Luke, did I ever tell you about the time I left your sister to be raised as a wealthy princess in the lap of luxury on a gorgeous planet while leaving you on a hot, sandy rock with a surly old man who exploited your labor and wouldn't let you hang out with the few friends you had left? In fact it's the exact same planet your father was born on. We also left your grandmother to rot here in slavery instead of saving her at literally any time. Yes that's right us Jedi knew of slavery happening everywhere yet did nothing to stop it. Well anyway, it's all in the past so forget about it. I'm going to barely train you in space magic before sending you to fight your father. I'm sure you think this training is special but no we did this all the time with classrooms of younglings wearing special mini helmets. The same younglings your father butchered with that lightsaber I gave to you. He was a good friend.
Star Wars
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Why was Obi-Wan such a dick?
Because he was a good friend
From a certain point of view.
Han, did I ever tell you about that time when I met Yoda, the master of the Jedi order? We fought together on the Wookie home planet during the last days of the Clone Wars, and when Order 66 was executed and the clones started attacking their Jedi commanders, I helped Yoda escape. He was a good friend.
So it looks like the Force isn't just a superstition after all! But of course you can't understand a word of what I'm saying, so I'm just wasting my breath.
Retcons.
Kek
>But of course you can't understand a word of what I'm saying, so I'm just wasting my breath.
I feel bad for Chewie...
Queen, have I eve told you about the we had a communications disruption which could only mean one thing, inva-
>Luke, did I ever tell you these were your father's droids? We went on wild adventures together for over 3 years in the Clone Wars, and the little one even saved me from a swarm of buzz droids, yet I somehow don't recognize them anymore. They were good friends.
>Luke, please, you have to help me. I died a virgin. Oh my god Luke I'm going to be a virgin forever!
So is that how a jedi gets his power?
No wonder why anaken got so weak after he had a kid , Fucking normies
Luke did I ever tell you that your father hated sand, that's why we hid you on a sand planet
>Luke did I ever tell you your Grandmother was tortured and raped to death by Sandpeople?
...
>Luke did I ever tell you about the time I went to a bar while I sent your dad to go find an hired assassin?
>It was a good drink.
>Luke, did I ever tell you that you should be cautious when engaging in battle with tusken raiders?
>your grandmother was brutally raped to death by a settlement of sand people, who I can only assume constantly impregnated her
>she must have had lots of children Luke.
>so remember Luke, whenever you are fighting sand people, don't forgot the very, very high possibility that you are murdering your brothers and uncles
>in fact I'd say theres a good chance that you've been killing your family members by the dozens
>nearly positive in fact
>your father was a good friend
I don't even know this old man, and my friends refer to him as the town rapist. Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea.
So they were supposed to be absolutely flaming, right?
Why did Anakin give C3PO the personality of a neurotic fag?
Why did Anakin have the personality of a neurotic fag?
Luke did I ever tell you about Dexter Jettster and his 1950's themed diner? He was a good friend.
Luke did I ever tell you about the time we rescued a criminal Gungen who was exiled for life for nearly destroying his underwater city? Also this gungen was theorized to be secretly A SITH LORD?
>there's a canon explanation for why we never see Vader on Tatooine.
Luke, did I ever tell you about Luuke Skywalker? He was a genetic clone of you that was grown from cells extracted from the hand you lost during your duel with the Dark Lord Darth Vader on Cloud City. Your hand and lightsaber were recovered by Vader and taken to Emperor Sheev's Mount Tantiss storehouse on the planet Wayland. In 9 ABY, the insane clone Jedi Master Joruus C'baoth performed a mind trick on Imperial Grand Admiral Thrawn's subordinate, Captain Gilad Pellaeon, ordering him to make a special clone for him. The clone that later became Luuke Skywalker was grown in secret from sample B-2332-54, the sorting code assigned to your hand. The clone was grown in a Spaarti cloning cylinder over the period of less than a month. When he was ready, the clone was given Jedi training by C'baoth and over time became Luuke Skywalker.
starwars.wikia.com
Also Luke, did I ever tell you about your other clone, Luuuke Skywalker? He was a clone of you created by Grand Admiral Thrawn to serve as his agent in the galactic community, which the Admiral controlled secretly using a legion of clones to replace prominent people. After warding off the Lost Tribe of Sith, Luuke Skywalker, retired after serving Thrawn. Luuke was replaced summarily with Luuuke, who inherited duties as the Grand Master of the New Jedi Order and a significant political persona. Luuuke would go on to assemble a Clone Army comprised of the copies whom Thrawn had made over the decades. Working with another clone, Streeen, Luuuke devised a time machine that he used to attack the galaxy during the Clone Wars.
starwars.wikia.com
They were both good friends.
Luke, did I ever tell you about the time that you're father and I tracked down and killed a Sith lord who was played by Christopher Lee? If you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep.
KEK. such a good friend
Luke, did I ever tell you that your father killed your mother and all of the children who went to Jedi school?
He was a good friend.
Luke, did I ever tell you how much of a faggot (you) are?
...
Luke did I ever tell you about the time I became a meme and virgin nerds posted about me for years on a Hungarian interpretive clap forum?
Luke, did I ever tell you how I was once a respected actor before being cast in a kids movie with stupid creatures, beep booping robots, and a space ape?
You are not a good friend user
Fuck you plebbit
Well played you jibroni, well played
Because you should be thankful to those who treat you the worst. They make your grow as a human being, and take the sin on themselves.
But Han can understand wookie speech.
So why didn't Chewie tell him that Jedis and Force are real?
Obiwan: "Listen to what I have to tell you. I will sing it, because this way you will remember it better."
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How did the same man make both of these trilogies?
Chewie tried many times, but Han gets upset when Chewie talks about things Han doesn't believe in. Chewie is also very humble and does not brag.
wow han is a cunt
People helped him with the classic saga. The prequels he made on his own.
Well, what can you do when someone doesn't believe in the force. Doesn't mean they can be bros.
So he was always a hack, but because he was less popular originally he was reined in by good people?
*can't be bros
...
>This was your father's lightsaber. I somehow managed to acquire it from him as he lay burning and dismembered by a river of lava.
>Did I mention he murdered dozens of children with it? He was a good friend.
basically
he gave them hours of sci fi twaddle and other people made it into a good movie
Luke, did I ever tell you about the most comfortable chair ever designed? This chair was, as of 5 ABY, the most comfortable one that had ever been designed. It floated, and was capable of rocking in a gentle motion that Leia Organa found relaxing.
This is why the Caliphate is necessary
pretty much. He also had a lot of budget and technology constraints, especially in ANH, so he couldn't do all the assfaggotry he did in the prequel series. They had to think outside the box to make a lot of the effects work. Some of the shit on the death star trench run is literally lucas driving by a tabletop with death star models on it and throwing explosives from the back of a pickup truck.
The director of Empire Strikes Back was pretty noted also as a good character builder.
Luke, did I ever tell you about George Lucas? He created an epic space opera titled Star Wars, which went through a troubled production process, however, was a surprise hit, becoming the highest-grossing film at the time, as well as a winner of 6 Academy Awards and a cultural phenomenon. Following the first Star Wars film, Lucas produced and co-wrote the following installments in the trilogy, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. For over a decade, the saga was considered the greatest in cinematic history. Before the dark times, before the Prequels.
Oh, and he was a good friend, from a certain point of view.....
Disney had nothing to do with Luuke or Luuuke.