The Chronicles of Narnia, The real question

Good evening gentlemens,
I come to you with a proposition.
I was watching Narnia the other day and it occured to me that if the kids stay in Narnia until they're young adults then they either were all 30yo virgins, had incestuous sex with each other or fucked fauns and dogs and shit.
So lets say they weren't virgins, which i think is likely, I mean, just look at that face. That is the face of someone who's sucked a couple of dicks. I don't think they would have sex with each other, nothing in what we are shown of their relationship sugests that. So we can, I think, safely assume they fucked wolves.

So then they come back to the real world as children and now little lucy is like an 8yo that fucked wolved and fauns and shit.

How could disney allow this?

>there are no humanoids in Narnia

I know this is bait but I'll reply anyway

WEW

Actually not bait.

Yeah there are humanoids, like fauns and shit like I said in the OP. And minotaurs and centaurs. It's bull cock and horse cock anyway, even if they have arms and legs

>this is the kind of shit the litters Sup Forums on saturday nights

i don't see what's wrong with it she wasn't a kid when she had that wolf dick in her mouth and ass

Its that then she is an 8yo that sucked Wolf cock

The middle girl can't remember her name and don't care to Google like Aya Butterfield or whatever was one of the prettiest girls I think in film history. Its really a shame what happened, I guess these movies are too boring or kind of cliched to be filmable. I still think Wardrobe was a good movie and true to the source.

lets be honest here, in the dawn treader lucy and Edmund had some serious UST. And iirc Peter comes back to Narnia in the very end, but Susan doesn't because shes a slut.

>unironically watching the Narnia films
the first film was so pedestrian and unmemorable and the others were shit

best books are Voyage of the Dawn Treader and The Silver Chair

Nah, that's just one part of Narnia. There are real people. If you saw Prince Caspian, they get captured by human slave traders. Also caspian is a human, i think.

I sometimes worry about the people that browse/tv/

We need an alternate version of the harry potter pasta for narnia

None of them had sex. Susan couldn't go back to Narnia later on because she was no longer pure. C.S Lewis was a massive christfag

In the Horse and His Boy, the Pevensies were traveling to marry Susan off to a Prince in Archenland, but she realized he was a douche and called it off.

w-what did susan do

but she looks like an adult and has lived the years of an adult

Archenland and Calormen are both populated by actual humans.
>Horse and His Boy adaptation never

Took a dick or just showed interest in boys and make up. I can't remember which

as a kid I always thought it was implied that Peter married Susan and Lucy married Edmund

showed an interest in boys and make-up (vanity). And it was lion jesus himself who condemned her for that shit.
I cant remember if its just in the movies, but in Prince Caspain they seemed pretty surpised to see other humans. I think it's just the movies, the ending of Wardrobe talks about Susan having a bunch of other princes lusting after her.

>best book never getting an adaptation
;___;

I think they would commit incest, beastiality is a bridge too far for these kids. They would explore teen urges in private with each other before they ever considered something else like faun pussy, or centaur dick.

Well, in the book it says they settled with the river gods and naiads and dryads.

Dear Christ what the fuck is that image? nightmare rapist Aslan, the uncanny valley kids, the set seems to be slightly tilted and none of the chairs are level, especially the first one on the right, and why does that rug look like it's made of wrapping paper?

its from a much older live-action movie series. I remember watching it in elementary while we were reading the series.
>tfw no movie parties to celebrate finishing a book anymore where all anyone brings is different types of cheapass chips and cookies.

You must be at least 30 years old.

Get out grandpa

Theres the Talamud or something and they fight with Narnians or something. Obviously Caspian would have divirginzed somebody, and those other humans, animals, or Ice Queen or dwarf would have raped somebody eventually.

Nah I still got a decent amount of time before I hit the 30. I'm pretty sure Lion Witch Wardrove series, outsiders, island of the blue dolphins is standard shit for elementary kids to read.

I watched those bbc narnia movies all the time growing up.

they're on DVD as well, I have no doubt that kids still get to watch them in school. Even in the late nineties we used to make fun of the dated effects. I don't see why they wouldn't still be standard reading material.

Narnia is a Christian allegory, right? I don't know because I didn't read it or see the films. But Aslan is supposed to be Jesus, right?

In Christianity you're not supposed to have sex, ever. This is why priests and nuns take vows of celibacy. The Bible begrudgingly allows you to marry and have sex for procreation, but it's clear that not having sex would be better.

Why do they hate sex so much?

Even in the early 90's when I was watching the the effects looked dated. I always liked how they did Aslan.
There s a good video on youtube with the grownup kids talking about making all the movies.

I liked the Silver Chair, but Horse and his Boy is the best.

Ha I watched that shit. That Lucy was such a meme.

The BBC 90s adaptation was awesome

>classically trained actors
>Queen was amazing
>time bandits cast were in it
>music was GOAT
>Aslan getting crucified was chilling
>Caspian was cool too, like someone out of GOT

they didn't deviate from the books much at all too IIRC