My wife wants me to cum in a cup. What's that old phrase Raymond, monkey see monkey do...

>My wife wants me to cum in a cup. What's that old phrase Raymond, monkey see monkey do? Well I've an old glove and a pistol in my SUV parked out back , and I'm feeling like fucking OJ.

7/10

>rating his own post

WDHMBT?

You find out who killed him, Ray.

Case on, motherfucker.

Lebrons?

>Life is like a box of chocolate huh. Well I got news for you pal, now the box is empty and the chocolate has long since been eaten. Ray knew that.

THE WALRUS LOST

No matter how bad these are I can always hear them in his voice and I always laugh.

>people have told me that a life lived for others is the only life worth living. Well I've been living for others my whole life and you know what I found out? They're all fucking dead.

>You tried to kill two birds with one stone. Well guess what, me and my wife, we're fuckin' hawks, and you have bad aim.

Imagine being Colin Farrell in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Vince Vaughn, you fuckin' eloquent, all sage with your elaborate vocabulary and horrific pretentious analogies. I would totally be shaken by your rethoric, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is shoot another scene with Rachel McAdams. Like seriously imagine having to be Colin and not only stand in that pier while Vince Vaughn flaunts his stilted solliloquy in front of you, the emotionless delivery barely concealing the excesive verbose and lack of pathos, and just stand there, take after take, hour after hour, while he perfected that monologue. Not only having to tolerate his grating fucking deliberate pauses but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him he's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, VINCE VAUGHN VAN DELIVER DIALOGUE LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to stand there and watch his droopy mouth conjure awkward declamations you didn't even think were possible before that day. You've been acting opposite nothing but a healthy diet of Al Pacinos, Tom Cruises and later alleged Ben Afflecks for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Ireland. You've never even seen anything this fucking bad before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his wrinkled forehead as he frowns menacingly at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to stand there and revel in his "subdued (for that is what he calls himself)" performance, the performance he worked so hard for with personal acting coaches in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could outact the shit out of Vaughn before the studio security could put you down, but you stand there and endure, because you're fucking Colin. You're not going to lose your future Harry Potter career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

Saved a man from drowning the other day. Gave him the kiss of life and everything. And you know what he did, Ray? He thanked me. The asshole fucking thanked me.

Share ONE actual quote he did in this style of meme I dare you. Spoiler alert: he doesn't, meme forcers

Never do anything out of hunger, not even eating.

Never lost a tooth. Not even a fucking cavity.

>People always tell you to kill two birds with one stone. Well fuck that Ray, this little birdie is tired and is about to find two goddamn rocks to smash.

...

>They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, huh? We'll I've had my hand in few bird's bushes Ray, and not one of them has been worth anything.

which one starts of with

>they say a stitch in time saves nine

cant remember the rest

brilliant

> the midst of being gangbanged by forces unseen, I figure I'd drill a new orifice, go on and fuck myself for a change.

Pain is inexhaustable. It's only people that get exhausted.