you're supposed to put a bucket the cinema gives you under it so literal retards can piss and shit while watching films, one is on each side all the way back in the nosebleed seats so they don't bother people)
>load up on snacks with my EBT card; popcorn, nachos, hotdogs, burgers, sodas, mini pizzas, Milk Duds, the works
>claim my comfy gimp seat
>"in with the new, out with the old" non-stop for the entire duration of the film, have half a mind to think I'm pissing and shitting beverages and food I ate earlier in the film
>film's over, get up to leave
>I forgot to get a bucket
>big mucousy turds running down an aisle turned into a slip-'n'-slide of piss and spilled soda (and a tiny little bit of blood, I don't get enough fiber)
>big box of plain nachos I didn't eat (because the meat and cheese was on the nachos on the top) falls out of my lap and spills all over the place
>try to catch it and accidentally knock the rest of my soda over
I'd hate to be the one who had to clean that up, they probably closed that theater for the rest of the day and lost thousands of dollars on canceled screenings.

To me i don't dump my popcorn/soda all over the floor and stick chewing gum on the floor and seats because I'm a bad guy. I do it to help the workers at the theater build more character. Without me testing them they are liable to get lazy without having constant challenges at their work. If there is some unintended punishment for their poor academics/career decisions (because let's be honest, they probably weren't the top of their class if they're working there) then so be it. But that is not my intent.

Get a gumdrop, or sour patch kid, or any chewy or gummy candy, and just suck on it. Eventually it will partially melt into a blob of gelatin in the heat of your mouth and your spit. Now spit it out into your hand. You now have a few options. You can mash it into a seat, fling it into the audience, or my favorite, right at the screen. Provided you get some power with the throw, whatever this lump of shit hits it is going to stick to, and never come off.

I never have anywhere to put my crab legs when I'm done so there isnt much choice other than stashing it in the seat next to me. Whenever I forget to pick it up I have to outrun the Aisle Trasher Linebacker though.

Are you me?

>crab legs
This is a meme free thread

>meme
lmao, europoors can't even into crab legs at the movies

I always make sure to leave a bit of a mess to give them some work

>THAT GREASE ON THE SEAT

WORSE THAN BUMPISS ON THE SUBWAY

HAVE TO FUCKING BURN YOUR CLOTHES AFTER GOING TO THE MOVIES

This.
>what is job security?

Say there are 5 popcorn broom monkeys working at any given time at the theater. Each and every customer leaves the theater spotless and all of the trash makes it to the trashcan. All the gimp seat buckets are completely empty. The showers have no poop covering the drains while someone tried to step on it so it's halfway in the drain like a brown playdough toy. Do you think the manager isn't going to notice that he only needs maybe 2-3 popcorn broom monkies for the shift? Well guess what that's means? That means that 2-3 of them will be let go. Is that what you want?

Not leaving a mess is, frankly, pinko commie scum tier behavior, and objectively means you hate free enterprise and capitalism, and therefore america and freedom.

So if you want to make america great again, do your part and trash a cinema today.

One of the few places where I leave my poop scissors at home.

My cinema has poop scissors next to the toilet on a chain like pens at banks, I still don't use 'em though, not my job to cut up my logs to make the job easier on their pansy low-flow toilets.

That's not funny people actually behave like this.

Its really hard to stick an assault beef in a crowded dark theater.

>late night screening of batman v superman
>get bowl of chow mein and settle in for a good flick
>luthor drops a solid quip, proceed to spill entire bottle of kikkoman soy sauce as theater erupts in applause