You wake up in Chicago

>You wake up in Chicago
What do you do now?

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try not to get shot

I will
>get a cheap ticket for United Airlines
>double book my own seat
>refuse to leave
>get beaten up
>sue them for 300 million USD

P
R
O F I T

Get some 'go 'za

Meet up with Mr. Chi-City.

Get a wet beef sandwich.

Been there lots of times, would go get a deep dish pizza they're pretty good. If you're just visiting you'd have to be retarded or just very unlucky to have anything happen to you.

head to O'Hare and leave as soon as possible

Get shot lol

>Chicongo
>Not getting shot

TOPKEK! Guess I'm getting shot.

Post on Sup Forums like usual.
Same if you live in the north side.

Die of hipotermia.

Find a nice, white enclave and enjoy my time there

>>You wake up in Chicago
daily thing faggo

Deep dish is great, but it's a tourist thing mainly. This is what we actually eat on the regular when we get pizza.

Speak for yourself, princess.

go to some ghetto, say that i'm the medellin plug, become the gang leader, and fuck bitches everyday while i listen to drill

I will get shot, thanks very much, no point going to a place and not experience local culture.

>You wake up in chicago
ok so another normal day

t. todd tourismo

or

t. alan suburbiana

stick my hand down my pants

get shot

t. Aleczz Wienermeister

go to portillo's and get a hotdog with ketchup

This is true
Top pleb

>not getting an italian combo
what even are you doing

So when are you ladies having your wedding?

chicago fag spotted

REEEEEEEEE

What kind of shit bread is that? Wheres the juice?

>suburban lad gets found out
>resorts to this weakness

>goldenlaughingface.jpg

It's just a pic I found quick on google. It should be completely soaked, you are right.

I came to post this.

actual fag spotted

You can have it both ways

Drive about 38 minutes to get back home

Well I would be illegal so I would just go back

RIP

Hows that apartment in Boystown treating you, fairyboy?

>be away from home
>talk to someone new and ask where they're from
>"Chicago."
>"Oh cool, me too. Which neighborhood are you from?"
>"A-actually I'm from Aurora/Joliet/Skokie/Oak Lawn/etc."
>mfw

Glad we could agree.

Never fails

You can also put ketchup on a hotdog, but that doesnt mean its right.

try and find the Bulgarian hoods, there's supposed to be like 15k of us there

I bet you enjoy eating that new york crust out of your boyfriends ass crack.

people from chicago suburbs are some of the worst people i've ever met

Go to the nearby walmart

I know theres a big Bulgarian church in the northwest part of town. Id try there.

wew lad he is mad

youtu.be/D0sZpEEvw0Q

>t. Nigbert Nigglesby King III

Not mad at all. Queers like you just gross me out. I bet you say "chee town" and eat your fag pizza with a fork.

Get some Chicongo pizza and then fly to Montreal or Toronto

that actually looks really nice

Based negro. Dunno why people so often claim to be from Chicago when they aren't.

>wake up in chicongo
>go outside
>get shot by roaming feral niggers

Why do autists like you do this samefagging shit? Nobody else cares about your stupid little argument.

>no one ever disagrees with me, it's always just one autist

>wake up
>hmm looks like I'm in chicago
>hitchhike back to arizona

Sure, you could do that if you get lost in washington park. Or you could visit this Lithuanian church that has services in Lithuanian.

Look man, I don't care about this stuff as much as I used to but your insecurity over this is very apparent. You are a lot more upset than you should be.

The funny thing is I just realized he is trying to pretend to be someone else saying that and samefagging himself.

Get a plastic on my leg so PD has GPS on me

Nobody fucking cares about your bitchfest. You fucked up this thread. Jackoffs like you are why Chicago has a bad image.

buddy, you were the one who tried to speak for people from Chicago, you were also the one to sperg out.

What the fuck are you talking about? Im from Boston you mongoloid. I was just backing up the other guy because nobody should have to deal with faggots like you by themselves.

Walk on down to local elementary school for an enjoyable day of cla

Ignore that fag. "He" isnt worth the effort tbqh.

haha whatever you say suburbia

Go get me one of these bad boys.

If I were in Chicago, Id be getting more dubs than usual it seems.

I would stay in America, would go to find bus to the New-York and would go to the New-York and stay there. Find work, rent flat and enjoy living in USA.

>not staying in ukrainian village

Enjoy getting raped by kikes in queens ang brooklyn, dumbass.

be displeased that I was moved one county to the east

I'd probably just walk home or something

Chimpcago isn't even in the same league as NYC. Stay buttmad, nigger.

DuPage county sucks massive nigger cock.

get shot

Hows that 200 sq ft studio in staten island treating you, fuckboy?

I go to the worst part of town, that being the notorious "South-Side", and upon arrival I take due caution with regard to a certain man by the name of "Leroy Brown", the said man having rather a degree of infamy in the town (indeed, to superfluous extent), drawing comparisons to monstrous apes and vicious guard-dogs.

Don't even breathe on me, loser

data.bls.gov/map/MapToolServlet

You chucklefucks and the rest of the state drag us down to the 2nd worst unemployment rate in the country. Meanwhile we're sitting here at 4.1%, which is about the third best county in the state.

Smell ya later, Ash.

>DuPage has the same texture value as the lake

holy shit we found atlantis

I already live in Chicago

What now

Get the fuck back down South where I belong, then burn my shoes for catchin' yankee soil.

won't be the only thing burning comrade

join a gang and become a drill rapper

youtu.be/2safGftL1iU

t. a transgender jewish chink/nigger hybrid whos first langauge is spanish

wew. he must be from the long-lost tribe of omega-israel.

I attend the Dodgers-Cubs game on Wednesday

buy a house on the south side

...

Wow. Thats nice.

Eat some pizza and then go back to my igloo.

Take a bus trip home because I'm tired of getting beat up at the airports

Me too. Fuck jewnited.

go work for mafia

Call my mate. Ask him where the pub is his little bro manages. Have a good time.
Ask for a wet beef sandwich somewhere

>Ask for a wet beef sandwich somewhere
Is this something gay? Fuck.

why do americans laugh at slavshits although they work in those buildings every day and have to drive back so long until they arrive at their wooden copy paste houses?

take advantage of the naive americunts

Go home. It'll be a long trip and I may get shot, but I'll walk my ass home.
>sea scorpion is a shrimp
The fuck is wrong with this stupid captcha?

Contact the authorities and make my presence known.

>t. terroni scum