Let's talk about harry potter

let's talk about harry potter

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Third movie is the best because of Cuaron's direction, fifth book is the best because it's the most interesting, but at the end of the day, it's for children and I don't actually care about it anymore.

He's a pretty shit student. Like appallingly lazy and bad. He's the kind of kid who either aces a subject through natural talent or scrapes a D because studying is hard.

You'd think kids might try a little harder at school when the reward is wizard powers.

Rowling is a very lucky hack

I like the premise but the actors all grew to be shitty at it, really spoils the whole thing imo

"No!"

Wait for it....

Let's post stale Harry Potter pasta

Just post it already

Does anyone else think Harry Potter has been one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises? Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Harry Potter sucks, shit doesn't even have a single Oscar.

Fantastic Cuties > Harry Duller

Harry is a non-character and never, ever, ever, had to make a difficult choice in his whole life.

Inb4 the pasta

Why would you want to talk about one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises? Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Does anybody else feel Sup Forums has fallen into a rut?

Just avoid capeshit and harry potter and thinly veiled jerk off threads and you'll be fine.

Why would I talk about one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises? Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Legitimate question: They're willing to execute Newt and that one lady for breaching their society's secrecy, so why does international criminal Grindelwald not get the same treatment or just flat-out executed on the spot?

>Boy-it's-really-fucking-boring-hood
>GOD TIER
That's bait.

Hogwarts is a shit school.

>complains about Boyhood
Have you seen the other movies films listed in God Tier?

Watching this series for the first time with Rifftrax because reasons. This stuff is so boring. I don't see what nerds like in this mess. My gf kept falling asleep, and I came close to narcolepsy with it. And Voldemort is not a compelling bad guy. He's a boring pile of excrement.

"No!"

>high tier
>vertigo

It's bretty gud bait.

Wait, so what happened with pupils who didn't get passable grade in OWLs or NEWTs?

AND KEK THREADER', PLANE POSTING', RAIMI DOING', SHANE SUPPING', BOT RESPONDING', NEEGEN BENDING' TOO

You take OWLs in 5th year and if you're a retard and fail you have two more years to take remedial classes and scrape a pass.

NEWTs are like graduate school. You don't have to bother unless you want certain really cushy government jobs.

Nothing.
I mean, you don't need GRRM levels of detail, but in a huge as fuck castle-school with fuckhuge lands for only 300 students...
you don't get much if you don't ask much.

I WANT TO FUCK LUNA

How big is the wizarding world? If theres only school in the UK the population must be around 10,000.

No wonder Voldemort wanted racial purity.

Harry Shitter is boring because it takes place in Bongistan one of the most boring places in Europe landscape wise, nothing but shitty boring temperate forest and no cool wildlife at all unlike continental Europe and not much mountains either.

Now if Harry Potter took place in North America it would be better.

Fuck off faggot, Luna is pure and was made for cuddles and handholding

i come to Sup Forums just for this

No, fluff material provided information about 6 or so schools but it's implied that there're a lot more.
The main ones that actually developed somehow are Hogwarts in UK and Ilvermony in US.

...

Everything went to boring shit when they stopped with Hogwarts daily life in books and movies.
Hogwarts is the only interesting thing in them.

She's aged like milk and looks like an overweight 40 year old mother who's had eight kids.

Is she Nordic or something?

>sitting in potions class
>autistic kid comes in late with his hood up
>mfw
>casts avada kedavra at teacher
>teacher's dead at desk
>casting murder and torture spells at all the 13/14 year olds
>almost all dead at this point
>3 police hippogryphs turn up
>kid starts panicking
>paces back and forth for a while
>turns wand on himself

yeah, it would be miles better

But I want to fuck schooltime Luna, not today one

>NEWTs?

Wait what?

>unable to distinguish between luna and the actress who played her

i'm reading harry potter and the methods of rationality right now, it's hilarious

it's written by some sort of singularity cultist that says if you give him money he can build a superhuman ai that will end death forever (he's actually a high school dropout that can't even program). so the entire thing is his self-insert version of harry potter walking around totally destroying everyone at hogwarts with his fedora atheist singularity transhumanism. he makes bullies run away crying because of his superior intelligence, he outsmarts every teacher, he gets standing ovations from other students etc etc.

i just got to the part where he destroys a dementor by believing in science really hard. his patronus is a human instead of an animal because of how enlightened he is.

oh and the whole thing is peppered with random and sudden references to child rape. for example, the sorting hat says to harry, in the middle of a comedic interlude, that the little girls he sorts into houses are sometimes pregnant from having been molested. then it's back to jokes!

i'm only 1/3 of the way through it and it's already my favorite harry potter thing ever. it's legit outsider art.

Wizard's exams on 7th year

Fucking kek

>Now if Harry Potter took place in North America it would be better.

that's what FB was and it was still the dullest

i have no idea what you're on about but it sounds hilarious

>i just got to the part where he destroys a dementor by believing in science really hard.

So it's like The Flight of Dragons but shittier?

>wizard exams called newts
>names her MC newt

Rowling is a hack.

He went for too long with it.
Fucking 661k words of sel-insert wank.
Some people don't know when to stop.

It has some good ideas but is pretty much ruined by no editor and too much self-wanking

Newt Scamander character was established as back as the first Harry Potter book and second game.

>goes from a beautiful ginger twink to that

What went wrong?

He used polyjuice so he could go as Colonel Mustard for Halloween.

it's not that believing in science stops magic, it's more complicated

basically the dementors are retconned into being physical manifestations of death and harry/the author believes that death will be "fixed" by science within his lifetime and nobody will ever die again (and all the people that died before will be resurrected because science will reverse entropy)

so harry faces the dementor and thinks about how science will soon conquer death and his patronus is a deathless posthuman. the dementor is so scared of harry's enlightened mind it pops out of existence. then dumbledore begs harry to share the secret of destroying dementors but harry's like "you're not READY" and walks away. btw harry is way smarter than dumbledore despite being 11, because he reads feynman.

>Fucking 661k words of sel-insert wank.
>no editor and too much self-wanking

but that's the best part

i have zero interest in "good" harry potter fanfiction. i just want total immersion in the strange fantasies of an internet weirdo.

You should mention the fact that it's fanfiction next time, the first time I read your post I thought it's either a pasta or your delusional ramblings

>there's actually a wiki page for this en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_and_the_Methods_of_Rationality

wtf is wrong with these people

E-Elliot?

the best part is the author made a page about himself to make him look like a real scientist

>Eliezer Shlomo Yudkowsky (born September 11, 1979) is an American artificial intelligence researcher

never finished high school, never attended college, never employed as a researcher, never published a peer-reviewed paper, never published a line of AI code

>research fellow at the Machine Intelligence Research Institute

sounds serious, right? it's literally just him writing a blog. the "institute" produces no research at all and none of the handful of employees are qualified to do any AI research.

Why is it still up then? Sure Wikipedia doesn't condone lies

Why on Earth would I want to talk about one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises.

Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

because they're not literal lies. there is a real legal entity called "machine intelligence research institute", which he started, and he gave himself the title of "ai researcher" within his own organization. he just produces harry potter fanfiction and blog posts about how you should give him money instead of ai research.

and if you try to clarify that in the article his fans will remove it.

Yudkowsky basically runs a religious cult for nerds, and nerds run Wikipedia

Man. Peter even recites all the sciences in alphabetical order.
I DENY ALL MAGIC

It's pretty good depending on the movie, but overrated overall.

Why would you be shit posting one of the dullest shitposts in the history of shitposting copypasta.

Seriously each thread following the copypasta and his pals from Shitpost Academy as they fight the dullest franchise has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the bland openings, the shitpost’s only consistency has been its lack of originality and ineffective use of criticism, all to make OCs unoriginal, to make words seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when user vetoed the idea of Moot exclusively owning the rights to the copypasta; he made sure the shitpost would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for the Harry Potter books. The Dullest franchise shit-post might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-Baneposting series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and keks. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the edits were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the every edit I've read was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "was a part of the dullest franchise."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Anons' minds are so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that they has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of the shitpost by a brap-poster. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are posting the dullest franchise pasta at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to brap-post." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you post the "dullest franchise" pasta you are, in fact, trained to brap-post.

b-but the edits are good

"No!"

So whats the curriculum like in Hogwarts

The writing is dreadful; the every edit I've read was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "was a part of the dullest franchise."

I would watch this.

alan moore already did the "harry potter school shooter" joke

D R O P P E D
R
O
P
P
E
D

>when the reward is wizard powers.
I feel you. It boggles me how quickly students had grown apathetic to their lessons when they were disclosing all sorts of new great magic stuff everyday.
I guess it's to be expected but Harry's reaction to classes really quicky goes "I wanna learn everything about magic" to "oh yuck classes". Like way too fast.

Well grindelwald was the one who ordered their execution. It is presumed the helpers were imperius'd (which is why they acted so creepy) which is why no one asked questions.

Am I the only one who thought that the obscurus shit was stupid and unneeded?

and yet you scour tumblr and have a gif folder for it. have something to confess, user?

Stop removing Atlas Shrugged

Why don't you grow up instead?

Why did no one actually try to kill the Death Eaters during their fights? Harry is also a faggot for only using a disarming spell in his fights.

>shit low effort intro
>no atlas shrugged

you're not worthy of posting this kino pasta

Anyone have good pics of JK's rowlings?

because wizard society is stupid and i guess has no concept of justifiable homicide. the killing curse is "unforgivable" and no matter the context you'll get sent to magic auschwitz.

Why do I find the "No!" in that pasta to be the funniest part?

It's not the subject, it's the teachers. A good teacher can make even a mundane subject interesting. You'd really want to kill yourself going to most of those classes except for Hagrids.

Sure, i think is one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

snape is the best. his entire career is based on psychologically abusing students and he can literally read their minds to torment them better. then it turns out he had ~*secret goodness*~ in his heart so all is forgiven.

Oh boy,not another episode of one of the dullest shitflinging in the history of the internet!! Seriously each episode following Chris Chan and Captain Autismo from Reddit as we shit up the board has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the quips, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of originality and ineffective use of subtle improvisation, all to make reposts unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when gook Moot vetoed the idea of janitors moderating the board; he made sure discussions would never be mistaken for a quipfest that meant anything to redditors?just ridiculously unfunny (You) gathering for his paycheck. The Harry Potter threads might be anti-Kino (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-BvS series in its refusal of worthwhile discussion, theories and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the pastas were funny though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the image was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a thread started one way, the nigger wrote instead that the post "was one of the dullest"

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Chris Chan and Captain Autismo mind is so governed by copy and pasting that xir has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Sup Forums by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these redditors are browsing reddit or 9gag at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to waste their lives posting on a Chinese Cartoon imageboard." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Sup Forums" you are, in fact, trained to spout shit memes without getting upvoted

What shall we talk about?

That's literally only the last book you lying little shit

i know it's one book but when you read it it feels like seven