I don't know why this is considered an American Christmas classic

I don't know why this is considered an American Christmas classic.

The entire plot is flawed and unrealistic. If a kid was left home alone to deal with 2 hardened, career criminals he'd get killed and the house would get robbed.

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wvtm13.com/news/child-shoots-suspected-burglar-at-talladega-home/39266054
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheshire,_Connecticut,_home_invasion_murders
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Would?

That didn't happen, so it obviously "would" no happen in this particular case.

I'm more bothered by the violence. I mean, he could have killed those guys.

Get outta here you nosey little pervert!

You are what the French call les incompetent.

You are thinking about it to hard

This is Peter McAllister.

The faaaaaaather

Soundtrack makes good music for Christmas parties.

Why did Marv turn into a skeleton?

>it's an OP didn't get the subtext that Kevin was an Avatar of Nyarlathotep episode

It's made more clear in the 3rd (We Need to Talk About Kevin ) and 4th (The Cabin in the Woods) movie of the Kevin saga.

Home Alone 3,4&5 are a separate continuity.

see

The cold wind is blowin' and the streets are getting dark
I'm writing you a letter and I don't know where to start

dat was the shound of a tool chest...falling down de shtairs

Don't forget they would rape the shit out of him too

Cause she was still suckin after he was done nuttin

ain't much better in here kid

Credit card? You got it!

>DING DANG DONG

>blatant product placement in movie
>buy one because I'm a stupid kid
>it breaks

Well it was made up for the film so not exactly product placement.

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it's a pretty shitty movie overall and people only like it because it gets played over and over and over so much it has been pounded into a generation's consciousness

>TWO HUNDRED POINTS, ALRIGHT!

What the fuck are you supposed to do with an inflatable man sized clown in a pool anyway?

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>i wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were GROWING ON MY ASS

was pretty cool pepsi let the movie use its products. helped make the world seem real because I always drink all the pepsi to

these two movies are full of reaction images

>2 hardened, career criminals
The Wet Bandits were retards who got lucky. Marv being disguised as a cop was just begging for trouble because someone would've noticed him getting back into the van and not a squad car. Or the possibility that a real cop would spot him.

Second, they could've easily ignored Kevin's house. They already had a good haul from the other houses so they should've quit while they were ahead. Especially when they found out Kevin was home alone.

And I highly doubt they would've had the stones to murder a kid. They were crooks but not sociopaths.

What I don't get is why didn't the parents call one of the parents of Kevin's friends to watch over their son? Or is it because Kevin didn't have any friends since he was a whiny little turd?

Since you were born without a suspension for disbelief, I'm not entirely sure why you're even on this board.

They tried, all the neighbors were away for Christmas.

Grease up and rassle

it was harry who was the cop ya filthy animal

you been smoochin with everyone!

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wvtm13.com/news/child-shoots-suspected-burglar-at-talladega-home/39266054

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It's a lie!

The absolute best part of that moment is the lineup of disgusted faces, and manlet Rob Schneider just shaking his head with a sick smirk.

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Surely not all of Kevin's friends are in that one block. He's bound to have other buddies in other areas of town.

You know what I mean.

>staying in Chicago for Christmas

Suck brick kid

Here's your very own cheese pizza.

Nope.

They have multiple children of varying ages and every friend of every one of their children live on a single block, and are all on vacation.

Makes sense... Also it's a cartoon.

I hate autistic edgelords.

Its a children's movie. It's not made for 26 year old arrogant college drop outs who furiously masturbate to japanese animation and refuse to get a minimum wage job because "social anxiety". It's fine that you as a grown adult have trouble suspending your disbelief, congrats every other non 90 IQ grown up realises that this movie is made for kids who find entertainment in the silly antics and lightheaded fun

You're just like those fucking cretins who go to MLP conventions, drowning out the little girls who the show is actually intended for, and asking shit to the writers panel like "will we every see the sexual side of MLP explored?"

This kid would've been the perfect Robin for Batman.

Joe Pesci makes the funniest god damn sounds in these movies.

>plot is flawed and unrealistic

No shit man, it's a holiday family comedy.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS HARRY

Good post, Raven-san

Who would win in a battle to the death?
Shovel or two hundred pigeons?

>feeding the troll

>die hard is my favorite Christmas movie

It was set in the North Shore, a VERY affluent suburb north of Chicago. There's bound to be some families staying in their homes.

I hope your parents got you a tombstone for Christmas!

Why were there no toys in the toy store? Everything seemed to be a Christmas decoration for the store.

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Good taste.

Here's another Christmas classic.

>"if someone breaks into your house to steal things they will instinctively murder you"
>mfw americans actually believe this

HAPPY HANUKKAH MARV

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Easily the shovel man. Pigeons don't stand a chance against him, the man is unkillable

I was gonna post jingle all the way in response
But I saw this and couldn't believe it

Hey, you lookin for someone to tell you a bedtime story?

It's a shitty movie. And you're a shitty person for defending it.

>implying kevin actually exists and isnt a hallucination scapegoat brought on by the fear and guilt of the other characters.

Who wins?
A batman trained Kevin, or Superman?

Yes.

>he's calling the cops!
>he's not calling th-FROM A TREE HOUSE!?

WHERE'D HE GO?
Maybe he committed suicide!

In Home Alone (1990), Joe Pesci plays both the policeman at the beginning of the movie, as well as Harry the burglar.

I'M GONNA SNAP YOUR CAHONEYS OFF
AND BOIL EM IN MOTOR OIL

AT MIDNIGHT TONIGHT, WE'RE HITTIN DUNCANS TOY STORE

Is Chris Columbus the king of comfykino?

>watch Home Alone as a kid
>too focused on Kevin shitting on everyone else and packing stuff to recognize him

>watch Home Alone as an adult
>too focused on the cocksucking uncle clearly not paying for a thing

I loved shovel man.

Him and Sam Raimi.

Wouldn't want to spoil your fun, Mr Cheapskate

>yeahh and it'll be dark kids are afraid of the dark
>shuddup Marv you're afraid of the dark too

holy fuckin shit, how did i miss that?

No I'm NOT

I'll tell what I'm gonna do, Snakes. I'm gonna give you to the count o ten, to get your ugly, yella, no good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full o lead!

Superman gets fucked even if Batkevin gets no prep time

>wan
>tew
>ten

If it was any normal kid, yeah you'd be right. But not if it's Macaulay Culkin. That kid is tough. Hell, he even got diddled by Michael Jackson and he got through it just fine.

That user is wrong.
Solid Snake would still lose, becasue he forgot that in times of sure death, Kevin can deploy "Shovel Grandpa" that has +11 on stealth and a 1 hit knock out ability.

>tabloid reader

What the fuck was his problem?

It's better than A Christmas Story

Take your pleb as fuck opinion somewhere else.

You're right.

If armed assailants break into your house while you are home, you should just assume they are nice guys and hope they don't torture you and then gang-rape your wife and child before burning them alive.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheshire,_Connecticut,_home_invasion_murders

>LOOK THESE SPECIFIC ONES WERE THAT MEANS ALL WERE

This exact part of this scene was creepy as fuck as a kid.

>LOOK THIS SPECIFIC EVENT DOESN'T HAPPEN EVERY TIME SO LET'S JUST HOPE FOR THE BEST IN A SITUATION WHERE WE GIVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER TO A CRIMINAL

Shit like that instantly makes my blood fucking boil.

To this day i haven't met a child who likes home alone. Or a grownup who liked it as a child, for that matter

Does anyone else know that Silvio from The Sopranos wrote that song? Look it up.

Do white people really drink milk with Pizza?