Anyway how is your sex life?

anyway how is your sex life?

One fap to Alison Brie a day keeps the insanity away.

Hahahahahah it's bad

had sex with a lesbian on wednesday.

she kept reaching for my gooch.
like she was looking a vagina.
i guess that's what you call a force of habit.

>don't plan too much, it might not come out right
words to live by

>had sex with a lesbian

Same thing happened to me a few years ago, I had known her for a while and she never expressed any interest in men, always going on about women and wearing her gay pride wrist bands and such, then we had a work do and we hooked up. Either these women are full of shit about their sexuality or they just wanted to experiment

I'm having a slow 2017 but it's mostly by choice. Sometimes I avoid it just so I don't have to deal with how awkward parting ways is afterwards.

...

Just being honest, man. The end part is always awkward for me and I have no idea why.

non existent
i hate my life

been hooking up with a girl for a few weeks now but she's kinda ghosting me before Valentine's day, which isn't the worst thing in the world I guess
sex was great but bad blowjobs

Really? I have a lesbian friend I'll be spending a weekend with. How did It go for you guys?

Alcohol helps, then maybe get into the conversation of "have you ever been with a guy" and see where it goes from there

Good luck, dude. If you get some, you get some. If you don't, at least you've still got a good friend.

Not great. It always seems to come in spurts (no pun intended) I am trying to stay away from prostitutes though

Pretty shit atm, been a couple of weeks, but I'm going out next week with this whole group so I should be able to get a hook up then.

just got laid earlier tonight, it was fun, casual. because of the demographics at my school I get laid a lot even tho I'm probably a 6-7. im kinda getting bored of it desu.

i think finding someone that you truly connect with in every way, romantic/sexual/social/whatever, is more important than your "sex" life.

because that's just part of life!

You mean my "fap to Kat Dennings" life? It's pretty good.

ditto

>tfw finally get a gf
>tfw literally too scared to have sex b/c I don't want a kid

you know there are ways you can avoid that

Coming up to my 1 year anniversary with my gf next month. It's been good, the sex is the best I've had.

Downside is we don't get to fuck as much as we would like cuz our schedules don't match and we both still live with our parents.

>tfw can't afford to live on my own cuz rental market is FUCKED here

i used to fuck. now i dont, im a monk.

I guess that's just the way things are, brother.

Australian?

condoms are for baptists and perverts

Yes, that's why there's a shitload of text on the condom box saying there's always a chance the thing don't work and you're not allowed to sue them
>inb4 >reading condom boxes

Thanks. still a virgin, so I'm probably overthinking things.

Nah live in Vancouver

That's none of your goddamn business you fucking weirdo vampire pervert

>This

My sex life is as dry as a Mad Max wasteland. The last time I had sex was 11 years ago because of the time I used a condom and I busted a nut so good inside her that I bounced backwards and leaked all inside. Worst thing is that it was a ghetto fat black girl. She ended up taking the morning after pill. But I got lucky. She was a stereotypical welfare single mother. I could have been screwed over financially. So I play it safe and fap to Xena and friends now. Am friends with Hudson Leick on Failbook. Ironically, she's a crazy bitch in irl as well. That just makes the fap even hotter.

not bad, had sex twice yesterday, for about 3 hours in total

24 year old virgin here

I'm growing more mad by the day. I have been dying just to get it over with. I'll fuck anyone

try ass, feels better

>Feels better

That's just not true.

Escorts exist you know.

>3 hours

lmao i bet you are a manlet

Dude don't fucking have kids before you are ready, it will fuck your life up. It happened to too many people I know

Lost my virginity last week to a guy who will never call me back. It was on the 30th floor of a hotel overlooking city hall so that was cool I guess

I feel thats cheating though. I guess I take but wn i said id fuck anyone. I want to at least know the girl beforehand and not pay

Non-existent. I asked a co-worker out on a date three years ago and she declined, ever since she acts like I really want her to be my girlfriend even though I really don't give a fuck. She's a 6 who thinks she's a 9. Women are annoying.

gay or roastie

either way give me your #

this is why I'm so scared to. i've got 3 family members roughly my age that all had kids before 19 and none of them were ready

Fuck I hate when that happens. Like haha I asked you out in sophomore year, but you already got asked by Chad lmao, ok I'm not going to kill myself over it.

pls b in london

have a gf, been meeting tinder girls as well, get tested every few months but terrified of the dick rot

I really want to fuck this girl I work with.
Shes only 19 and really petite. Shes got a boyfriend though

im a virgin btw

You can still score even if there's a goalie.

Clicked on this thread hoping for some Roomposting but it turned into this

Oh hi Mark! It's always this but you can room post.

You will probably end up fooling around with her a little, but set a line and don't cross it

except this goal can tell the goalie what you're up to, so the goalie can come out of the net, chase you off the field, and beat you senseless in the parking lot for trying to score

and be praised for it to boot

>just broke up with gf
>long distance
>graduated from uni at different times
>I could have moved to her city after college
>moved back home
>partly because my brother is dying
>family is in rough shape
>she thinks I have other "hidden" motivations and didnt believe me 100%
>I have always had a hard time expressing emotions
>I come across as emotionless to many people
>get extremely frustrated with her
>she questions my choice every few days for weeks
>she tells me that she will be upset at me for a long time
>expects me to come visit her
>finally broke up wednesday

I didn't hate her 100% but I couldn't stand to be in a relationship with a girl who will always be a little upset with me, and does not believe me.

I'm seeing a half jew/half latina girl who gives god-tier blowjobs and is pretty fun to hang out with tbqh. She loves movies too

Sounds like you're being a beta tbqh m8.

made out with another guy while shirtless onstage at a club earlier this morning

got his number ;3

>condoms
Kek
Get her an IUD, you stupid nigger.

She just wants you as one of her orbiters. Don't fall for that shit.

Fag

literally just pull out, it's that simple

t. 8 years having sex and pulling out with no kid

Worst. Advice. Ever.
>two trips to the clinic

you aren't doing it right then, bud.

you gotta pull out before you cum, not while you cum

Pull out game weak

I haven't had any sexual contact in more that 12 years. I kind of retreated into myself after I had a bit of a nervous breakdown and haven't been able to get back into the game. But for a while there, I was a true normalfag. Career, friends, girlfriend, proud parents, the whole bit. Good memories.

>met up with Tinder girl at a bar in town
>she's drunk and horny already, but on her period
>still get two get BJ's out of the deal
>date with different girl I'm more interested in tomorrow

Before I was consumed with loneliness, now it feels like too much effort. I feel like I ping pong back and forth between the two.

>low spermlets bragging about their infertility

i mean i could lose my virginity but i really can't bother to care about the situation, or the person.

Memed into a biography

>look at how high my sperm count is, good thing too because now I have an ugly ass kid

have a nice life

I held a girl's hand yesterday.

not to mention stds

haven't had sex in more than two years. dont really care anymore. mby because of steroids or maybe it's just that i no longer care about women as sexual partners. plus my dick is really small so there is that.

my masturbation addiction is TEARING ME APART LISA!

>tfw you can't decided on what to masturbate to
JFMSUTBH

>tfw don't enjoy sex because it's really stressful and gross and only do it for your gfs sake

THIS

>tfw if you don't have sex with her at least 3 times a week she will cuck you and leave you

>but when you want sex more than 3 times a week you're only with her for sex and she feels used

i literally have about a hundred tinder matches that i havent followed up on. im just too fucking depressed and drunk at this point to get laid even though it requires almost no effort. i just dont care anymore