>Ned, take my son and claim he's yours. Tell no one the truth, especially not your wife whom you love and trust and who will grow to hate my son because of your perceived infidelity. Leave no way for him to ever learn the truth, such as by telling the Maester in Winterfell you trust and don't know will be killed by Theon, and rather than just telling him you fucked a barmaid and she died in childbirth, make his mother some kind of grand mystery that will haunt him if you're killed before telling him the truth, such as by disease, war, or complicated political games. Don't tell Robert to legitimize him as a Stark even though that would be easier than raising him as a bastard, and don't tell the Robert the truth because he'll just kill my son, even though I have no reason to believe he'll do that and would know it was Tywin Lannister who killed the Targaryen children. Make my son eat at another table so he'll feel ostracized and alone, and do things like give him the runt of the litter of dire wolves. Give him a romanticized view of what you know perfectly well is a prison for rapists and murderers so that he'll be killed by Wildings and never have children, barring insane fire god prophecies I don't know anything about. Speaking of magic, how did the Kingsguard capture that Faceless Man? It seems beyond their capabilities, but he couldn't escape without Arya's help, that doesn't make much sense. Anyway, lastly, if you can find the time, lie to everyone and claim you beat Arthur Dayne in a duel even though that makes no sense, is completely out of character for you, and everyone would be able to easily see through it if Westeros wasn't populated exclusively by idiots.
What did she mean by this?
Ned, take my son and claim he's yours. Tell no one the truth...
I thought that was a babydick on her forehead
The Faceless Man part is kinda funny i guess
Are you the same user that did the luke, did I ever tell you pastas? If yes. I love you
Why is there a tiny penis on her forehead.
>promise me ned
Just going to point out that Ned didn't know or trust Cat when he claimed Jon was his bastard and by the time he did trust her enough, revealing the truth would be awkward and useless
He already had a son with Cat. He must've known her pretty well by that point.
bait but bored enough to answer.
> especially not your wife whom you love and trust and who will grow to hate my son because of your perceived infidelity
first, in that moment, ned and cat were recently married and apart during the war. second, part of a big lie is make the least amount of people know (he and HR). also, having the first thing i said in mind, if ned would tell her later, when they have a lot of confidence and such, he would risk cat getting mad at him because he waited till then to tell her and cat being mad at ned would raise questions that somepeople (LF) would dig until the thruth is known.
> Don't tell Robert to legitimize him as a Stark
that would be unnecesary (three fucking legitimate male childs are enough) and would anger cat.
>don't tell the Robert the truth because he'll just kill my son, even though I have no reason to believe he'll do that
yeah, not that roberth would be mad because a guy he hates with all his strength fucked the girl he like, impregnated her and have a child with his blood wich my best friend will raise as his own son.
>Make my son eat at another table so he'll feel ostracized and alone
that was cat's bidding
> Give him a romanticized view of what you know perfectly well is a prison for rapists and murderers so that he'll be killed by Wildings and never have children
still is a big honour for northmen (and starks) to serve and die at the watch.
>how did the Kingsguard capture that Faceless Man
they are not superheroes, they can be beaten by better fighters or being outnumbered
>but he couldn't escape without Arya's help, that doesn't make much sense
again, not superheroes. pretty much no one would be able to escape being in chains and in a cage without help
>lie to everyone and claim you beat Arthur Dayne
it was so HR wouldn't get blamed for backstabbing someone.
Who is HR?
howland reed
Whatever happened to him? I don't recall him ever showing up in the books or in the show outside of Bran's time travel thing. Shouldn't he be a fairly important figure?
hi is in his hold in the neck. sent his sons (jojen and meera) to winterfell to pledge loyalty to robb and i think nothing more. but no, he didn't appear out of flashbacks.
>Not Pwomise mwe, Nwed
You always disappoint
The faceless man allowed himself to be captured. Part of a bigger plan. He could of escaped at his own leisure.
Look it hasn't even been confirmed that her child is Jon Snow yet. They just cut from the baby to a shot of Jon. IT could just as easily been poor editing. There was no line of dialog, or any physical evidence confirming that the baby is Jon, just a camera cut. Cameras cut between different characters all the time, it doesn't mean they are the same person.
>Editing and music cues mean nothing! Language of cinema is just a meme, guys!
and HBO released an infograph that confirmed his parentage after the fact anyway.
doubt it. unless he wanted to kill rory, he would have not runed away when arya freed him or would have returned the cage after the fire.
lol nigga anybody can knock a bitch up and make a baby momma doesn't mean you know shit besides what her pussy feel like
He fucked off back to his swamp.
It was obvious even before the episode.
>populated exclusively by idiots.
fucking kek
>Hey Cat the Lannisters are bad!
>Better kidnap and imprison the one who has nothing to do with it and start a war with them which kills thousands of people
>Hey Cat, we caught the Kingslayer! He's our key to winning this war and saving the North!
>Better let him go
>Hey Cat, Jaime Lannister sends his regards!
>Hurf durf hang everybody
Not telling Cat was the smart thing to do, she fucks everything up.
>>Better kidnap and imprison the one who has nothing to do with it and start a war with them which kills thousands of people
If you're talking about Tyrion, Cat thought Tyrion tried to kill Bran. If you're talking about Jaime, Jaime actually did try to kill Bran.
Cat did think Tyrion tried to kill Bran, yes, and she was wrong and it had catastrophic consequences for the entire kingdom.
Her thinking she was doing the right thing is exactly why she was/is such a fuck up.
Cat says in the books (where she arguably hates Jon more) that it'd be better to legitimise him and be done with it
Sure, but everyone important makes an equally big error.
>Ned trusts CIA, who explicitly tells him not to trust him
>Robb trusts Walder Frey, who's clearly evil
>Jon
>Sansa trusts CIA even though she saw him murder her aunt
>Bran fucks up his time travel wizardry and gets the old man and Hodor killed
>Arya runs around just fucking up all the time
>Brienne refuses to acknowledge that Renly was by no definition the rightful king
>Robert is just a huge dumbass and a terrible king
>Cersei empowers religious nutjobs
>Jaime taunts a guy with the power to chop off his hand
>Tywin can't see Tyrion is his only useful child
>Tyrion trusts Shay
>Joffrey is insane
>Roose Bolton trusts his insane son won't kill him
>Ramsay Bolton shoots a dying giant instead of the enemy commander
>Stannis alienates half of his army
>Davos obeys orders and gets skin girl killed
>Red Lady misidentifies fire god's chosen one
>Oberyn's girlfriend avenges him by murdering his beloved nephew and Doctor Bashir
>Dany does nothing except make grievous errors and murder people
>Jorah fucks up all the time
>Littlefinger accidentally gets Cat killed
I think the only person to never fuck up is Varys, and even then he fails to save Ned's life.
do not recall that but are you sure she doesn't just says something like that to move on?
They would have killed the fuck out of Jon if they knew he was a Targ.
being a terrible king does not makes you dumb. he was smart enough to name smart people to rule in his place and says he does that explicitly
Cat makes three equally big errors, and it was entirely due to her that a deal was struck with Walder in the first place; if she never tried to be diplomatic Robb would have just demanded support from the Freys and ran a train on the Twins if they said no.
Other characters fuck up but none other than Dany fuck up as consistently and spectacularly as Cat.
I like how he forgot to list Jon's errors.
>He could of
>could of
>Robb trusts Walder Frey, who's clearly evil
All he had to do was NOT marry a non-Frey, no one would give a shit if he had a lover outside marriage, hell Walder would probably applaud him
>Robb would have just demanded support from the Freys and ran a train on the Twins if they said no.
Yeah, I'm sure the Lannisters would just stay put down the road and not at all fuck him in the arse harder than Renly did to Loras
A. They could easily have taken the Twins in the time it took the Lannisters to get there, and the only way the Lannisters could get to them to begin with would be via the Twins.
B. Renly was clearly the catcher, not the pitcher.
>easily
>literally 2 castles
I think you underestimate the sort of casualties you'd get, and the time required
So getting caught was part of his plan?
>this is a 10 in Westeros
that's very up to debate because the only description of lyanna is that arya reminds ned to her and arya is not very pretty (as described, in the show is top waifu material). the only thing that implies that is that two guys happened to be completly fallen for her (and it happened that those two guys were two very important people)
Yes. if my numbers are correct here, and I'm sure they are, that is precisely what he meant by that post. Hmph nice work kid
>top waifu material
>that perfect petite body
Whatever you say buddy
They literally spent one night together. He knocked her up then went off to war.
>Ramsay Bolton shoots a dying giant instead of the enemy commander
Ramsay was a psychopath convinced that the enemies that had surrounded him was going to let him live if he accepted Jon's 1v1 and won.
Even though i can't see how he ever thought he'd win with that retarded bowman-ship.
Arya in the books is described as pretty
>B-B-BUT IN THE BOOKS IT SAYS SHE IS TOMBOYISH
Which does not correlate to looking like quasi fucking modo you cunt
Not the same but he was a good friend
Ned calls her "horse faced", which doesn't necessarily mean she's ugly, just awkward looks like most kids are
how about you actually read my post?
Two castles, filled with Freys lest we forget, and no viable escape route. The entire North attacking from one side, half of the Riverlands attacking from the other. After two days all Robb needs to say is he'll make whoever lets them in lord of the Twins and that'll be the end of it.
>half of the Riverlands attacking from the other
How'd they get out of Riverrun retard? Remember it was under fucking siege and the entire idea of Robbs march post dead dad was to break said siege? Did you even watch the show/read the book?
user, you know the Riverlands describes an area larger than just Riverrun don't you? When people say the North they aren't just referring to Winterfell you fucking imbecile.
No you fucking retard the Riverlands got fucked in the arse by Tywin, they were broken and spent holding out in Riverrun until Robb lifted the siege, it's why they suck his dick and call him King of the Trident
Ned was just trying to cheer up his daughter m8. I'm sure there was some family resemblence but Lyanna was clearly made out to be attractive while Arya was not
>I have no reason to believe he would
Aside from all the fucking lands between Seagard to Fairmaker that were completely untouched by the Lannister campaign because Tywin and Jaime were too busy trying to get Riverrun and securing the path between the Westerlands and King's Landing to touch them, which you'd know if you were paying any fucking attention.
And those lands don't have the manpower to do fuck or all
He didn't want to have a child like Jon. He knew how much being a bastard affected Jon growing up and he saw that it was a huge mistake his father made that he didn't want to do either.
Moon tea, problem solved
It was those lands joining the Northern forces that allowed Robb to take Riverrun in the first place.
Severely underrated post.
Not even close. 4000 Freys can hold the Twins against that army for a long time, and regardless of the outcome both sides will suffer heavy losses, which Robb absolutely can't afford. And no, you won't have half of the Riverlands attacking from any side, because most of its forces are scattered every which way dealing with the Lannister onslaught and protecting their lands. The reason they need to get through the Twins so urgently is because the Lannisters are laying waste to most of the kingdom and Riverrun is about to fall. It's the same reason he turns back north after the Ironborn invasion.
I'd do her, but only with a bag over her head
you're a big guy
Didn't happen. Robb said he was going to legitimize Jon in the event of his death and Cat was adamantly against it, which pissed off Robb.
>when plotfags think they're clever
half the shit you've said here wouldn't even work if it does turn out the child is Jon. But in the show at least they've left out so much other foreshadowing that they have no choice to make it anyone but him at this point.
This isn't going to become the next 'good friend' post. You've wasted your time.
OF COURSH
promise me, ned
holy shit, I had to look it up, but that one is even better:
>Luke, did I ever tell you these were your father's droids? We went on wild adventures together for over 3 years in the Clone Wars, and the little one even saved me from a swarm of buzz droids, yet I somehow don't recognize them anymore. They were good friends.
>Luke, did I ever tell you that while your father was training on Coruscant, C-3PO served your family (Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru, Grandma Shmi, Grandpa Cliegg) for nearly 10 years? Somehow, your uncle didn't recognize Threepio when he returned to family's service.
>Hey Luke, did I ever tell you that all Jedi used to dress like homeless moisture farmers the same as I do, despite that still dressing like a Jedi is no good way to hide from Empire? It was a good robe though.
>Come here, Luke, today we will be training with this practice droid while you wear this helmet to blindfold yourself. You would think this was an impromptu training procedure, but no, we did this to younglings all the time and even built them special mini helmets. Right now you are literally worse than a child, Luke, like the ones your father killed with that lightsaber you are holding. He was a good friend.
>You must go to Dagobah, Luke, and seek out Yoda, the Jedi Master who trained me — well, actually, he's A Jedi Master who trained me. Before I moved up to Liam Neeson's service, I was one of the 20 younglings who went to Yoda's class every tuesday and thursday back in youngling school inbetween Jedi chemistry class and lunchtime. Nothing remarkable or mystic to our relationship at all. He was just my teacher who handed out droids and youngling-sized helmets to the class. Also, all his deep seemingly spur of the moment lessons and teachings from a true master are all fairly common Jedi sayings that he just butchers with his ghetto way of talking. A good friend, he was.
yeah that arya bit bothered me too. what does jaqen do in his free time? maybe he did get sloppy and caught once. woke up in a cage.
you ever see those people too stupid to get how smart you are? He would try that shit with them and they would call him a fag and go fuck his girlfriend
Same
I clicked on this thread just for that
>A good friend, he was.
God damn it, I miss goodfriendposting.
why are so many girls photoshopping their waists on instagram?
God damn is she one ugly mutha fucka.
Then came back and spent another decade and change with her.
Deciding to not tell her anything that whole time.
Cat would rather the Lannisters who murdered her husband and crippled her son gain control of Winterfell than Jon
She was a bitter cunt
>Dr Bashir
Dorne was a mistake.
...
And losing both armies in the process, because that's not how you take a castle (you have cannons to destroy the walls, or a lot of patience to starve the defenders)
Would have been hilarious, and officially made Robb the dumbest motherfucker in Westeros.
Which he kinda was anyway.
Tywin would have just done to Robb what Robb did to Jaime
Fucked his army up the arse while it was dicking around outside a castle
unfortunately for you it's been practically-confirmed-but-not-written-out in the books for literally more than a decade!
It'll be fucking hilarious if it turns out his dad isn't Rhaegar though
Rhaegar is his father, but Rhaegar's father isn't Aerys.
>bran did I ever tell you about your dead uncle who you're named after?
>he got the woman i loved but was too shy to approach to dance with me but ended up fucking her himself later on. she committed suicide after giving birth to his stillborn bastard.
>he was a good brother
Anyone who buys the Brandon fucked Ashara instead of Ned theory is delusional