Bonjour, mon name is Monsiour Ken.
I’m a 27 year old American Francophile (ouiaboo for you barbarians). I bake baguettes and croissants in my kitchen, and spend my days driving in roundabouts and playing superior French games (Little Big Adventure, Alone in the Dark, Beyond Good and Evil, Another World).
I train with my baguette every day, this superior bread can cut clean through hunger because it is baked at over thousand degrees (Celsius), and is vastly superior to any other bread on earth. I earned my baking license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.
I speak French fluently, both Parisian and Quebecois dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about French history and their Napoleonic code, which I follow 100%
When I get my French visa, I am moving to Paris to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a member of the French Foreign Legion or write for Asterix!
I own several berets, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to France, so I can fit in easier. I kiss everyone on the cheek at least four times and speak French as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.
Wish me luck in France!