ITT: we design a movie theater, one design suggestion at a time

ITT: we design a movie theater, one design suggestion at a time

no trashcans, plenty of wage cucks

Fish tanks.
I like my crab legs fresh.

Needs some falcon perches.

The memes are real.

Theater must serve alcohol

a dan schneider brothel

No emergency exits and a single entrance the theater shooter can lock up.

this

Lights turned on all the time

Complimentary anvils for crab legs
Falcon perches at every seat

Make sure every seat has headphones to hear the movie so you can't hear the shooter shooting everyone.

designated cuck seating

>free blood proof™ poncho with every ticket!

A special room that transforms you into a crab if you violate the no singles policy

Establish a no fly zone over the popcorn pits to avoid falcon shit from getting in there

no electronics allowed inside

Now you're just going too far

the perch sections would lose their premium price if they allowed commoners access for their pigeons

No jews allowed

>letting pigeons into your kinodome

move out of the ghetto

piss troughs at the front of the theater so you can have a tinkle without missing your movie :)

Why don't we just install stalls down in front so monkeys like yourself can throw shit at the screen

no whites allowed

This isn't targeted at OP specifically, but I don't get people who need to sit all the way at the back of a theatre. The fucking screen ends up turning into a small tablet sized screen.

Can't believe no one said this but...
Ok so to the left and right will be the machine gun nests. Now these babies tend to heat up, so shoot in three second bursts. In the event of capture, I will personally be issuing cyanide pills to be placed under the tongue, as so.

What fucking ghetto ass theatre to you go to?

Came here to post this

Black people who dress gangster, are not allowed.

Fucking kek

Cineplex.
But even in the bigger auditoriums, I've noticed that sitting all the way back, just reduces screen size. It's fucking stupid. middle row, middle seats is optimal.

Membership required to enter, can only be obtained with kino card

How about..
Every theatre has a 7 feet tall black nigger chad that takes your cellphone and throws it in the garbage?

If you retaliate, he'll just kill you and steal your gf.

Seems reasonable. Please don't disagree.

Get rid of the front few rows, and back few rows so that it is only middle rows left. No more craning my neck at the front or not being able to see at the back.

Say there is 100 rows. Get rid of first 33 in front, last 33 in back. And then all that is left is prime middle rows. No one has to be at the front or back again.

Can this machine gun be modified to target cellphone users?

This guy gets it!
Thank you.

How fucking poor are you you don't live near a theatre with ampatheatre seating?

You'd still be at the front or back at the amphitheater. I would get rid of the front or back so you just have middle rows.

I have had a thought that getting rid of front and back would allow more space for middle rows. Why isn't this already being done at cinemas around the world?!

Every seat has a butt dildo that vibrates in sync with every sex scene shown.

Seats can move just like carnival bumper cars and you have to jostle each other to get the best viewing spot.

communial showers

At least 5 anvils near the consession stand

let everyone record five second clips of the film to share online to generate a buzz

The thing is, some people LIKE going in the front. If you don't, why don't you just go in the middle? No one is forcing you to sit in the front or rear 33 rows.
The rear rows are for drinking and making out duh

Include a vending machine that dispenses Bane masks. Set up a TDKR pinball machine around the corner as well.

>tense scene of the movie
>someone walks up to the front to piss
>must be a great piss because he's moaning all loud going "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
>theater shooter doesn't get here until the climax of the film

Electric razors that don't make a sound. My cinema barber always uses it and its too loud so I always miss whats being said in the movie

The Third Cupholder.

>Seats can move just like carnival bumper cars and you have to jostle each other to get the best viewing spot

spit out my drink imagining this

...

Multiple screens, playing multiple movies on every wall so you can look at and watch what ever you want at any time, in case you get bored.

...

selfie stations
share buttons on the seats
live tweets along the bottom of the screen
dubstep playing in the background