/brit/

vacuum edition

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anyone in the greater manchester area fancy a scrap?

couldnt fit my fingers into the hole at the start so i put two cotton buds into there and pulled away from eachother. when i could fit fingers i would do the same but with fingers.

liverpool mentions in the last thread: 5

reminder

taught my oxford interviewer how planes work and he hired me on the spot

the cute girl with the cute ears didn't know how planes worked when i asked her today

favourite part of being an adult is realizing literally nothing that happens to children matters to me anymore.

state education abolished? doesn't matter.
national service on turning 16? not my problem
P.E. every day? good idea

...

hired as a toilet cleaner i mean

me doing a fat line
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thats 5 too many

european cities feel so small and provincial, and the nice old architecture never extends past a tiny tourist infested core. their suburbs are like north american suburbs but with less space. post war UK is honestly a grim place outside of the picturesque rural areas

yeah ahhaha thats mental, isnt it?
*talks to someone better looking*

I’m listening to more Black Sabbath, I really like “Paranoid” even though it’s not a proper/full song, it definitely relate to the lyrics.

At work I talked tonnes, my victims were two coworkers before the start of my shift, just work stuff, I was happy to be talking, big smile on my face throughout, the first one I chatted to for a minute was the little guy on my way in and the other was the tall guy for a solid 5 minutes, work stuff both time, same icebreaker by me and during both conversations I brought up how I’ve cost the company £500.

Later in the day I spoke to the woman who sits next to me, I fucked up, I did that old thing where I get argumentative and take the stance opposite my conversations partner for the sake of generating/continuing conversation. The final series of short conversations were with the guy who sits opposite me, he’s pretty cool, plays a lot of vidya (but not Persona 5), surprisingly he is a bit mean though, called a coworker annoying. I feel bad about the conversation with the womam, she made efforts to initiate with me.

Walking from work in the rain was comfy. I’ve been fantasising a lot about having a gf recently so that I’d look normal to others.

Watched The Apprentice at home. My diet is continuing to go well, just a banana and yoghurt for lunch again.

Helen Clark [Prime Minister]: Michael, I have a bit of news I should make you aware of...
Michael Cullen [Minister of Finance]: Yes, I do know, Helen, the Mauri Pacific party has died.
Helen Clark : Uh, no, actually, it's that this morning, well, I set up a Kiwi bank.
Ruth Dyson [Minister for Women's affairs]: ...what?
Michael Cullen: You did what? You s- you set up a bank?
Phil Goff [Phil Goff]: I had a moment of weakness and Jim exploited it, like Roger Douglas!
Helen Clark : Yeah, well, we didn't really have much choice because it was all going to piss in a kettle here, so we had to get the coalition deal out of the way.
Michael Cullen: What are you talking about? What coalition?
Helen Clark : We were having a preliminary meeting with the Alliance when Phil was starting to cry, the greens were having a meltdown, it was getting embarrassing!
Michael Cullen: You bought a bank out of social embarrassment? I sometimes buy "The Dominion Post" out of social embarrassment, I don't buy a fucking bank!
Helen Clark: Michael, this is so fucking us!
Mike Munro[Press Secretary]: Hold on, let's just wind back, let's just get this straight so that I can deal with you two properly, how much is this bank?
Helen Clark & Phil Goff:Well, uh, two billion.
Mike Munro: Sweet Tracey Emin!
Ruth Dyson: Two billion?!
Phil Goff: Alright, don't need to shit yourself about it, because we're not buying it. Okay? It's funded by taxes.
Ruth Dyson: Oh, that's alright then!
Michael Cullen: Oh! Great, the triple! I'm a Rogernome, a banker, and now I'm raising fucking TAXES?!!

enjoy having disposable income and am a better person from being forced into being social, to each his own though

This is the way step inside

...

want to beat the shit out of a woman

bet the other girls were jealous of how pretty she was

Does the lettuce in your big mac count as part of your five a day?

HERTSSS AHH WTF

SHAT AP BLAD

stop stealing my one off's

and dont get me started on penis inspection day

ill make it hurt even more

do women actually find this attractive?

wish i had a benis so large it hurt girls and i got to bum them as deep as i wanted

poles always have "that face" to them. like there is this distinctly polish look that all poles have

she was too pure for this country

Imagine being this narcissistic and self indulgent
youtube.com/watch?v=jz2nObmvLRQ

manny's a much bigger city than the others so will have more job options. imo leeds is pretty similar to manchester too, theyre the most economically booming (lol) parts of the north
leeds also has the advantage of being surrounded by decent yorkshire scenery

Getting tfw acvidently killed my gf pretty hard rn desu

fun fact : you can refresh the windows desktop by hitting F5

>Phil Goff [Phil Goff]:
only good joke here
possibly the only joke

not sure

Right, but of all the things he *could* do it does only end up being watching anime. They don't even learn the language which is amazing considering how much immersion there must be hearing more Japanese than English every day.

are you hiroyuki fukishima

The Beatles innit

fuck off

*hands you your p45*

girl with the cute ears and the cute giggle handed in her notice at work today.

feel like offing myself.

*mentions liverpool*

oh my

Spaniard: go to Liverpool

Thoughts on the band Japan?

very windy
would recommend manchester because it's less windy

so we all now how propeller planes work.

so how do jet engines work?

not looking forward to the end of daylight saving lads,

dark and doom awaits

Sad such a qt too

would appreciate if you stopped making me sad

Lol unlucky

>girl with the cute ears and the cute giggle handed in her notice at work today.
why?

liverpoo is a shithole ngl

Ask her out now.
then when she says no, get over her.

sefton park meetup 5 minutes

The sound Scousers make when they're drowning is incredibly enjoyable

'e

thought it might end this way

Not true unless you're right down by the waterfront

stalking and harassment

...

>The Las Vagas shooting is impressive, though I don’t care about the guys motives, the media doesn’t really care either, whenever someone commits an act like this the motive is mostly ignored or mocked (Elliot). All that matters and all that will be remembered is his score
tfw pakiman's sociopathic interpretations of the world occasionally hits the nail right on the head

not in this world user

wheyyyy wanker

ahh yes but le farmers get to wake in the le light

they also get to receive massive subsidies from the government as well.

Love Liverpool
Hate Manchester
Simple as

baracking and harassing

alri be outside oasis in the park at 7

mum said i can play on my playstation until i get a job

>Sefton Park

;_; I want to go back

sent her all your /brit/ posts and thats why she's resigned. stop being such an obsessive wanker

Liverpool's great
wrong
wrong

Not even a nonce (think about why that could be cant say it outright or janny will bane ne)

Just moved to Manchester and naturally have visited Liverpool a few times now.

Disagree with you tbqh.

really

fraught with envy

I only take girls who never touched a dick, never had a dick in their mouth and never had a dick in their vagina and ass.

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thoughts?

howling at continentals and japanese who think britain is some sort of lovely Victorian Mary Poppins/Oxford/Hogwarts type place and they arrive and it looks like this

quite a good post ngl

This guy at work keeps stalking me. I had to quit my job. I jokingly said we should go to the cinema and I think he took it seriously. I had to ask another work mate to come to put him off. He's really weird and ugly.

lol not even him. just using his autism to get (You)s

scouse birds sound sexy

I do think Manchester city centre is pretty nice but most of the place looks dreary and grim

>Length
You can fuck that sky high!

would look absolutely fine with some sunlight.

except the media is only ignoring the killer's motives because he was a rabid lefty
if he was a member of the so-called alt-right the media would be blaming drumpf for the attack

literally who is ishiguro

*visits britain*
*only visits westminstr in london, oxford, maybe cambridge or stratford*
*even the interlude to those places goes through the lovely chiltrn and cotswalds*
*delusions never get corrected*

I'll bring the footie

wew

>Imogen Poots
my daiiz

*tries to pronounce k*
*gargles*

Love white culture

a British writer

if britain was frozen in 1950 it would be a victorian paradise

played fable 2 again recently
had a kid in it
came back from the spire and he was black

Degenerate

>plan for after work
>get home
>cook some scran
>read my book
>go lifting

actual situation
>get home
>housemates hog the kitchen
>sat on /brit/ lamenting it feeling increidbly hungry since i didn't eat anything at work

...