/brit/

...

*tannoy sounds*

This is a customer and colleague announcement. Would Sara Davidson please report to the bogs.

That's Sara Davidson... to the bogs.

Thank you.

*tannoy sounds again*

...

not a tarquin but i just cannot understand how people can watch almost anything on tv

...

“Goddamn kids with their stupid—rrragh! I am beyond late!” Mew Tuely angrily mused as she slid her sedan into her personal parking space, tires chirping as the vehicle popped to a slanted stop. The pokemon was in one hell of a rush this morning: owing primarily to a group of ghost-types that had held her up leaving her posh suburban home for nearly ten minutes, which kept her from beating the morning rush as usual, forced her onto the turnpike (which, go figure, turned out to be under heavy construction) and ultimately now had her arriving at her office almost thirty minutes behind schedule — on an early A.M meeting day like this one, this was unacceptable.
“Those idiots totally screwed me! Who the hell tries to panhandle with a roadside car-wash service at six in the morning! Uugh!” Tuely ranted further as she hustled towards the building’s entrance, dark-blue blazer and side-split pencil skirt swishing against her well-curved body and ebony heels clickity-clacking rapidly against the sidewalk as she went, assets a-jiggling all the way..
“If I ever see those punks again I’ll...I’ll...uh…”

Mew trailed off as she was forced to a sudden stop. Astonishingly, the very same gang of ghosts were brazenly loitering around her place of work’s main entrance! Pointed thoughts of how the malcontents managed to beat her here or why the bunch of Haunters were leering so eagerly her way fell by the wayside as Tuely’s rage took over. Unfortunately she couldn’t risk simply psy-beaming them away (like she had resorted to earlier this morning) considering the circumstances...so she summoned up some hidden reserves of restraint, grit her teeth and stomped onward, pushing her way through the crowd of ghastly goons determined to not give them even the time of day, let alone an ounce of her attention. She got an extra layer of shock when the gang began to speak up as she stalked between them, though.

chortling

Kill yourselves fucking scumbags

"Hey ma, good lookin’ out!”
“Ey look shorty’s followin’ us! Das alright lady we don’t mind the company…”
“Eh-heh-heh yo baby c’mon n’ chill wit us a while, eh?”
“Damn dat’s an ass I could tap all day! All day, son!”
“Nice tits bitch! Har har!”

Tuely ignored the jibes and cat-calls with relative ease, but just as she was nearly clear of the ghoulish gathering she felt a clawed, three-pronged paw slink around her back and grab a handful of her plush buttocks in a cheeky squeeze. Well, she couldn’t ignore that — Mew Tuely’s eyes emitted a violent fuchsia flash, and a powerful blast of psychic energy briefly lit up the well-landscaped entrance to the proud office building. When the dust settled, Tuely glanced around briefly to confirm with a satisfied nod that her countermeasure to the unsolicited groping had been successful. The ghosts were nowhere to be seen, so with one more pleased huff she turned on her heel and headed inside, refocusing her attention on the meeting she needed to lead this morning, and what sort of excuse she’d give for arriving so late.


***

IRELAND
SAVIOR OF EUROPE