Do Americans really do this?

Do Americans really do this?

Shit?

>he doesn't take his clothes off before having a shit

...

Well, I stand up to wipe but yeah I take my clothes of to shit

>stand up to wipe

you are supposed to wipe the asshole, not just your cheeks

Already this thread got me loling

I do (pull cheek back with left hand wipe with right)

I can't believe people really stick their hands in the filthy bowl

Literally this

super male vitality body

fun fact: the director is a gay

If it's a real serious poo I will take everything off and then take a shower when I'm done.

>Not pulling your balls forward and wiping from the front.

Plebs.

>tfw george is less fat yhan you

fug

>tfw I'm Ass-Squatch and i have a full head of hair in my ass.
>wipe and wipe.
>fighting an endless battle.

Lmao why are you touching anything when your hand goes in? Plus some relatively clean porcelain is better than the shit you're intentionally about to make contact with through a few tiny layers of tp

get rid of the hair on your ass man

baby wipes

wait what do you mean stick their hands in the bowl? What are you talking about? why would you stick your hand in the toilet bowl OR stand up? why would you just wipe your ass normally?

get a load of king dingle-berry here!

I don't have this issue. But, godspeed user.

iktfb

I think OP meant install a toilet on your front porch and shit right out in the open, not just take off your shirt to shit or stay sitting and wipe.

That's common in Russia except for the toilet.

>cat in the background
i lost

then what do you do with them

>tfw someone at the office uses baby wipes and just throws them into the bin in the bathroom afterwards

Man, that's disgusting

What should they do with them then?

standing up to wipe would close your buttcheeks and get shit everywhere. no wonder americans always have skidmarks.

staying seated and simply resting on one cheek keeps your cheeks parted and leaves ample space to wipe efficiently.

My ass looks like the mansion at the end of Jumanji. I just bring a water bottle to help me wipe

wipe a few time
think about the amount of blood on the TP
spray ass with bidet
wince at the pain from my fissures getting sprayed with water

How fat are you?

You're not supposed to flush baby wipes because it blocks the sewer system.

Man, Art Garfunkel looks terrible.

Install a bidet shower.

>take clothes off to shit

Same. Why would you want your clothes to smell like shit?

You guys really don`t know how to clean your ass.

>Get naked
>Shit
>Go into the shower.

Same. I don't get how anyone can wipe sitting down and claim to have wiped properly. Unhygienic bastards.

How did you get fissures?

that's disgusting if you think about it.

bidet\wet wipes it's where is at, not dirtying your shower with fucking shit.

fucking savages, monkey people

I don't get bidets.

How does just spraying your ass with water get the poop off? You'd still need to wipe.

You still wipe after using the bidet. Wet wiping is more effective than dry wiping.

wouldn't the wet TP just shred and disintegrate, leaving little rolly bits stuck in your ass hair?

Whenever I have a hard shit my anus hurts real bad and engorges out. What the fuck is that? It hurts when I touch it or sitdown. Sometimes it takes a day or two for it to go back to normal.

Do NOT shave your asshole. It feels nice the first day. Then it'll feel like there's an angry hornets nest coming your of your asshole.

If you use cheap TP. You could always start with a gentle pat first, before going in for the full wipe.

>ass hair
lol

This is where you're going wrong

Just reach into your ass with your hand before you shit a pull it out to spare the paper, that's what doctor recommended me.

Hemorrhoids. Remember, any irritation in that area can cause hemorrhoids. That includes taking hard shits. Right now, it sounds like you only have slight inflammation. That's manageable. But it will continue to get worse if you keep taking those hard shits. So you have to take counter measures to prevent that from happening. Start by increasing fiber in your diet. So you get those nice clean easy shits.

Also, be careful what kinds of soaps you use on your asshole. The ingredients in some can cause a low grade irritation, that you don't realize is happening, until you take that hard shit, and the problem compounds.

And of course, try not to sit too much. Take frequent standing breaks, or lay on your stomach/side.

Yes, India, Americans use toilets.

This film made me want to live in Texas.
Goddamn taking a shit on your own porch naked and blowing off a sheriff.

How amazing country is that of yours!

Nice one

My ex called me the wolf man waist down I look like a fucking guerrilla I know the struggle.

>guerilla

Thanks user. I always thought hemorrhoids was some kind of std. I will follow your recommendations.

Eating sunflower seeds steel and all
No matter how much you chew 'email up they still are like fish hooks when you shit them out
Barbed poo is not a fun time but I love sunflower seeds

Shell and all*

>always take immense shits for some reason
>office has some really narrow type of pipe system
>clog it every time
>have to use a toilet brush to unclog the toilet
I don't know why my shits are so massive. It's perfectly healthy poop and it's not like I eat more than the average person.

That's why you wax/nair it.

>I always thought hemorrhoids was some kind of std.

This is why we need better education.

...

>someone at the office uses baby wipes and just throws them into the bin in the bathroom afterwards

That's guaranteed to be either a woman or a shitskin.

>I love sunflower seeds

Get fuck out of my board bird.

American'ts, ladies and gentlemen.

Where's the bidet? Who wipes their asses with dry paper like some uncouth savage?

I've done this and damn it hurts, but I don't think it'd cause a rectal fissure. That's the sort of thing that happens by shoving large objects up your ass.

Fuck off yuropoor I bet you don't know what an ursus arctos horriblis is either.

>not just filling a bucket with water and pour it in the toilet with force

You need to eat more berries and less hikers if you want to get rid of your ailment.

karl urban looks like THAT?!

I feel you
I heard there's some laser surgery thing you can get to permanently remove the hair but I don't know if I want someone literally shooting laserbeams up my asshole

Yah I wasn't the fissure guy but I thought it was similar to my seed story so I shared

just use wetwipes ffs

Oops this was meant for

I'm so glad I started taking my pants off when I go to the toilet.

You really need the leg space to get the good shits.

You use the towel provided

I take a shower after shitting every time because I'm the type of guy who wastes a full roll of paper wiping and I got tired of taking so long every time I had to take a shit

eurofag here. if I could take a shit outside on a warm morning while drinking a beer and playing the guitar every day for the rest of my life I would be in heaven.

truly the land of the free.

>television and film

>mfw burgerland doesnt use the little hose in the toilet to wash their ass
do you not have that little hose in your toilets or am i just from a clearly more dveloped country?

>t. Shitty ball man
How do you wipe front to back while sitting down?

You mean your dick?

>MC goes to take a big sweaty, sloppy shit
>he doesn't pee first, then flush, because if the poo poo mixes with the pee pee he flies into a violent rage and has to stomp around the house slapping his thighs for an hour

how can hollywood be so out of touch?

no faget im talking about this little hose here

Do eurofags not do this? Damn, life must suck for them.

Lmao are you too poor to afford a Bathcuum?

Only Jews do weird things in movies in order to make the rest of the world think that is "normal". It isn't "normal" in the slightest.

is it true yuropoors use their hand to wipe?

Yes it's an ancient Islamic tradition

Europeans do NOT wipe their ass with a towel do they?

>totally naked, except shoes

AMERICANS

You dont even need a little hose or a bidet you cant just use the showers head and wash your ass in the toilet

Is this the Alex Jones body

Baby wipes and shower, friend.
Dry paper is only marginally effective under the best conditions.

Ever since I was like 8 years old, I've loved fingering my ass. Not while masturbating or anything, I just love the feeling of my finger up there. I'd go and lie down behind the couch while my parents are watching TV and finger away until I need to shit.

Anyway I'm pretty sure from years of doing this I gave myself an anal fissure with my fingernail at some point. There's a definite rip in the tissue up there.

Behold the Siberian toilet:

> get two sticks
> ram one stick in ground
> hold on to stick to shit
> second stick is for fending off wolves.

Why would you eat the shell?

absolutely disgusting

guys should be shaving their asses every other day.

i shave mine and i have never experienced this

every non-shaver claims it happens though.

I Naired my ass once when I was 18 or 19, just for the experience. It was a monstrous mistake. Hair's a dry lubricant that keeps your skin from chaffing.