Be american

>be american
>still a baby
>get dick mutilated
>be cut so dick dries constantly
>just a gentle touch and the skin tears
>dick looks like a dried mushhroom
>have to carry every day a bottle of dick water just to constantly moisturize it
>have to do it around every six hours
>skip or forget a dip, dick starts to itch like crazy and start to get mood swings
>forget dick water dip
>start a shooting
>want to fap, need a quick dip in the dick water
>want to fuck, need a quick dip in the dick water

why is dick water the most secret thing in american culture?

>americans tip the jew who cut their dicks

Why are europeans obsessed with the penises of American babies?

>be American
>Go out shopping aka McDonalds
>Busy Saturday
>Packed
>Dick feels dry
>Rush to designated cock moisturising toilets
>Massive queue
>Cock falls off
>

>why is dick water the most secret thing in american culture?
whats dick water?

Concerned of being jew'd.

>be american
>be baby
>get dick skin cut off
>now have to dip dick in water to use it
>forget to do it for 30 minutes
>dick instantly looks like butterfly boy's skin
>excruciating pain
>fellow american recognises my plight
>unzips my pants and puts my dick in some dick water
>instant relief
>will never forget to put dick in dick water again

well since you can't trust american tap water there's bottle water (walmart has a special section) that you use to moisturize your dick since it dries like crazy

its a cup of water by your bed side you dip your dick in when it gets dry ???

in fact earlier today i had a crazy itchy dick and it was because if forgot my portable dickwater at home

>be american
>filters his dick water to get rid of fluoride

...

What brand dick water do you guys use????

This is a picture of an American who didn't water his dick in a whole day

walmart brand dick water will get the job done but when i have extra cash i get the FIJI brand dick water

>be me 10th grade
>bit of a sperg but had some normie friends who brought me to parties
>At a party when a qt starts mirin hard
>start talking to her, shes really into me
>sensing the opportunity to get some succ I bring her into one of the bedrooms
>start making out when we get in
>she starts grabbing at my belt and pulling at my pants
>the powers of perception tell me Im gonna get the succ
>pull my pants down
>she starts sucking
>starts gagging and pulls my dick out of her mouth
>starts spitting out dry dick skin flakes
>leaves
>tfw realized I forgot to dip my dick in dick water earlier
>tfw I cucked myself out of succ because I for got to dip the dick

>be american
>cant take your dick water on the plane
>20+ hour flight
what do you do

hearty kek

>cant take your dick water on the plane
So that's why they clap after the plane lands.

If he is unable to water his dick, would he die?

it would be extremely irritating

It's like updog.

I hosted an American once (airbnb) but I didn't know about dick water at the time and pharmacies don't carry dick water here. I had to contact his embassy to get some dick water but it was already too late by the time they responded. We rushed him to the ER where he fell into a deep dick coma. They used gallons of dick water but he was completely unresponsive. He died of DDD* a few days later. It was terrible.

*Dry Dick Disease

I-is the reason Americans are so good in the Olympics at swimming because they constantly rejuvenate their dicks?

>be american
>go to the closest 7/11 to buy dick water
>tips saleslady
>sharts before leaving
>get out of the store
>get shot

Better be dead than having a dry dick tho

I rejuvenate my dick with your mum's cunt

You gotta stop making me laugh so hard, my dick is gonna fall off

looks like someone forgot to dip

delet

they d-tip the dick

lol every american knows that water doesn't really moisturize too well on its own
we prefer dick lotion and name brands only none of the cheap stuff

>be american
>finally get money to afford going to meet a friend in europe
>everything does smoothly, I stay at his place so I can get refill my dick water water bottle
>on the last day I fill it up again, head out to the airport
>on the line for the luggage inspection
>realize security wont let me pass because water bottle exceeds the maximum quantity allowed
>with the stress I start to feel a little itch
>security asks me to come forward and asks why I have such a big water bottle
>dont know what to say so I just look at his crotch area and again to the bottle
>I notice he understood something, come closer and whispers in my ear
>"i-is it dick water?"
>I nod yes
>winks at me and tells me I can pass
europeans are alright I guess

jfc i had a gf whos dad had the same thing happen
she was so traumatized she carried some dick water with her all the time

Designated dipping cup

As child I was always wondering what my great uncle did with his cup of water under the table. Now I know

I like this new meme

>meme

Dry dicks are no joke, Ivan.

US Marine getting his daily supply of bottled dick water

>Dry dicks are no joke, Ivan.
this. No American would admit it. You see them all the time with a bottle of dip water.

dipping your dick into this is critical if you want a good fap sesh

it shouldn't be ordinary water

Can I still dip my dick in dick water if I'm uncut?

good luck getting a legal DW prescription if you're uncut

For you

Daily reminder that circumcision was created by the Jews just so they could sell dick water™

this

the amount of money ive spent on dick water is insane

tfw dry dick

>walmart
>that's the only store he knows since he learned about it on Sup Forums

So, what other store do you use to buy your dick water?

Yeah man...I would have a savings account, but how could I ever save money AND afford dick water? You tell me...

I don't think you're going to outbanter the people in this thread buddy.

I get my dick water at Hy-Vee or sometimes even Fareway, but Walmart has the cheapest dick water and by far the widest selection.

next time post the original version please

Do americans have any microdickwasseries that help with this problem?

Okay. I will. Thank you. Saved. I love you.

>tfw you drink a sip out of your dick water cup instead of the drinking water one

fuggg

........they are supposed to be separated?

What have I done?

I can confirm.

Everyone in America carries dick water™ with them.

I did not believe before I got here but it's true.

BRUTAL
R
U
T
A
L

this goes in perpetual screenshot(s).

lol
underrated post

DESIGNATED DIPPING CUP

Reminder that the only reason why americans still practice circumcision is because of the dick water lobby's massive political power.

Include me in the screencap

there's already a Portuguese post.

All we want to hear from you burgeranons is
>i swear i wont let my children to be mulitated

Even if we save one dick from mulitation by shitposting here, i say it was worth it.

>one dick
one baby dick, for more awwwwww

Weak

be my guest.

He's a cut guy

memes aside when i was a kid i would jack off so much my dick would get red and raw and their would be scabs on the side