Luke, did I ever tell you how I was still a Padawan in my 30's and only stopped being one after I let my Master die...

>Luke, did I ever tell you how I was still a Padawan in my 30's and only stopped being one after I let my Master die? I was a bad apprentice.

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What did he mean by this?
Is he our guy
Who is your favorite .... Sup Forums
Now that the dust has settled....
Who was in the right here
Ergo...

>Luke, did I ever tell you how I used force speed to run down a hallway really fast in Episode 1 and then never used it again even though it would have come in useful in many situations

Luke, did I ever tell you the Empire is a white supremacist (human) organization?

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Jizz? No, not that kind Jizz is an upbeat, swinging genre of music, most notably performed by Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes and the Max Rebo Band. Your sister Leia was quite the Jizz player in her younger years

ey luke
*sniff*
masku summin
*rubs head*
i ever tell you bout the time i fucked lori?
*gives carl a gun*
i was a bad friend

>Luke, did I ever tell you about breasts? Breasts were the mammary glands of mammalian species. During the Age of the Empire, Thane Kyrell's petulant older brother Dalven Kyrell disparaged Thane's friend Ciena Ree and suggested that his younger brother go after another girl who had breasts already. Enraged by Dalven's discourteous remarks, Thane punched him before being pulled apart by their parents Oris and Ganaire Kyrell.

Now that the dust is settled, was he a good friend?

>Luke, did I ever tell you about chairs? Chairs were pieces of furniture humanoids could sit in or on (depending on the type of the chair). Chairs came in many shapes and styles, and chairs that could hover also existed. Chairs were common household items throughout the galaxy. Chair is a good friend.

Did i ever tell you about spinning? It was a good trick.

>Hey, kid, do you know I once had the most comfortable chair ever designed?

>Luke did I ever tell you about your third clone Luuuke Skywalker? He was created by Grand Admiral Thrawn to serve as his agent in the galactic community, which the Admiral controlled secretly using a legion of clones to replace prominent people. After warding off the Lost Tribe of Sith when they emerged in 43 and 44 ABY, Thrawn's first clone of Luke, Luuke Skywalker, retired after serving Thrawn since the original's death. Luuke was replaced summarily with Luuuke. He was a good Friend

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Luuuke_Skywalker

Luke, did I ever tell you the rebellion is a safe place?

>Dr. Pavel, did I ever tell you about Dormammu? Dormammu was our guy and a big guy, but he didn't watch it when I came to bargain. It was extremely painful for him and I now know having Raimi write the script was a mistake. He was a bad friend, for me.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about beds? A bed was a piece of furniture designed to sleep on and perhaps dream. Beds were a common fixture in many households and living quarters in the Galactic Republic and the Galactic Empire. Specific types included the bunk, often found in military settings, and the featherbed. They were comfy friends.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I oversaw the creation and training of the entire Imperial Army? Their long-necked autistic creators got an anonymous crank call from a sith lord and the Council didn't get billed until I visited, I discovered the planet after pulling their sperm donor's dart from a dead transvestite and showing it to my old buddy Dax, he was a good friend.

Is this the new lego star wars game?

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Blue milk? Blue milk, also known as Bantha milk, was a rich blue-colored milk produced by female banthas. Sentients drank it, and also used it in Ice cream, butter and Yogurt. It was notably available on Outer Rim planets such as Tatooine and Lothal. During a lightsaber training session, the young Ezra Bridger had to protect himself as the astromech droid Chopper kept lobbing jugs of blue milk at him. Blue milk was also a fundamental ingredient in blue milk custard.Your mother once served blue milk to your father as your Aunt does to you. She served it the morning after you father killed an entire village of Sand people with women and children after the men kidnapped your grandmother and raper here for weeks. But it's a good thing that you can drink blue milk and forget about why your father hated this planet of sand in the first place. Me on the other hand, had to eat shit and dirt for almost 20 years with the force ghost of my old master. Owen would never talk to me or even give me some blue milk because he believed I would be a threat to you. If we were good friends, I would have prevented the storm troopers from burning him and his wife alive. Blue milk makes good friends.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I felt your father's tension in the turbolift? I hadn't felt him that tense since we fell into that nest of gundarks. He was a good friend.

...

Luke, did I ever tell you about Droidekas? Two of them could easily outmatch me and my master in combat. Luckily they were never seen again. They were a good toy.

...

>Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Clinton "the wise"? I thought not. It's not a story the Republicans would tell you. It's a Democrat legend. Darth Clinton was a Dark Lord of the Democrats, so powerful and so wise she could use the donors to influence the elections to create votes... She had such a knowledge of the dark side that she could even keep herself from being indicted. The dark side of the donors is a pathway to many privileges some consider to be illegal. She became so powerful... the only thing she was afraid of was losing the election again, which eventually, of course, she did. Unfortunately, she forgot everything she knew about running a campaign, then a orange billionaire who picked up politics as a hobby last year blew her the fuck out. It's ironic she could save herself from going before a grand jury, but she was found wanting by the only jury that mattered.

Fuck off Drumpftard

>Luke, did I ever tell you about my home planet, Stewjon? At the Celebration V convention in Orlando, Florida, comedian and talk-show host Jon Stewart interviewed Lucas, and Stewart asked for the name of Obi-Wan Kenobi's home planet. Lucas jokingly replied that it was "Stewjon," a tuckerization of Stewart's name. The official StarWars.com Encyclopedia entry on Obi-Wan Kenobi later listed Stewjon as Kenobi's homeworld. It was a good planet

>Luke
>Luke, wake up
>I nearly forgot to warn you of the Unidentified garage owner. This garage owner lived on Klatooine, who acquired the Klatooinian Barada from his parents. Barada was sold due to being a disrespectful child and became the garage owner's indentured servant.
At a later date, the owner was challenged by Jabba the Hutt to a game of sabacc. Jabba rigged the game, and the garage owner soon lost both his garage and Barada. He was a good owner
>Now get some rest Luke

>Luke did I tell you about Doodnik Sharpelz? He was a good friend, though a different unrelated four-armed greasy spoon diner owning race, to Dex Jettser, he was a good friend.

What's it like to lose to literally Hitler?

Probably pretty bad considering Hitler lost his election
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_presidential_election,_1932