Sorry Sir, we have a No Singles policy here

>Sorry Sir, we have a No Singles policy here.

What do Sup Forums?

b-b-but i've already fed my falcon chow and bought myself a bucket of crab legs... i even brought my anvil

Yeah sorry, my wife is Busy with Robert.Can you give them 10 Minutes?

listen here JEW-les i will watch my marvel cinematic universe or else i shall become... irate. and you wouldnt want that.

Why are you white?

Oh sorry, here's a twenty

getting them dubs

TWINK
W
I
N
K

He would be an excellent trap.

pic related

checked

Fuck off, Jules.

roll dubs

"You look cute. Would you dine with me?"

Sue them for discrimination

>No, sorry, sir, we don't have Pringles.

What fucking place is this?

>M-meet m-my friend, Mr. Washington

Well I'm not single, you're my trap bitch.

Well, check these dubs then

When did Baron Trump start working at a theater?

Where's my nigga Robert? He can vouch for me

in reality jules would have one arm freak arm and be in a wheelchair

how many of you cucks would let a teenager stop you?

>push him aside and go to the movie you want to watch
>management follows soon after and tell you that you need to leave

What then?

>oh my bf is already inside i had to go to the toilet first
There

see

*whips out waifu pillow*

If they refuse to take my singles I'll pay them in pennies. Ass Pennies.

*whips gun out for beta uprising*

>On a beautiful Sunday afternoon, user decides it's time to leave the darkened shelter of his mother's basement and venture outside to sit in a darkened theater and see his favorite pre-teen actresses new movie
>He pulls up to the parking lot, excited to finally be out of the house for the first time since his mom's other, half black, son, Keyontay was murdered by a savage white privileged male policemen
>He struts over to the ticket booth, eager to hand over those good boy bucks to the smiling young man behind the glass
>"One ticket for...."
>"Just one ticket, sir?"
>"Yeah, I'm by myself."
>"Um, I'm sorry to tell you this sir, but we have a no singles policy here at this theater. Maybe call your girlfriend and see if she wants to come see it. Ha ha!"
>"Y-y-yeah, I got her on speed dial"
>user, is shocked, shaken, and petrified with disbelief
>When all hope is lost, he spots out of the corner of his eye Jules sitting at the ticket taker booth
>Jules was anons homely, nerdy, aspergian friend from high school who lived his whole life with one arm and in a wheel chair
>user wasn't ever particularly fond of Jules,but he was one of the few kids kind enough to sit with him at lunch, largely because he had very few friends of his own
>"Oh my god, Jules!" user shouts, "How have you been? Haven't seen you in so long!"
>"I'm great user, I've been working here for two years now and I get free crab legs as an employee benefit."
>"Gee that's great, but could you do me a favor? That asshole at the ticket booth won't let me get a ticket because I'm here by myself. Could you just let me in as an old friend?"
>"I'm sorry user but we have a no singles policy here"
>"What? Fuck that, we were best friends back in high school, just do this one favor for me."
>"I'm sorry user. There's nothing I can do."
>"Y-yeah, well fuck you man! I thought we were friends!'
>Panicking, user tries to walk past the ropes hoping he can just skirt past that wheelchair bound fuck

WHERE IS JAMAL MY BRO?

makes jewles there my GF for the movie

>yfw jewles blowie during the latest edition to the marvel cinematic universe

>Turn around. Walk away. Because some roads you shouldn’t go down. Because maps used to say, “There be dragons here." Now they don’t. But that don’t mean the dragons aren’t there.

>Jules wheels quickly over, blocking user from entry
>In a daring move, user grabs Jules' wheel chair and pushes him out of the way
>"Nothing personal kid. I need my cunny."
>"Hey, stop that! I'm gonna get the manager!"
>Jules' rolls his wheelchair over anons foot, breaking it in three places
>user keels over, clutching his foot and screaming in pain
>The other theater goers all stop and stare. The manager rushes out of his office to see what's going on
>"Manager, user tried to get a ticket by himself and then walked in past me!"
>The crowd gasps in horror
>The manager is speechless that someone could commit such a heinous crime
>Still riddled with pain, user is sobbing when the police arrive to take him in
>After a month long trial user loses the case and is shipped to county
>He's taken to his cell, where, upon arrival he sees his roommate is a 6'9 tall 400 pound black guy with dreads down to his buttocks and a bulge bigger than Rocco Siffredi
>He gives him the creepiest rapiest smile user had ever seen
>"Oh officer, you now I just love me those sissy white bois!"
>user turns around to face the offer in horror
>"Officer! This can't be! There has to be some other cell I can stay in! Why not a single room cell! I'm a good boy, I'll be quiet and just jack off to hentai! Throw me in solitary! Anything, please!"
>The officer gives user a stern look and says: "I'm sorry sir, but we have a strict no singles policy here."

>it's fine kid, your mum's just running a bit late.

I'm meeting my friends inside you teenaged piece of shit get the fuck out of my way

>I'm meeting my friends inside you teenaged piece of shit get the fuck out of my way

Not gonna be single anymore when you go out with me, pretty boy ;)

hey there cutie I like your hair wanna go see a movie together

sick burn

But Im rob Reiner

Well, so you'll have to let me pass, pal

>not paying one of the hooked nose men infront of the showers $85 to see the kino with you to bypass the no singles policy

it's like you don't enjoy films or something

Damn.

WHERE IS ROBERT? WHERE IS ROBERT? IS THIS A PRACTICAL JOKE? IS HE HIDING IN THE SHOWERS TO SURPRISE ME?

High five my girlfriend. Single guys creep us both out.

>giving money to the hollywood jew

I have a girlfriend though. She lives in Canada which is why you've never met her.

Wow, glad I came all the way to the cinema to be ridiculed.

get robert here now before my falcon and I go mental

I have a girlfriend though. She lives in Anime which is why you've never met her.

Oh I'm not alone, good sir *unsheathes katana*

Oh ok
>walk out
>shitpost on Sup Forums

"Who I am with is none of your business. Move or die."

I'd bring your mom, but she's too busy sucking dick

No-one shoots up cinema's in England so it's not an issue.

why is he so cute

which would make you a non-single...GET OUT

>implying I live the land of "freedom"

r u girls

no

In my life I have probably been to the cinema alone about 8 times. Never had an issue. Who cares what other people think, not that anyone actually notices because its dark.

My reasons have been
-No one wanted to see a movie
-Was visting father in foreign country and second night winter soldier came out and I didn't want to get to be spoiled on TV so rushed to see it
-was in town after uni finished but before my friends got off work so need to kill time instead of going home then coming back into town so see a movie

why are you guys so insecure

fag

acquire doublons

o u t s m a r t e d