ITT: things Russians never say

ITT: things Russians never say

I'll start: ''I don't drink''

"I feel...

I don't. Can't.
My pancreas doesn't work very well.

I don't want to suck your dick))))

I don't drink.

I eat ass

that machine gun nest?
without tank support?
I can't attack that

Im happy in my country, everything is fine, our girls are pure and loyal

I don't feel

>tfw poor brits will never experience зoж culture

only if you're cute
Im happy in my country, everything is fine, our gir-
Fuck you

but I don't drink you cunt

"My neighbourhood definitely needs more Caucasians and Central Asians"

Yeah, pretty much this.

"I will go on a march on 5th November"

"Ukraine deserves to be an independent country"

"Russia would be better, if commies had never seized power"

"I'm Christian and I hate islam"

what happens on the 5th of November

I have a Russian gf and she unironically doesn't drink. It kind of sucks desu. We went to Turkey on vacation last month and if she had more than three glasses of wine she became an uncontrollable, sloppy, mess, and I was guaranteed to not be getting laid that night.

We've got enough of land.

>I love you, user
Hold me lads

>im not a subhuman
>my country is a major world superpower
>everyone is happy
>we won ww2 fair

"Hitler and Stalin were equally bad"

How can you win a war unfair?

>land lease
>more people in battles not fighting fair 1v1

> fighting fair 1v1
Like this?
Lmao
You're funny

IM HAPPY
M

H
A
P
P
Y

do you even visit 2chhk/po?

> 2chhk
Not really
> po
Lol, never

I dunno but there has to be:"...yes?" at the end

>Wars are fought 1v1

Does animes corruption have no end?

"I support democratic government and freedom of speech"

Ignore the Nazi scum.

"I don't like Anime or traps because I'm not gay"

Hello there

>I'm Christian and I hate islam

>Russia would be better, if commies had never seized power
Literally every 2nd vatnik here says that

I'm happy

>not knowing that literally all of Sup Forums's Russians are either Jews, Tatar Muslims or posh Muscovites and that none of them drink alcohol

I actually don't drink. I hate the taste and smell of alcohol.
>our girl
Who cares, I'm gay anyway.
Stalin was worse, at least Hitler actually fought in the war instead of pushing fabricated stories about how he single-handedly saved the communist revolution.
I'm sympathetic to liberalism and democracy but I stopped caring when got a bit older and got preoccupied with my own life.

>2k17
>outdated Sup Forums memes
Why??

>implying
Anyway Yoba is a quintessential Russian meme.

II world war started at 1939.

Of course it did. In 1939 Britain and France declared war on Germany after in invaded Poland. In 1941 started the Great Patriotic War which refer to the Soviet-German war front. Get your facts together, dumb polack.

*after it had invaded
*which refers to

I hate kots
I love my countrymen

I wouldn't expect that from them, you surprised me user.

> fair 1v1
The purpose of war is to make things as unfair as possible for your enemy, m8. It's not a board game.

You meant 1937, right?

"We are Europeans"

isn't vatnik slang for Russian? Seems a bit weird for a Russian to use this word, or am I misunderstanding the meaning?

Safety first

You mean after Germany and Soviet invaded Poland together in 1939

Vatnik is a putin bot who believes anything putin/ russian media says

whoa, those are some solid proofs there

Really really really want a qt Russian bf (gay). How do I get one?

Karelia is Finnish clay

Vodka was invented by poles

I can be your bf.

...

So, will you be my bf?

Yes of course :)

...

Can we contact somewhere beside Sup Forums?

Aw, that's so cute. I'd like to have a Russian or American bf but I'll let you two together.

Asbestos is bad for health and should be illegal

мнe нpaвитcя жить

Ho мнe дeйcтвитeльнo нpaвитcя жить, дaжe в poccии.

Huh. How about:
"We recognize Ukraine as an independent nation" or
"We drive carefully and observe traffic laws"

I recognize Ukraine as an independent nation, and I don't drive.

Just post pics of confirming your cute boipussy first

I want to be your bf
tfw no russian bf

how do belarusian accents sound to you in Russian? are they nice?

"I respect homosexuality and love rainbow"

Rush A

Putin is an asshole!

We have more than enough land. We should return Karelia, Kaliningrad and the Southern Kuril Islands.

Domestic policy more important than geopolitics

>She doesn't drink
>Tells a story of her drinking a month ago
???

>The USSR couldn't have beat Nazi Germany without American economic aid and military support

If we created and implemented reforms to decrease corruption, organized crime and inequality while increasing standards of living for the entire country and not only Moscow, the ruble can become a hard currency.

I like Hittler

"I am sorry."
"I am not right."
"I love you."
"I am happy."
"I think you're a good person."
"Everything will be fine."
"Russians are not the best nation in the world."
"Foreigners are not soulless biorobots or talking animals, but the same people as us."

"I apologize for the Katyn massacre."

"I respect homosexuals and don't want to oppress them."

I voted.
I'm happy with my salary.
I'm optimistic towards the future.
I hate dubbed movies.
Бpaт 2 was a bad movie.
Academic cheating is bad.
Our roads are fantastic
I sure am glad what the government is doing against corruption.
The military budget is out of control.

Lithuania and the other Baltics should stay independent

>unironically doesn't drink
>if she had more than three glasses of wine

"Doesn't drink" means does not drink at all. Three glasses of 9% wine contain at least 50 grams of pure alcohol.

>how do belarusian accents sound to you in Russian?

Russian spoken in Belarus sounds very similar to our western dialects (Bryansk, Smolensk, Pskov, Novgorod).

>dubbed movies

I watch British and American movies and tv-shows dubbed into Russian simply because I don't like how does your language sound, desu.

Why do we even need so many languages, it would be so much better if all people in the world just spoke Russian.

Didnt Poland and Germany invaded Czechoslovakia first?

>vatnik
I've been trying to figure out what that sock was called for ages- thanks my man!

Oh, i'm happy with my salary, it's quite enough to rent a flat and buy cosumer electronics and some clothes as well. I love Russia's welfare system.

%%im fukken depressed now is this what you wanted%%

"prostitution is wrong"

>sock
Lul. That cultural gap between us tho

>renting flat
>not having 5+ free commie flats from grandparents

It always looked like a sock of glove to me. I even googled "russian meme sock" once.

I live with my parents in a suburban house in a 60k small town. My gran lives alone in a 3-room apartment in the town centre. I wanna go to Moscow to get a job and live there, but rent prices are ridiculously insane.

I was tempted to say something along the lines of "Stalin was a monster" or "People deserve to be free", but fact of the matter is that there are many decent, liberal thinking, cultured and good people in Russia. Obviously they won't show up anywhere close to power and are unlikely to post here, but still.

RIP lady Gorbanyevska, you will not be forgotten.

Haha weak

It's a quilted cotton jacket. Sounds fancy in english, but in russian it's just a thing from the past, soviets used to wear it cos it was cheap and warm. Now it's a symbol of crazy flag waving.

They're not that bad considering local wages

>there are many decent, liberal thinking, cultured and good people in Russia
Yes, you are right. But they are nowhere to be seen because they are swept under the carpet as outcasts. That's why 95% of idiots don't even know about them, and if they ever find out - they just won't take them seriously because of the reputation that Putin's crew created for them.

Maybe. I earn 35k here in this shithole of a town, and it's quite good considering average income in This Country. The problem is that Moscow (surprisingly) offers the same wages - which will only be enough to rent a lousy flat 1.5 hours from city centre.

I like my life
I am hopeful about my country's future

Dude, please. It hurts. Have some mercy.