Tell a joke about the country your country jokes the most about

Tell a joke about the country your country jokes the most about

wtf hungary
wtf bosnia

>mfw estonia

why

If you're on a plane, how can you tell you're over Albania?
If you put your hand out, your watch will be gone

Thought it'd be france 2bh
Can't think of one off the top of my head about Ireland

>italy
>hungary
>bosnia

because we're a bunch of smug cucks

>Shitalia

Not surprised

What's 3 swedes on the bottom of a lake?

A good start.

And swedes are smugger and cucker than us, while norwegians are the smuggest but somehow not the cuckest overall.

>italy

trust no one etc

lmao at FUCKING BELGIUM

What the hell is Hungary's problem with Scots?

tell a joke

They're essentially the Americans of Yurop

isn't there a series of pics of George Bush visiting albania and "losing" his watch?

What do norweigans call their smart citizens?
-Swedes

A norweigan is watching porn and spots his wife in a scene
-"thank god it's on tv and not real", he says

Do you know why the norweigan got so happy when he finished his puzzle in three days?
-because it said on the box "3 to 4 years"

and then the swede gets his ass fucked by niggers

Another quality post by our friend from the other side of the equator.

There is a German,a Grek and an Albo on a helicopter

The german stands up and says "I wil lthrow this watch of the helicopter,because in my country we have many watches"
The albo follows "I will throw this shoe of the helicopter,because in Albania we produce alot of shoes"
The greek follows "I will throw this Albanian of the helicopter because we have too many of them in Greece"

Who is faster than an albo with a stolen TV?

His cousin with the stolen DVD

>Hungary
I take it you don't know which one that is?

In a car there is an albo,a gyppo and a tatar

Who drives?

The cop

Long one, told in Portugal.

There’s a village in the Portuguese/Spanish border where Portuguese and Spanish live side by side. One day, the priest gets sick, so a Portuguese man replaces him for mass.
Turning to his audience, he says:
“God made us equal so that we learned to live with each other and trust each other like brothers. The only ones you shouldn’t trust are the filthy Spanish, since they will lie to you every time they can.”
Arguments and fights erupt in the crowd. When the infighting finally ceases, three people had already been injured. The priest gets called by his superior and is told that he must stop this kind of nationalist comments.

The next day, the priest turns to his public and says “S.Paul frequently criticized immoral people with his letters. I know that, if he was alive today, he would write a book denouncing the Spanish and their filthy, degenerate behavior”
The infighting is strong this time. One person almost dies and the whole village is in chaos. Wanting to stop a riot, the superior tells the priest that he shall focus on the Bible and never utter a word against the Spanish. On the next day, during mass:

“My brothers, we are approaching easter, a time of love and compassion. Let us forget all this infighting and focus on the Bible for today. I would like to talk about the last supper of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. .... even in this night, before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice.”

The people watched on and on, paying attention to the priest words:
“- Is it me? – Said John.
“- No John, it is not you.”
“ – Will it be me, my Lord? – said Paul.
“- No, it will not be you either”.
And then Judas asks “Entonces, ¿quién es el traidor, mi señor?”

>A norweigan is watching porn and spots his wife in a scene
>-"thank god it's on tv and not real", he says

>A Swede joking about cuckoldry
>not self-deprecating
You lack self-awareness.

>when everyone around you is obsessed

Bosnia and Sweden beat you in that one

we're tied with swedes
also belgium

An Englishman, a Finn and a Swede were competing over whose language is the most beautiful one. They selected a poem that everyone had to read on their own language.

The Englishman began:
"Island, island,
grassy island,
grassy island's lady"

The Finn was next:
"Saari, saari,
heinäsaari,
heinäsaaren neito"

Then the Swede get to recite his poem:
"Ö ö,
hö ö,
hö ös mö"

mfw Swedes and Greeks are bullied by everyone

Belarus does not make jokes

Honestly I think our jokes are more regional than anything:

A guy from Toronto wants to become a Newfie. He goes to a surgeon and asks if this is possible. The surgeon tells him "absolutely, we just have to cut out 1/3 of your brain and you'll be a Newfie." The guy agrees and they put him under.

So after the guy wakes up from the operation the surgeon tells him "I'm sorry, but there has been a terrible accident, we mistakenly cut out 2/3 of your brain" to which the man replied "Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?"

Hot Ukrainian tours! Anywhere and forever.

...

lel

I really shed a tear of joy reading our poem, such awesome poem.

A dumb swede, a smart swede, Tooth fairy and Santa Claus were walking on a street. A $100 bill lays on the ground. Who picked it up?

-No one, because dumb swede thought it was a candy wrapper and the rest don't exist.

WW2 era Italian rifles are all in excellent condition to this day. They were never fired and only dropped once.

success breeds...

Everyone has rwgional jokes.

What do you get when you crossbreed tortoise with a monkey?

-Tampere man with a helmet.

t. greek

A belgian lights a match, blows it out immediately and puts it in his pocket.

"I'll save that one because it works"

nice

I hadn't heard this one before. I love it.

- why do you hohols have such stupid language, nezabarom (soon in ukrainian) ... this is like near the bar, right?.
And the entrance in the country written with obscene words "Nehyj shastat'" (nothing to do here)
It's for you nothing to do here, but "Nehaj Schastyt'" (Good luck) for us.

this looks so unfunny in english tb h

People get very emotional because they are jealous of Greece.
like you

kek nice

Why would anybody be jealous to Greece? Well, maybe Albania is.

Greeks are friendlier than Eastern Europeans.

>citation needed

visit Greece

>What the hell is Hungary's problem with Scots?

Jokes about Scots are always on the topic of them being cheap or stupid or both. So, the explanation I choose to believe was, during communism our leaders being jewish, saying a jewish joke could get you into trouble, so people looked for some people living far away and basically being unknown for the general population, and simply replaced jews with Scots.

They're pretty lame, here's an example:

A scotsman approaches a taxi driver and asks:
- How much do you charge for a ride to the train station?
- About 10 pounds.
- And how much for the luggage transport?
- Luggage goes free.
- Good. Take these bags to the train station, I'm going on foot.

I disagree with the map. I know absolutely no jokes about Portugal. Most of our jokes are about Spanish regions, for example:
> Andalusians are lazy
> Basques are physically strong but stupid, and everything is blown out of proportion in the Basque country
> Catalans are greedy
> Madrileños are arrogant
> Galicians are chronically indecisive

As far as foreign countries are concerned, we definitely have more jokes about Argentina (egotistical, arrogant people who can talk for hours) than about Portugal.

>Jokes about Scots are always on the topic of them being cheap or stupid or both.
Same here

Why does the Greek alphabet has so little letters?
Because they sold most to pay debts

How do 4 Greeks sit in a chair?
Everybody knows it

Greek:Greek names tell a lot about them?
Albanian:Ok Mr.Bythqiris

A Greek thinking S.Albanians are Greek goes there to see. He comes back and tells his friend they're not Greek.
Friend: Why?
Greek: Men and women had sex together

The human is called homo sapiens
The Greek is called homo sexual

An Englishman goes to Greece. After he arrived in a hotel he goes to the bathroom. He flushes, wash his hands and turns the TV on. 300 islands had been sunk mysteriously.

Scots are known for being cheap tbqh

our "international" jokes usually incude people from various countries (german, french, brit) and the italian usually delivers the punchline

albanians are subhumans

Every joke about Estonians in a nutshell:
>lel Estonians are slow
>haha

A Swedish athlete came seventh on a running competition. Next morning Aftonbladet printed a story with huge headline "It requires six foreigners to win one Swede".

we don't have this type of jokes about 1 single nationality, the most similar are jew jokes

Two Swedish couples were tired with their relationship... They decided to change partners. The new couples went to their rooms and during sex one of the women said "I wonder how the boys are doing".

I have a Soviet book somewhere upstairs that has hundreds of jokes about many Soviet nations/ethnicities. Those get rehashed a lot these days to fit the current political climate. Most of the jokes I remember are about Russians, Jews and the people of Northern Caucasus.

How did the Bosnians come to be?
A bear fucked a beech tree.

This is true, but since most of us have Scottish blood, we replaced the subject with Dutch people.

In Belarus is no joke, only sad

> >lel Estonians are slow
I think soviets/old people used to do this too

And generic nigger and gypsies jokes

I would, but we don't consider it a country.

The absolute state of Sweden

Pasta

football match, two greek teams playing
referee throws coin, 2000 wounded

why greeks never buy fridges? because they believe that after closing the door the light doesn't go off

a car hits a greek man and the owner of the car gets out begging to the greek not to call the police
-i'll take you to the hospital and pay everything so please dont call anyone
-can I borrow you phone for a min to call my wife
-sr
-evgjeni don't cook anything today I'm eating by the hospital


a greek man returns home with an expensive bottle of wine but while climbing the stairs he falls and finds himself covered in red and says
-please let it be blood


an albanian and his 5yo son share the same bus with a greek
the kid starts mimicking the greek
>tell your son to stop
>son stop acting like a peder

Very rude, apologize right now.

10/10

But here we mostly joke about ourselves, desu. Spain never much enter the joke, unless you count insulting people of doing things the non-manly way, but even then it's rare.

How do you say "an airplane" in Slovak?
>pointing to a sky and doing monkey noises

Surprised it's not pontic greeks for Greece, we joke about them a lot.

What should you do if a New Zealander throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

Nobody jokes about Schweiz.

>"Ö ö,
hö ö,
hö ös mö"

Kek

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

None.

jokes about fishes and big noses?

Everyone in Spain says two things about Portugal
1 - They make carpets
2 - All of their women have moustache

Albanians offered us next levels of retardation even further than pontic greeks.

>An irishman is watching Sup Forums and sees a meme about Sweden.
>-"Oh wow, I guess Sweden is meme", he says

Kek

It all stems from jealousy.
>finland hates us because we colonized them for 600 years
>norway hates us because we lorded over them for like 100 years or something
>denmark hates us because we stole their clay

I see many Americans use the same excuse: "success breeds jealousy".
But at the end of the day it's really just because you're a retarded faggot.

in the case of Greece
it is really jealousy

Americans don't typically crack jokes at any nation in specific. If anything we're more self depricating.

A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican are all on a cargo plane flying across the Atlantic. The plane begins to lose altitude from there being too much cargo. The Canadian pushes a massive crate of maple syrup out of the plane and exclaims "We have so much maple syrup in Canada we can afford to lose this.". The Mexican follows suit and pushes a massive crate of maize out of the plane and exclaims "We have so much maize in Mexico we can afford to lose this.". The American follows suit and throws the Mexican out of the plane. The Canadian looks at him in shock and asks "Why did you do that? You could have thrown out your massive crate of guns!". The American turns to look at the Canadian and yells back "He fucked my wife!".

>probably less than 50% at this point

We're not smug, only cucks who desperately want to be like the Scandinavians they suck up to.

My point exactly

Whats the difference between a cow and a guy from belgium. Gender.

Why did the pollack throw his alarm clock out the window?

He was mentally retarded.

Finland doesnt hate Sweden. It's mostly just banter, like teasing your gay friend.

A shitload of Finns legitimately hate Russia because of the Winter War.

>like teasing your gay friend.
>gay friends
Fucking 1st world lol

> They make carpets
Weird. I always thought our stereotype about the Portuguese is that they sell towels and tablecloth.

>How does an albanian woman fight terrorism?
>She has an abortion.

>How do u circumcise a Albanian?
>Kick his mother in the mouth.

What's the difference between a movie plot and Bosnia?

-Movie plot develops

>How do u circumcise a Albanian?
>Kick his mother in the mouth.

Explain it, I'm dumb ;_;

is this the american banter i've heard about?