Feels Thread

Feels Thread.

gay
These are real feels.

I could really use going to sleep, but i don't feel sleepy at all. Also, really not looking forward to the "didn't get enough sleep" feeling. Hate that feeling so damn much.

im 12 btw

MODS MODS

My parents are wondering when I'll call, where did my baby go?
My friends are asking where I went.
I'm thinking where did I fall off.
What steps brought me here?

Nothing feels right anymore.
I swear my limbs aren't even the right length.

He brought my love back, after being gone for so long. I tried being clean for a while. But that always felt wrong. I never fit it, never moved at the right pace. He felt the same way, wanted the pain to finally go away. I promised him we'll get there together, but sent him off to buy cigarettes.

I know you're all worried sick. And I'm sorry I'm not around. I just need to feel whole again.
Even if it means being in the ground.

All I remember is euphoria in the park.
Shoes are so uncomfortable.

And I know you're all crying. And I'm sorry I let you down. But just put all your worries aside. But please don't forget my name. I don't need my love anymore. I've got it all figured out. My shoes are off and I'm tired.

My friend found out her childhood friend that was missing, died the other day.
She killed herself with heroin overdose. They found her laying in a park a few blocks from her apartment. She was laying in the grass with her shoes off, using her hoodie as a pillow, and a small blanket covering her.

Her ex fiancé just got out of prison that same week. They were going to kill themselves together, but at the last minute she made him go out to get a pack of cigarettes. When he came back to her apartment, she wasn't there. She was already dead.

The funeral was yesterday and she's not taking it well. I'm trying to cheer her up but I'm not good at this kind of thing at all. I hate seeing her upset. Her eyes look dead.

>Had a gf
>Both of us were assholes, happy assholes, together
>She left me for one year and then she came back to be couple again
>Fucking happy, cause she is the only one around me that understand my sick jokes, etc
>It was only she and me.
>She is removed from her class to another, she met a lot of new people
>A month later, she's friend of a lot of new people
>I'm not. I felt jelly. There was some dudes who likes her in that group.
>One day she texts me
>"I want changes, user"
>"Wut, wat, r u fuking gai?"
>"I want to see things from a different perspective. I can't change with someone so likely to me. Maybe we need to stop talking"
>We stop talking
>Now I texted she, because I fucking miss her.
>"Who is this" she answers
>"Its me, user"
>"Uh, sorry, I am going to sleep. Look at these eyebags"
>She sends pic.
>I look at the pic and I want to cry

its cold. she should be here, hugging me and watching memes. She is so beautiful. I just cant. I am alone. Really alone.

...

do yourself a favor and do not message her anymore.

i'm sorry

...

I am obssesed with her. I cant forget her. All is see reminds me her. I'm pathetic. Shit

...

That'll happen for a while. Been 9 months since my bitch left and only just finally getting to the point where I don't give a shit now. It takes time but eventually she'll just be something that happened and someone that came and went long ago.

That was gay but, ok.

9 months. I don't know if I cand hold on that much.

I've been alone for 7 years now and I'm not behaving like a pussy. Live your own life, don't base it around something or somebody else cause you'll get burned.

thanks man

My whole life was her, literally. We met at 6. Now we're 21. Why things have to change?. Goddamn it.

You're a sick human being...

i'm going through the same shit right now and i know how difficult it is. i miss her so much. i don't know how am i gonna get through this, shit.

Bravo my man, bravo. "Slow clap starting"

>"You're and addict, then be addictive, just be adicted to something else".

T2: Trainspotting 2.

Sure you can. You'll be alright. You'll look back and realize you dodged a bullet and even laugh it it.

...

Why is it that I want to pack everything in and move somewhere remote whenever I have a hangover?

Nice, a feels thread. Well, I guess I'll tell my story. My parents came to the US before I was born. They had me January 6, 2002. My first horrible experience with them happened when I was 6. I spilled some juice on my dads laptop and broke it. He screamed and hit me for the 1st time. That was tame compared to the other things that started to happen. I have three other siblings. They never felt this abuse. I was always psychologically abused by my parents. Mentally, emotionally, and verbally. This carries out even till now. Because of them I suffer serious depression. I am mostly devoid of emotion at this point. Well, thanks for the thread OP.

I lost my job last year. I have anxiety. Anxiety has cost me everything. I had a cade, a waifu, a small circle of friendos. But I kept having nervous breakdowns until I lost it all. Never even considered getting mental health until this month when I realized that I was truely alone. No friends or family. Getting treatment helped me see that alot. Now I wish I got help years ago.

I want to be happy

No offense, but like are you not still young and in school? As in you could talk to a counselor about your parents?

In my subcontious he resides
He has showed up in my dreams twice
All bad instances
The first he wreeked havoc and there was nothing I could do
I sat in torment
Feeling his wrath lashed out upon my resolve
Shit was fucking heavy
But now it's over
Second dream
Carole from the walking dead is killing him
And I don't agree
Thoughts were swarming my head
I didn't agree with the killing of another human being
I got the exact opposite of the first dream
I got to watch him suffer
It was eerie and decrepit
What the fuck even is this anyway
The sudden exit of someone I've known for a long time
Borrowing my acoustic guitar every weekend
Then hopping in some mazda crossover with 2 chicks
I was a god damn fool
I should've told him to fuck off
But I was weak then
Not wise to the ways of the psychotic mind
I've been in isolation for so long
After I gave up drugs only a few friends remained
I befriended many individuals in my exploits
The moments from then still haunt me today
Specific instances
Fucking psychedelics can either be the best thing ever
Or thrust you into a perpetual burning nightmare
If you ask me that's not worth it at all
After I came down from the shrooms I took for the last time, I felt destitute
I felt as if the world was against me
I felt like everything I knew would collapse cause all I want is for people around me to understand how things are from my perspective
The very gravity of every feeling I have
It's fucking tremendous
My disdain for drugs is fueled by a thousand charred furnaces in Satan's smithing workshop
Here's the thing
I'm insecure about being shy so I make up excuses for things
Probably not the greatest route to take
But I don't know how to approach it any other way
I'm about to lose my financial aid over this fucking bull shit
I want to beat myself up for being such an insecure bitch
Fuck I hate insecurity so god damn much
I used to date this awful girl
Fuck that insecure petty bitch

I already tried this. School made the situation worse.

bipolar dirty smelly girl
Can't believe I fucked over my best friend Richard for that shit
That in itself is a fucking story and a half
Anyway back to my ex
I grew SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF HER GOD DAMN SHIT AND CRINGINESS I WANTED TO PUNCH HER AND HER TRASHY SHITTY MOM RIGHT IN THE THROAT WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING DATING THAT STUPID BITCH. So fucking nasty and ugly. God fucking dammit I have ptsd or some shit from that relationship. How am I supposed to go to school and start a career with all this god damn baggage I carry. Fucking fuck is that even an excuse? I just don't know
I need some help
I don't know from who
But it would be nice for someone to lend me a hand
The lonesome road is no fun to walk
Not at all

Fug it's that one then this one

Hey, if you need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me. Drop a Twitter handle or some other social media.

Possibly the saddest thing I've ever seen

it's just a game breh, chill

we have forever

What if he was named after his dad's Blastoise...

What did the counselors do?

I regularly have to visit a doctor.
I have massive problems with my hip ever since my father stomped and shattered it.

I have scarrings where he pressed his cigarettes against my skin.

Every second of my life I will carry the pain and the marks of the torture he put me through. Every second I will carry the memory of my mothers blank look.
Of how she had given up and just let it happen.

You can clearly see the scar of when his abuse became sexual for the first time, of the stitches required to repair the damage.

I will also carry the memories of the doctors clearly not believing the excuses my dad made up but not interveneing either to avoid trouble.

But I will also carry the memory of my father drinking his way to an early grave.

I also get to look into the face of the woman who knows it all and still decides to carry me whenever I cant walk on my own.

End whenever I look at my two boys, my precious little boys I know one thing for certain: I am neither my father, nor my mother for I would rather shoot myself before harming them and catch a bullet before I allow anyone else to do so.

Carry on. Thema bad memories will never be replaced but others will join them.
And in the end you will remain undefeated.

Called my parents and told them about it every though I told the counselors not to. Got yelled at and hit. Got all my shit taken away. Wasn't allowed to leave the house for 2 weeks.

>Be me, browing Sup Forums
>See a thread asking how we "fix" the millennials
>Look at the first post for a minute, then keep scrolling
>Think about answering, or trying to answer
>Realize I have nothing to say
>Every generation has hated their generation, some try to fix it, some don't
>I'm just weary, why do we keep trying to fix things, keep confusing change with improvement
>It doesn't matter, the next generation will hate themselves as well, and change something else
>Scroll down to a feels thread
>Decide to try verbalizing my despondence
>Type a few lines, remember I have nothing worthwhile to say
>The need to communicate tries desperately to stave off the weight of indifferent depression
>A sigh, the empty feeling wins again. Maybe I should delete my thoughts rather than share
>Just like I do every other night

Maybe the thread will 404 before I hit "post"
Maybe someone else who just can't bring themselves to send their own message can empathize
Most likely, if anyone reads this, they'll will feel I wasted their time with my disorganized ramblings
I guess I don't care anymore, I just want to lie down and sleep. Maybe one day I'll wake up as someone else.
Maybe.

Goodnight, anons.

I feel you pain a lot. I know the trauma. Thanks for your story, it was more detailed than mine. People with authority can be morbid. Your father and my parents.

fuuuuuck, I talked to my dad today, but I'm going to call him tomorrow too.

Its okay user, currently going thru the same thing.Exact situation...
PS fuck you Amber

You NEVER talk to a school counselor or teacher about problems. EVER.

They will make it worse, either through stupidity, or much more often, out of sadism.

Never trust an adult. Never.

have you done any psychedelics or meditation to verify

Fuck her man. Everyone has someone for them and your other is out there

My friend killed himself the other day

This is me most of the time on Sup Forums. Or anywhere.

It just seems completely pointless to express anything anymore. And everytime I do, there's almost never a (you) waiting for me.

Have a good night, anonymous. In a week neither of us will remember this.

I asked because it worked out well for my friend back in High School, guess he was the exception though.

Adding to my previous reply.
The adverse effects of some of this shit was my inability to express emotion and even feel them. I also can't relate with others. I always see other parents and think, how are they so nice and I have these sadistic parents? When I was 13 I had an issue with cutting. I broke the habit and I'm 2 years clean.

I haven't been actually happy since I was 21. I'm 25 now. I've had fun, and happy days, but I haven't actually been happy in over 4 years. I just want someone to love me again. Real love. I miss it so much.

My mom apparently knows about my masturbation and she had left a large pack of tissue paper in my room yesterday. I don't know how to feel about this but I think that my life must have gone pretty wrong some time ago.

Just a (you) for you in the hope it makes you smile.

Break shit, get hit.

Again adding on, I have never felt real love. Because of how I was molded, I can't talk to guys let alone girls. I just wish for someone to just hold me sometimes. Hold my hand as I sleep and comfort me. But that never happens. All I do is just cry into my pillow until I finally fall under the deep blanket of sleep.

Well lookit tha fancy Sup Forumstard what can afford a car, lets all congradulate this our brother for his stroke of efficancy in obtaining a superiour modus of locomotion.

I feel the same thing when it comes to explaining my depression and anxiety to others, even therapists.
So I don't even try anymore, I just act happy. They will never understand. I would never be able to explain why, or how.
My family will never know, never understand. To them I'm just a happy boy that doesn't want to do college anymore.
Fantasizing about suicide just brings me relief. That and escaping through watching league of legends streamers on twitch.

I understand that but when it's out of sadism after that then you get people that become fucked up like me.

I feel this on so many levels.

feels good to know someone knows.

Exactly.
If you do say anything,
>everything is temporary! It's always darkest before the storm, user.
It might be better some days, but it's never going to "get better". Why don't you understand that? There's something seriously wrong.

But it's like there's a wall between me and everyone else. It's just easier keeping that wall up and not bothering with trying to talk to anyone about it.

Funny, I stayed up after all in hopes of some sign of life. You took the time to respond. I guess I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this, but sorry you're in the same boat. Here's to (you), and this fleeting, digital moment of human connection.

"I don't want love,
I don't want forgiveness,
I just want morphine."
-A Young Doctor's Notebook

Precisely man. And in the meantime you just have to suffer through the situation you're in because you are literally, alone. Virtually impossible to communicate it, or find anyone that would understand it. So there's no way out, no help to be found. You literally have to keep treading. And that's why I like to fantasize about suicide. Such relief just thinking about it. Because that is the only out.
However, I could never do it. But I dream about it. This is actually the closest I've felt to not being alone in my woes in a long time, the responses in this thread.
So thanks.

...

Any tips to forget someone?

get someone different maybe, idk i wanna know too

You can't unless you hit yourself in the head too many times to cause some damage or something, other then that just keep living on. You'll be in pain for awhile but it won't be easy

>dad died two months ago.
>inherited a bunch of money.
>still super depressed
>wanna kill myself every day

...

I know this feel too.

I went to a therapist for a long time. In the end, I felt like I was "too smart" for her.

What I mean isn't that I'm some incredibly smart person but rather, my brain could find a counter to all her arguments.

She was a good therapist, it's just that I don't think many people can really understand some kinds of depression.

...

I wish I could stop hurting the people that I love. I wish I could. But I'm weak.

Fuck

Out of the endless sea of faces, looks like several kindred spirits washed up on this shore. I've been lurking, and can relate.. I feel like I've found a bonfire I can try to warm myself at for a moment. I know the chill will return when I leave, but perhaps we will wind up here together some time again. Perhaps - meaning almost certainly - but whether or not we recognize that moment or wordlessly pass along who can say. What I'm trying to say is that I recognize this as fortunate chance, and also thank you

I'd really like some ramen right now.

As much as you try to be there for someone, you can't win them you know? I just give in and accept the reality.

Just focus on yourself. I was like that a little while back. Focused on myself, lost 30 pounds, dress better now, better relationships with my friends, more experience, and I have a new gf who gave me the best blowjob I have ever had today.

It gets a lot better.

I'm sorry we're all here. But it's nice to know I'm not completely alone in the feeling.

Thanks to you guys as well.

I've seen all the gore threads, seen pictures of cutting even but for some reason, THIS picture got to me.

Don't hurt yourself, user.

We're both on this Earth together somewhere, right now. Looking at our own screens.

Good night anons. May peace find you all. I'm sure we'll meet again.

I wish I had someone to cuddle with. I've given up on the idea of actually sharing
a life with someone, because I don't have a life to share outside of work, vidya and
awkward silence, but I really feel like I need physical contact.
Maybe I should stop being cheap and start looking for prostitutes instead.

Night user

We do need physical contact. Our bodies and minds literally need it. It's unfortunate we live in a culture that is so cold and detached. I think you can satisfy this necessity with animals too, hug and pet a dog or cat. Maybe you can find one that understands you.

My post^
I feel like this all the time.

>that feel when so starved for physical contact I get a boner from petting an animal

Any other anons hopelessly in love with someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings?

Why do I have to be like this? I live on hope that doesn't exist.

I'm sorry man. If I could impart some advice onto you, it would be to cherish her memory, but move on. You will gain nothing by reminiscing. Not to discourage you, but attempt to pick yourself back up. Anyway, best of luck friend.

I used to be for a little bit, relates to my previous adventures actually. Can Greentext if needed.

I'm interested user.

Here we go, this is a sidequel to the JewFag Adventures in Getting Waterboarded. Happened alongside this.
But before I post OC, I will post the previous adventure to get people up to speed.

>Be Me, 14 years old.
> Filthy Jew faggot, parents wanted me to go on a birthright trip with some "friends" that I had known for a while in middle school.
>For the rest of this trip, I will be referring to this as the Israel trip.
>Attended this school from 1st Grade to 8th, in 8th we go to Israel.
>School shilled the trip to make us stay there, was a pretty shitty education, for they didn't teach some essential shit properly, fucked me later in high school.
>Arrive at Jerusalem airport, normal shit, faggots ignoring me like they had normally done throughout my time there.
> A Day and a 1/2 in, tired, we are going to the underground western wall
>Note about the trip: We were going with 2 other middle schools.
>On way to the place, fall asleep due to jet lag.
>FirstIncident.jpg

>I fall asleep next to a guy on the bus, Dickhead doesn't even try to wake me up.
>Nobody notices me, like usual.
>Stuck with Israeli bus driver
>Somewhat dazed and confused, go with bus driver to his parent's house.
>Dude speaks no english, have no idea what he is saying.
> At this point, I feel bad for him, due to the fact that this faggot just showed up (me).
>Get back to the group, at the wall.
>A group of 40 jewish children, including the ones i knew, all look at me, and start laughing at me.
>This is when I realized that life was not going to work out well for me.
>Worst part however, was not the fact that the kids were laughing at me, that was expected, save a few.
>The worst part was the fact that the chaperones, teachers of mine, were also laughing, and did not try to help me in the slightest.
>I trusted these people, and this act of negligence, in addition to 2nd incident (coming soon), almost sent me off the deep end, thought about an heroing.

I'm saving a memento. Maybe after I've forgotten, I'll stumble across it, and remember these moments of warmth. I love you, anons.

>Back to the story
>I then watch everyone i thought I knew, slowly cave to peer pressure.
>AsExpected.jpg
>Fast forward to a few days later.
>Friend of many years up to that point invites me to talk in his room.
>2ndIncident.exe has started running
>The Time has come for the 2nd incident
>Go into friend's room, lets call him Zach
>Zach then, along with 2 other faggots
>They then take me, place me under the sink, place towel tight on my face, and pour water.
>Waterboarding.jpg
>Too scared, brain gets sensation of drowning
>Throw up a little, immediately goes back into mouth.
>This, although it was only 2 minutes, felt like an eternity.
>Especially because it was by someone I trust, in addition to the 2 guys who helped him (also trusted them)
>Walk out stunned, lost faith in humanity.
>...

>After Israel Trip
>I attempt a form of communication with this man, after about 3 weeks of minimal communication with the outside world.
>During this time, I attempted suicide.
>Parents thought I was being overdramatic.
>Probably was.
>Back to the story
>I skype this man,
>I ask him "Zach, why did you waterboard me?"
> He replies "Well user, I just wanted to. And you were the easiest to do it to because I knew you wouldn't resist."
> I have not spoken to him since.
That day has haunted my memory for years now, because it is a constant reminder of how I can never truly trust anyone, and how even those who you think understand, never will. Thank you for listening in on my faggotry.
>Flash Back to week before end of school.
>Depressed as shit, look around to see if anyone cares about what just happened.
>As normal, nobody does
>In fact, school attempts to cover up the issue, and pretends like it didn't happen (The bus incident that it, not the waterboarding)
>Even if the waterboarding got out to beside the kids, Zach's parents have enough money to "make it all go away".
>I confront the school about the bus issue, they say it was a problem and won't happen again.
>I know its bullshit, but i let it go.
>However, my parents (my mother) stopped supporting the school (My dad wanted to pretend like nothing happened)
All in all, lesson is to never trust kids, or people in general. I learned that lesson the hard way.

You don't need prostitutes, you need to get a hold of your life. Get in ok-ish shape, you don't have to be a model, but don't be a slob either. If you have that, ask yourself how many people now you. If it's not much, then ask yourself if you wanna be remembered, either in a good way, or a bad way. And realize that you will waste your life if you try to blend in. Standout! Somebody IS going to like you. Some people may not, but you can just ignore them! You have nothing to lose by trying to standout, because you don't have any friends to lose in the first place. The only thing that can happen is you either get friends, or you stay with what you have now. Either way you lose nothing by trying. Be confident user, and I gauruntee someone will like you.

im getting a bit feelsy.

> be me depressed
> meet grill at shit job i have 3 years ago, hit it off start dating
> my mom dies six months into our relationship
> she had a miscarriage
> shes my whole world
> fast forward to 2 months ago
> getting ready to buy ring, pop the q and start a family
> she cheats on me and leaves me for some faggot in his mid 30s whos a delivery driver with 2 kids from 2 other women
> be so fucked up from that and shit that happened over my life, start therapy and on depression meds
> find out thyroid is fucked up
> gain weight from depression meds
> be super fucked up in the head as this girl is constantly playing games blaming me
> finally got the courage to block her number tonight after talking with her sister (her sister and i are close and consider each other family as we were there for each other through shit)
> feel so fucked up because not talking to her feels horrible but probably for the best

i cant get over her Sup Forums, god dammit. i gave her my all and she fucking just lies and treats me like shit and leaves me shattered in pieces. trying to fill the void with any girl that gives me attention but it doesnt help. currently drinking a beer still fucking working because its the only thing i can do to occupy my mind... How did you faggots get over you "One".....could use some help