Is he really a 52 year old virgin?

is he really a 52 year old virgin?

I'm turning 25 and still a virgin
It's over already, I might as well be 50
It ain't gonna happen for me

This is fine

He was in Blade Runner and Captain EO. For that alone he gets a pass.

I could believe it. Drugs completely kill your motivations for things. As does internet pornography. He probably also feels awkward when he's not stoned.

>Drugs completely kill your motivations for things.
Speed does the complete opposite, I think it should be given to autist virgins by the government

No he wasn't

He was, but that doesn't help is paper thin career.

>its a "doug acts like a teenager insisting that you need to take big bong hits and hold it in and shows his collection of stupid expensive pipes and gimmicky smoking accessories because he's an embarassing manchild who missed out on smoking weed as a teen/young adult so now he's an old man and it has become his staple because he's incredibly unfunny and so he resorts to one of the lowest forms of comedy (stoner comedy) to prologue his miserable existence" episode

Oh shit didn't realize that he was actually in Captain EO

He plays Bane in the lego batman movie

Good god just pay a prostitute and get it over with.

having sex one time with a random disgusting whore isn't meaningful, and doesn't benefit your life

He didn't start doing drugs until his 40s. He's ballsy enough to do stand up comedy he probably somehow got into a pussy along the way.

spoken like a true virgin

That's the most virgin thing you could have possibly said lol. I have a friend who's a virgin and this is always his response. You're a pussy worshiper unfortunately, snap out of it. Fuck em and dump em bro

Well, who did you expect, Sportaflop?

Dude, regular dudes who can actually pull women at bars/nightclubs fuck a bitch one night and then get over it. Just do it and get over it.

>having sex one time with a random disgusting whore isn't meaningful, and doesn't benefit your life

but he is right, casual sex especially with someone you find unattractive is not worth it -before sex you only see the pussy, after sex you only see the face

Wtf is that gay shit?

>having sex is not worth it
Yeah, better to just jerk off to cuck porn right? k

you've obviously never been in love, the sex is 50 times better

Okay but having sex is better than not having sex, just saying

only if you find her attractive, trust me

>doesn't benefit your life
Sadly it does tho, especially if you're a virgin. Pick up & fuck whichever chick you can get and before you know it you'll be fucking Stacy. It builds up your confidence and makes you less desperate. Most women can sense desperation and it's a huge turn-off.
Seriously, even my most good looking of friends started out fucking girls way under their league

>mfw it's real
Holy shit. I'm a long time fan of his podcast, so this is kind of perfect.

Honestly its only slightly better than jerking off and it has huge disadvantages like STDs and pregnacy.

Or even worst you get stuck in a relationship where your emotionally tied to a person who uses sex and their body to keep you in line and you come to regret it but you don't want her to turn around and leave you because you don't want to die alone.

All i want to do is blown my brains out, or go back to playing games and watching movies in my down time.

>DUDE WEED LMAO

What a fucking dogshit """comedian"""

DUDE WEED LMAO

you're late, faggots

Michael Jackson exhibit at Disney Epcot

He doesn't even inhale on his show. What a phony.

>all motivation killed
>still finds success in comedy

Fuck

FISHERMANS

WWWWWWWWAAAAAAARRRRRRRF

>its a Todd Glass gets triggered by Doug's old joke and nervously eats Trader Joes red licorice episode

This is to real

And is it gonna help your confidence if you literally have to give money to a girl to have sex with her? In other words, you're so undesirable to girls that they won't touch you unless there's a significant monetary compensation. And even then, hookers are literally, metaphorically and objectively actual cumdumpsters so it could even have the opposite effect on you. No even trying to say your first time should be with "da speshull 1" but she should at least care a little about you

You would be surprised how much pussy comedians get.

Every time that Fluffy dude does my part of the country there is always a handful of chicks trying to get his baby batter.

And there is the virgin.

Dude no. Sex is better than jerkin off but only slightly, and it doesn't matter how hot she is looks only last for so long if she has a shit personality she will only be in your life for a shot time.

He gets it.

>I dont mind having sex with a 4/10 woman

get some taste you degenerate

theres a saying in my language
od birača nema jebača
which translates into
nitpickers dont fuck

>Says things said by a guy who only ever heard about pussy.

>Can't punctuate a sentence.

>Probably jerks off to animu girls so only pure girls get his cummies.

>Probably to insecure to go to the movies by himself because he to autistic.

Learn about life you scrub.

I just took a shower and I'm going to see John Wick while my gf reads since we are not tied to the hip and we can be a functional couple, she is a solid 6/10 but she is easy to talk to and please sexually.

Get on my level you pathetic fuck.

once you have been with 8/10s why go back?

rating my grammar on a message board is pathetic just like your entire argument

I got laid for the first time at 23. It didn't fix anything. Fact is every girl will now have more experience than you. They fucked at a younger age than you. They fucked more guys than you will ever fuck women. You're behind by almost 10 years.

>john wick
>6/10 gf

seems about right

According to google translate that verbatim translates to
>of voters no fucker
Made me laugh.
But it basically means the same as a phrase we have in English
>Beggars can't be choosers
No?

Where do I find a woman to sex?
How do I get a woman to let me sex her?

brown girls are less choosy

kek
yeah i guess its the one and the same, except the one i posted is specifically about men/women/sex
i have a friend with super high standards, thinks 90% of girls are ugly and below his level and he's a virgin
just install tinder, it's amazing. plenty of hoes that are down for a fuck after 1-2 drinks

>tinder
I've been thinking about it but I really don't want to make a facebook.

Wow you almost cut me with all that edge son.

So I'll tell you, if your fingering a girl right it should feel like a horse sucking on your fingers.

Jesus that was some top tier bait. I can't possibly step to that. Wow wee mister will you teach me the way of the endless virgin, wait I know what a pussy taste and feels like so I can't huh. Shucks.

'specially when you da one buying the drinks heeheeeeeeee rite holmes

@79358751

what is the opposite of rejection?

>makes you less desperate

I am a 24 year old kissless virgin and not only am not I in any way desperate, i also have completely unearned ridiculously high standards for women, like movie star high standard.
And even if she looks like a goddess but she for example wears those UGGs boots or seems like sub intelligent human being, I lose any interest in talking to her at all.

The answer to why I'm a kissless virgin should be crystal clear

BRRRRAAAAAAPPP

UGG boots are great on a qt, bro

yeah but it is stupid to be willing to please a woman

>movie star high standard

what the fuck does this even mean you stupid dickless virgin 90% of actresses look fucking ugly and have ugly bodies, they are just casting couch whores

This so much.

Even if I finally lose my virginity I feel like I would still be a "virgin", like a kid who get a sip of beer at the grown-ups party and they all laugh "hehe look at the big boi user drinking his beer hehe good for you".

You'd be surprised how much your standards will change when even a 4/10 grabs your cock

and if it doesn't at least twitch in your pants then you might be a gay

that's why you wank before you go out, that dumb cum ruins your night.

this shit it's all in your head.
The truth is way worse and liberating at the same time: nobody gives a shit about you out there.

This dude is appallingly unfunny

Means that I have a high standard for women like I'm a popular movie star, only the best of the best in terms of looks.
But even movie stars fuck brainless models which don't interest me in any way in my fucked up head I don't know

Beyond help, just kys

But 4/10's don't interest me at all and I don't see how would I end up in a situation where one is grabbing my cock if I don't even want to start an interaction with them.

Well it depends what you want in life. If you are concerned about having sex experience, than just get laid and things may improve for you.

The real issue is if you actually want a relationship and to fall in love, get married, etc. It's impossible to love a slut who had such a drastic different social experience than you. Most women will be a slut compared to your experiences if you are a virgin in your 20s.

Damn this thread got derailed but I don't even mind because Benson is such a cunt

Is it even possible to find virginal girls ~18 - 20?
I'd like someone with the same amount of experience as me. I don't care if she's really plain or even kind of ugly.

It's possible but extremely unlikely. Your best bet would be with very obese girls who just graduated high school, or extremely ugly/disfigured ones. The other option is one who is extremely religious, especially a Mormon girl. You will have to convert though.

yeah but they don't go for autists

It's this kind of delusion that's keeping you from having a normal social life. Snap the fuck out of it

what qualifies as an autist anyway?

>especially a Mormon girl
>He thinks girls from a religion that supports multiple teen brides is pure

Religious girls are some of the sluttiest

>ITT:all this "dont you want to be normie" propaganda
Sup Forums should really ditch this reddit bug soon

Mormons usually are. That's why the Mormon girls get married at 18 or 19, so they can finally fuck.

>so they can finally fuck.
>someone that isn't a cousin

You don't want virgin girls dude, they will take months of your time and all you're allowed to do is grab their tits over their clothes. Then as soon as you break up she will fuck the next person right away and become the whore she was always meant to be

nah haven't you heard? fucking a prostitute one time and potentially getting a disease is better than not having sex one time and spending that money on yourself (you could even use that money to make yourself more attractive to women, what a shocker). apparently if you want to have regular sex, it's absolutely necessary to first pay a whore to feel bored with you for an hour. that's the magic key that unlocks the golden gates

somehow, if you pay women to have sex with you, then you're not a "pussy worshipper". it's kind of like if you go to church and give them collection money, that makes you an atheist

What if I have no photos of myself because I have no social life?
I don't think girls would be attracted to the dude with all self taken pics.

Stage them, make it look like you have.
I learned basic photography practically just for those purposes, certain framing and composition changes the outlook of any situation by a lot.

But you can't learn on the internet how to stop being autistic in social interactions so we're pretty much doomed my friend.

What about a dog selfie?
Random strangers say my dog is adorable.
Could she get me pussy?

use maybe 1 or 2 dog pics. the most effective pics are social pics like ones with a group of friends or at a beach or concert

girls want to go out with someone they think is sociable or has social value desu

Make one for that and only that. Doesn't even need a real last name.

>tfw 22 year old virgin

I stopped caring about 2 years ago I mean I'd do it if I had the chance I guess but I don't care about having a relationship or talking to new people I just like going to work and playing video games when I get home and buying whatever I want. I just like hanging out with my friends who are all normies with gfs and hanging out at home I'm glad I'm apathetic cause I'd probably be ripping my hair out or being sad about a girl that doesn't like me back

This faggot grinds my gears, other comedians must hate him, why is getting guests on your show and getting really stoned while recording it a good idea? It's awkward as fuck

>24
>finally lost virginity
>suddenly it's not enough
>break up with her after 2 years
>26 autismal dude with the same skill for women
~
ayy

No, he exclusively fucks hookers.

He has multiple strains of HPV and Herpes to prove it.

i would do this but i dont know how to go about it

>get tinder
>never get any likes

It's not like i wated to fuck a whore or anything.

>get likes
>they never respond or just delete the chat

Not sure what hurts more.

Don't, it's not worth it.
Masturbate to a hookers porn video and you will get the same empty cold feeling.

27 here. might as well go for the wizard

Most likely fake profiles. I live in KEBEK, so it's easy to spot them when it's written they study at UCLA or shit like that or when the profile pics are Angie Verona when she was 15. I even saw one that was using Nikki Bella's (the wrestler) face. They didn't even use her ring name or Nicole, it was something like Lucille or whatever.

>Most likely fake profiles.

Don't think so. I'm from Poortugal and you can really tell if they're fake.

>It's an user has an embarrasingly small penis that he's too shy to even fuck a whore episode

I don't have friends so that's really not an option.
I'll just do one with the doggo, one of me playing guitar, and one that's just a well done portrait.

...