/brit/

Imperator edition

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did my wank
going to the pub now

*walks toward you*

new comedy night game on steam lads, it's a right laugh

hahahhahahahahaha please continue oxford gimmick in this thread also its so fun hohohoo

I reckon Tim Wonnacott would have been a good host for Crystal Maze

reddit: the game

The pay for Dean of Oxford was too low for me, rejected it and created a hereditary royal title for myself instead.

Recycle this when this thread is done:

Reminder that if you didn't go to Oxford you cannot post in this thread.

new comedy night game on steam lads, really good value for money tbqh

virgin: the post

>when empornium knows me better than any of my friends

*shoots*

Didn't do uni, didn't do A levels, got 5 GCSEs

22 years old, on 30k, shagged somewhere around 25 girls

Next poster didn't even go to Oxford.

A girl talked to me of her own volition
Am I a Chad now?

pulled myself up by the bootstraps and gave my interviewer a firm handshake and became a partner at Clifford Chance

didn't even need to attend Oxford

Oxford Oxferson's the name
built like an Ox I am

...

Oxford said I was wasting my time there, they couldn't teach me anything I didn't know and that I needed to start helping the world at large with my considerable talent instead.

Might wank lads

Interesting

ACCIDENTALLY SENT MY OXBRIDGE APPLICATION TO OXFORD AND THEY OFFERED ME A SCHOLARSHIP

Wrote a piece for my student paper on how multiculturalism and mass immigration is vital to the growth of the economy

got accepted to oxford the same afternoon

6'5 and 130 IQ

AMA

Oxford called, said they were willing to expell all their current students so they could dedicate all their time to me.

reckon if Nazi Germany was never defeated in WW2 it would have just run into the same problems as the USSR, a bloated state run by a faceless bureaucracy.

they never would have been able to capture the hearts and minds of the people after Hitler, whoever his successor would have been would never have been able to hold a candle to him. Fascism (and fascist communism) essentially needs a cult of personality to keep the populace motivated

...

...

Posted a box with a niggers head in to Oxford and got arrested within hours.

just rejected oxbridge collage six time this week

realised the old man is a brainwashed left winger and isn't really as clever as I thought when I was younger. The illusion is broken.

anime

went from oxford to cambridge to southampton solent
qualifications are like broaches and badges to me

6'3, 165 IQ and a Korean pop music idol

ama

>girl talks to me of her own volition
>give awkward one word responses
>go home and wank
ahh yes, the 'tism

Oxford rejected me because they were worried all the women on campus would be too distracted by my immense beauty and intellect, as a 7ft 10/10 12 inch cock man I had to agree.

I've read every book there is at the libraries in Oxford and even wrote hundreds of my own, literally dropped out because there was nothing more to read

how do i learn to cope with being alone?

printed out this thread and stuck it to a railing outside Oxford University

acceptance letter should come any day now

...

What is oxford

Oh, so you're average

good for you I guess

Oxford said that there was nothing they could teach me that Inalready know and said that I should spend my time enjoying life instead as my time on this beautiful Earth is both precious and fleeting

figment of the imagination

>Oxford just phoned. begged me to go. crying, said he'd be my dirty little slut and do anything i want

need to find a bf sharpish or I might just off myself haha

that was the worst one

just got accepted to oxford health

Trying to remember some Aussie comedy song that was quite catchy. All i remember is its associated with the word Nugget, it mentions the civil service at one point and the singer dresses up as a cowboy at one point. Anyone know it?

DID YOU ATTEND OXFORD?

I'm so clever that Oxford decided to start me on year 4 of my course so I only had to do a year

OXFORD
X
F
O
R
D

anyone else remember this?

Oxford Brookes accepted me with my 3 btecs

*walks into your room*

alri

wile away the hours in the halls of oxford

Don't care

are you ever going to get a job or are you just going to spend your life going to various universities

you don't, you end up killing yourself.

took this pic and tweeted it to oxford and got accepted

Scared to message anyone on dating sites

new comedy night game on steam lads, it's the best purchase you'll make

ghastly

youtube.com/watch?v=CCZ0QdDCHYs

why is he like that

I remember writing, directing and starting in all roles while I did my 4 masters degrees at Oxford.

Told oxford that I would only go if they let my muslim boyfriend go as well.

They were fine with it.

starts with n and sounds like moose

Went to Edinborough uni instead

I TURNED MYSELF INTO A PICKLE

got offered a place but with all the Chinese students there I decided not to, I didn't want to be hounded due to my Korean pop culture prowess

have you played it

i'm applying for jobs and i just applied for one in McDonald's, but i have emo scars on my arms. I know McDonald's employees wear a short sleeved uniform, so would i be allowed to wear long sleeves under the uniform to cover the scars?

Nigger on the loose?

housemate just asked me to go sit outside and watch the game with him

really dont want to. but he lets me live in a flat he owns for very cheap and i dont pay for any utilities

how do i say no?

Found out that my DNA is 7% neanderthal, apparently that's unheard of. Does this mean I'm a minority now/endangered species?

*playing amazing grace*

do you remember this?

Came to my Oxford interview in track suit bottoms and a reebok jacket and burberry cap, got rejected for some reason

went to Liverpool John Moores and now have a job in the UN.

Why do Americans pretend they aren't just overseas British people?

nigger on the noose

that's a big bust

news?

it means youve got a place at oxford!
*claps you on the shoulder*
well done lad!

Tell him you fancy him.

...

>failing to kill yourself

Pitiful desu

Oxford health called just want them gone want a green card keep getting hacks

*Notices your posts*
*strokes chin*
*Flips open my notepad and begins jotting, resting my pen on my chin in thought halfway through*

hmmm... yes yes

always finish my courses a couple of years early so I'm planning on going to 60-70 different ones before I die
literally gonna have more qualifications than the rest of you combined

that kind of outfit pretty much guarantees you a place there you daft bastard

T-17 minutes until we enter the post-wageday timezone !

Oxford university called just want them gone want a PhD keep getting hacks

sue

do you like oxford

remember making these for a girl in my highschool

My life is like having 5 stars in GTA but instead of cops, the army and FBI, it's admissions secretaries from Oxford, and instead of bullets it's acceptance letters. Fuck off guys.

NEED a jada stevens GF