ITT: Your favorite quotes from either the American or UK versions of The Office

ITT: Your favorite quotes from either the American or UK versions of The Office.

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youtube.com/watch?v=_9ZhDN_HBbI
youtube.com/watch?v=NHh0rf0ojEc
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

I DECLARE
BANKRUPTCY

"No Michael, there's a lake there!"

the office, is that the one with the guy who can't get any cake?

WHERE ARE THE
TURTLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

youtube.com/watch?v=_9ZhDN_HBbI

[reading form] "What is your mother's maiden name?" What's her first name?! I just knew her as "Ma"! That'll have to do. [Scribbles onto the form] Ma...possibly deceased.

Funniest I ever laughed was that face Ryan gives after he gets the promotion and tells whats her face it's over. Then it cuts to the credits.

Darrel says exactly what he thinks,
What kind of game is that?

No one is willing to admit that wine doesn't actually have a taste.
>Of course you can't taste anything, you smoke eighty bajillion cigarettes a day. >What's that?
What?
>What's that you're eating?
It's some sort of delicious biscuit.
>It's a coaster.
Is it? Are there any more?

[Very drunk] Why do you have a fridge in your bathroom? I'm on the toilet, right, and then Jimmy comes in, and he's drinking milk from the fridge, and that's all wrong - it's unhygienic. And what were you thinking when you said to yourselves, "Oh yeah, I'll get a wicker toilet"?


You think I should wash my beard?
>Yes, I think you should wash it. Then you should shave it off, nail it to a frisbee, and fling it over a rainbow.


You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.


>Excuse me there seems to be some sort of mistake. I bought a drink and some popcorn and now I have no money.
Theater Worker: That's how much it costs.
>Why? Is it special popcorn? Does it produce some kind of dizzying high?


Oh my god! Mickey Rourke had another facelift. He looks like his trousers.

[runs up to his 'summer girlfriend' wearing an accordion]
Hello! I've come to serenade you. I can't play guitar. I can't play this either, but I thought it'd be less obvious.


I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing I'm here at all.
Customer: Look, there's no other way to say this, but I didn't come in here to be insulted.
Well, I didn't ask for the job of insulting you. In another life, we could have been brothers. Running a small, quirky taverna in Sicily. Maybe we would have married the local twins instead of wasting each other's time here in this dump. But it was not to be. So hop it.

PARKOR

DID I STAMMER MICHAEL???

>Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant
I think you mean "smug."
>[pointing at Jim] Arrogance.
Micheal, I'm just trying to-
>And there's our smudgeness

>HEY MR. SCOTT, WATCHU GONNA DO, WATCHU GONNA DO MAKE OUR DREAMS COME TRUE

RI DI DI DOO DOO

Michael sorting the trash
>Pam: We don't recycle here
>Michael: We don't? Why have I been separating the trash into whites and colors?

You, my friend, would be da belle of da ball.

...

"Who knows, it's..nebulose"

"That's sort of an oaky afterbirth"

>Toby: "alfredo's pizza picked my card so I got free pizzas for a year"
>"so our tragedy is your good luck...satan"

>she took me by the hand
it took me another watch to realize he was singing about her, disgusting.
Perhaps the best episode of television.

Itt: quotes from the only office that matters

youtube.com/watch?v=NHh0rf0ojEc

Both?