A guy went to perform umrah in mecca with his family. During circling, he got closer to his mother and heard her whisper: >"God please forgive me, for I have committed adultery." Then, he got closer to his sister and heard her whisper: >"God please forgive me, for I have committed adultery." Then, he got closer to his wife and heard her whisper: >"God please forgive me, for I have committed adultery." Then he raised his arms in prayer and said: >"God please forgive me for I am going to send you 3 whores."
Isaiah Morales
What's the difference between a white jew and a black jew?
The black jew has to sit at the back of the gaschamber.
Zachary Davis
I would hug you, but I'm scared I can overhug and fuck you.
Parker Barnes
the serbian empire
Angel Long
Argentina is white
Isaiah Thompson
How do you fit 20 Jews in volkswagen kafer?
4 on seats and 16 in ashtray.
Jackson Myers
Even better! >Taringa
Bentley Richardson
An american walks into a bar
Orders a big mac with large fries and a gallon of coca cola
Lucas Gomez
An american walks into a doctor's clinic
Orders a big mac with large fries and a gallon of coca cola
Kayden Sanders
An american walks into Spain
holy shit i love Mexico
Andrew Ortiz
Sweden today is much funnier, Jamal.
Josiah Cox
An american walks into moon
holy shit its not a ball of cheese???
Nolan Parker
1520
Xavier Green
...
Colton Peterson
An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Irishman were in a pub talking about their children.
'My son was born on St George's Day, 'remarked the Englishman, 'So we obviously decided to call him George.'
'That's a real coincidence', observed the Frenchman', My daughter was born on Valentine's Day, so we decided to call her Valentine.'
'That's really incredible', drawled the Irishman, 'Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake.'
Leo Torres
Shrove Tuesday?
Kevin Collins
>born on valentine's day >not conceived on valentine's day unlikely. ruined my immersion 2/10 joke.
Hudson Ward
Yeah. We call it Pancake day here.
Christopher King
My mum was born on Valentine's day desu
Carter Parker
why do brits have holes in their caskets? so the maggots crawl out to vomit
Jordan Lee
Why a black women pregnant of triplets was arrested?
Gang formation.
Austin Evans
Why do jews have long, big noses? Because air is free!
Asher Garcia
A ball rolls around the corner and falls :DDDD
Elijah Butler
That's bullshit. We don't have such a joke.
Jace Sullivan
Don't post my fucking elephant
Mason Cruz
Poland is not yet lost
Christian Davis
A man tattooed the words "I Love You" on his penis and was eager to show it to his girlfriend.
She looks at it for a while, shakes her head and then says: "Are you trying to put words into my mouth again?"
Jackson Thompson
...
Joshua Stewart
...
Levi Allen
It is not the fart that kills, it is the smell
Juan Clark
...
Ryder Wright
...
Matthew Ramirez
I had sex with an English girl yesterday, but it was really awkward, because she kept calling some other guy's name. Who the hell is Rape?
Carter Taylor
...
Christian Johnson
Why don't Jews ever lick pussy? Too close to the gas chamber.
Luke Lopez
Comic version of a German joke
Carter Morgan
Why does the swede carry around a car door in the desert? So he can roll down the window when he gets hot.
Charles Walker
On a train in czarist Russia, a Jew is eating a whitefish, wrapped in paper. A Gentile, sitting across the aisle, begins to taunt him with various anti-Semitic epithets. Finally, he asks the Jew, “What makes you Jews so smart?” “All right,” replies the Jew, “I guess I’ll have to tell you. It’s because we eat the head of the whitefish.” “Well, if that’s the secret,” says the Gentile, “then I can be as smart as you are.” “That’s right,” says the Jew, “And in fact, I happen to have an extra whitefish head with me. You can have it for five kopecks.” The Gentile pays for the fish head and begins to eat. An hour later the train stops at a station for a few minutes. The Gentile leaves the train and comes back. “Listen, Jew,” he says, “You sold me that whitefish head for five kopecks. But I just saw a whole whitefish at the market for three kopecks.” “See,” replies the Jew, “You’re getting smarter already.”
Bentley Torres
What do you get if you cross the jews with cockroaches?
Dunno, but at least they couldn't claim the holocaust happened
How many Swedes does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just turn off the other lights to make the dark room feel welcome
What did the Saudi Arabian visiting America buy his wife for dinner?
Happy Meals
Liam Gomez
Why do Jews have so big noses? Because air is free.
Nathaniel Carter
...
Jackson Foster
aren't they in a plane in the original joke?
Liam Price
people say that that hitler ordered the execution of the jews, but what really happened was hitler was giving away free gas and the jews were so greedy they not only filled gas tanks with gas but also tried bring some back in their lungs and then millions of jews died because of their greed
Alexander Hughes
An infinite number of physicists walk into a bar First orders 1 pint of beer, the second 1/2 pint, the third 1/4, the fourth 1/8 and so on. A bartender tells them: "Get the fuck out of here"
This bartender was an Einstein.
Christopher Watson
What is a woman doing in a space station?
Cleaning up lol
Cameron Mitchell
...
Ayden Ramirez
A man walks into a bar. "O-o-one b-b-b-beer, p-p-please" The bartender says: "Hey, friend, I used to have problems with stammering myself, but it got fixed after my wife gave me a proper blowjob. I recommend you the same". So the man drinks his beer quickly and leaves. The next evening the man comes back. "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-p-please". "I guess my advice didn't help you?" "N-no, b-but y-you've g-got a b-b-beautiful home".
Jaxon Sanders
I don't get it but I laughed.
Joseph Rogers
What does a Polish jew on a swing do?
Pissing off the German snipers
Jacob Thomas
que buen post y yo sin puntos que picardia!
Thomas Gray
Doesn't make much of a difference, but you reminded me of another one:
A Rabbi, a black man and a priest fly on a plane. Suddenly it starts to crash down, but there's not enough parachutes for everyone. The Rabbi says: "We must save the children!'. The black man replies: "Fuck the children". Next, the priest asks: "Do you think we have enough time for that?'
Josiah Williams
A man bought a hat an it was just.
Jose Reyes
What do you call a jew that can fly?
Fume
Christian Walker
A Brazilian and a Chinese man are peeing in urinals besides each other. The Brazilian guy notices a weird smudge on the Chinaman's dick, and inquires about it.
- Oh, it's actually a tattoo. When I get erect, it reads "Love". - Wow, I got a similar tattoo a while ago. When I get turned on, it reads "Memory of my vacations in Itaquaquecetuba".
Michael Reed
a black and an arab are in a car who one is driving ?
the police
Chase Brown
Man went to store. Shovel.
Carson Kelly
A man and wife drove over a skunk. The wife was an animal rights activist, so she wanted to save the skunk. The man said: "put it between your legs to keep it warm". "What about the smell", asked the wife, to which man replied: "I don't know, put your fingers in its nostrils or something."
Dylan Taylor
What is the hardest dare?
Shitting on the doorstep of a niggers' house and then telling him "hey your kid has melted"
Grayson Moore
Non-scandis won't get it, mon
Dårlig, svenskevitsene våres er jo bare idiotvitser med et annet offer
Ryder Reyes
You know what's the easiest way to write a polish novel?
#include int main() { for (int i=0; i < 1E6; i++) { std::cout
Bentley Kelly
A man walks into a bar and says "Ow!"
Wyatt Miller
Why do arabs ride camels and swedes drive volvos?
The arabs got to choose first
Jeremiah Myers
A man arrives at a traffic control.
The police tells him "you can keep driving, we're looking for a rapist"
a couple of minutes later the man comes back and says to the police "i thought about it, i'll do it"
Camden Hall
How would they get in if there wasn't a hole already?
Camden Evans
CRACKING jokes mate. Really good stuff.
Cooper Walker
Would be funnier if you set it in Mexico
Austin Richardson
Lmoa
Anthony Martinez
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time
David Hill
kek
Henry Gray
Is that reallyajokefrom Colomvia
Aiden Russell
Q: What's the value of a contour integral around Western Europe? A: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe.
Logan Jenkins
An Englishman wanted to learn Russian so badly he was ready to become a Russian himself. He traveled to meet the best brain surgeon to ask if it was possible. "That can be arranged, we just have to remove 20% of your brains" The man agreed and the operation began immediately. When the man woke up he saw the surgeon with a very worried look on his face. "I deeply apologize", said the surgeon, "but a terrible mistake has happened. We accidentally removed 80% of your brain". "Det gör ingenting", the man replied.
Chase Johnson
Always loved this one. It's so quick to say and is hilarious, usually takes people a few seconds to et it and you can see it in their face when they do.
Pretty good.
Pretty kek
Pretty good
heard it many times
good
Can't be asked to read the rest.
Here's some,
Some old Japanese couple gave me a very nice camera down by the Washington Monument. I couldn't really understand them but it was very nice.
Brits are more inbred than a toast sandwich.
My wife and I have decided that we don't want children. So we dropped them off at the fire station.
Camden Price
...
Christian Sanders
A german, a norwegian, the pilot and a swede were onboard of a plane when something went wrong. The plane was about to crash, so everyone was required to jump. But there were only 3 parachutes. The swede exclaimed towards the pilot: "you can take mine" "why did you give away the parachute?" asked the norwegian "dont worry", said the swede. "It was only the carrying bag"
Aaron Martinez
Typhus Tuberculosis Cancer, Vagina
This is seriously a dutch joke. Diseases are kanker funny.
Ayden Gonzalez
How do you know your sister has her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
How do you turn a cat into a dog? Pour gasoline on it and set it on fire. Woof!
Aaron Mitchell
I dont get it
Chase Barnes
...
Samuel Long
An american walks into a bar he sues the owner for a million bucks
Jacob Butler
nice
Cameron Richardson
What do you call a group of blacks hanging from a tree? Mississippi windchimes
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
How was copper wire invented? Two jews fighting over a penny
Why is there cotton in the tops of pill bottles? To remind blacks that they're cotton pickers before drug dealers.
James Gonzalez
man, great jokes, you could be a stand up comedian
Nathaniel Watson
Three friends, a Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian are cast away on a large desert island. After days of wandering around, starving, they find a genie's lamp. The genie grants them each a wish. The Norwegian wishes he was on a cruise ship in the Caribbean having a nice drink. Poof! There he goes. The Finn wishes he was in his summer cabin drinking a cold beer. Poof! There he goes. The swede felt sad and lonely: "I wish my friends were here".
Nicholas Flores
Only donkey of a village got sick. Being fucked by a human was her only cure. Nobody wanted to do it as expected, so they found a Kürt from a neighbour village and asked him if he wanted to do it for 40 gold coins. He said "I will be right back" and came hours later with a bloody pouch of gold: "I was able to get 20 coins for now, is it okay?"
Jaxson Bailey
>Nobody wanted to do it as expected, not very realistic, 2/10
Jose Richardson
"How do you say loudmouth in Belgian?" "MOUTH"
Gavin Bennett
>offended
Jonathan Scott
>Belgian
I thought they spoke french
Thomas Harris
>nip humor
Ryan Harris
you make a good point
Adrian Williams
Two guys meet at the French-Belgian border:
"Hey, I'm gonna tell you a joke about Belgians" "No way mate, I'm Belgian" "Don't worry, I'll tell it twice for you"
Jose Lopez
A jew, a gypsy and a robber enter in a bar The barman kicks him out
Ethan Morales
Better as "Two men walked into a bar; the third guy ducked"
Jeremiah Walker
two girls go to Africa and they see a crocodile. One ask the other: "What´s that?" and she responds: "Oh, how dumb you are! That´s obviousy a Lacoste original!"
Women are stupid amirite kek
Austin King
Someone told me the story pf a chair, it was bent
Nathan Turner
Why do americans have niggers while italians have mafia? Italians chose first
Alexander Lee
Kek
Brody Green
This is dutch classic:
Why do muslim immigrants always massively go to the mosque on friday?
They are praying for the welfare bureau to re-open on monday.